


Letters From Home

by Winchesterek



Series: Bakery AU [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Anal Sex, Background Allison Argent/Isaac Lahey - Freeform, Background Lydia Martin/Jackson Whittemore - Freeform, Background Scott McCall/Allison Argent - Freeform, Bakery, Baking, Barebacking, Character Death (Not Stiles or Derek), Claiming, Emissary Stiles Stilinski, Knotting, Letters, M/M, Mates, Mention of Death by Suicide, Minor Sexual Assault, Mpreg, Oral Sex, POV Alternating, Past Kate Argent/Derek Hale, Pregnant Sex, Pretend Mates, Shifted sex (Derek is a wolf and Stiles is human), surprise cameos - Freeform, unprotected sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-15
Updated: 2014-12-15
Packaged: 2018-03-01 06:50:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 83,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2763695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winchesterek/pseuds/Winchesterek
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a tragic accident, Derek Hale, a U.S. WERE (Werewolf Enforcement/Recon/Engagement), comes home for the first time in years, seeking the pack he was given charge of and looking for the smiling young man whose photograph he thinks worked as a good luck charm during his deployment.</p><p>~~</p><p>Or the one where Stiles runs a bakery with the pack and Derek returns to Beacon Hills and meets the young man he's been writing letters with.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> **Fic** \- So, a little about this fic? This fic originally came to be when I saw a prompt post about someone wanting a fic based off the book/movie _The Lucky One_. This fic was originally going to be loosely based off of that, with Derek returning home and having a photograph, but it took on a life of its own and became its own story. Either way, I hope you like it!
> 
> The title came from a song I've been listening to a lot recently. [You can hear the song here.](http://youtu.be/X75sVw0xH2c) Warning - it is country. Whoops. I've heard this song a lot before, but I recently watched the video and realized there was a guy getting a package and reading a letter as he was eating cookies. It made me smile and cemented the title for me. When you read the fic you'll be able to see why. :) When the song gets to around 1:37 in the video it was also very reminiscent of the moments I felt while writing and editing this fic.
> 
> The story takes place on two different timelines. One timeline is in letters that Derek and Stiles write back and forth to each other before they meet each other and the other is what I'd like to refer to as the "present" timeline, in which it takes place on a different timeline than the letters. I guess you could consider the letters as "flashbacks" of them writing and getting to know each other before they meet.
> 
>  **Art** \- Go check out the awesome art that was created for this fic and leave our artist lots of kudos! *seal clap* Yayyy art! [COME CHECK OUT THE ART HERE!](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2768312)
> 
>  **Co-Authors/Beta** \- Whew! What a journey! I'd like to thank my co-authors [Emily](http://archiveofourown.org/users/SuperfluousEmi/pseuds/SuperfluousEmi) (Super special thanks to Em because I would not have been able to re-write and edit this fic without you. I swear I would be bald by now if I did not have your support through this!) and [Morgana](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Morgana/pseuds/Morgana) for your help getting through this fic. Any and all mistakes are mine since I solely edited and overhauled this bad boy. If you find something, feel free to [contact me on Tumblr](http://sterekbros.tumblr.com/) to let me know since I didn't use a beta. 
> 
> **Tags** \- If you need to read spoilers for the tags _Mpreg, Suicide, Sexual Assault and Character Death_ they are at the end. Warning, they are spoilers, but if you feel you need to read about them in order to read the fic, please do.
> 
>  **Kudos & Comments** \- Your comments will be deleted if they are negative. We, as authors, have written the fic to our liking. For those of you who have something nice to say, comment away!

Derek frowned as he looked from McCall to the envelope he was holding out to him. “What’s that?”

Scott looked down at the letter in his hand and back at Derek. “Just take it. It’s a letter. My pack put together a care package and wrote a bunch of letters to the guys and I’m passing them out. This one is for you and we’ve got some candy and other goodies in the box if you want some.”

“Someone in your pack wrote me a letter?” He couldn’t quite understand it. Why would somebody he’d never met write to him? But McCall just kept staring at him, so he sighed and took the envelope. “This doesn’t mean I have to write back,” he told him.

Scott raised a shoulder. “Your choice dude. I’ll just give it to someone else when the next box comes.”

“So you’re just going to hand these out every so often?” He squinted at the scrawl on the envelope. “Jesus. What the hell does that say, anyway?”

Scott laughed. “Uh, if I knew I’d tell you,” he said as he looked at the envelope Derek was holding now. “And yeah, I’m going to be handing these out whenever I get a box. But if everyone writes back, I’m sure the next ones will be more personalized and addressed to you. I’ll be sending out a post at the end of the week with everyone’s letters.”

Derek just grunted and headed off to the barracks. He wasn’t going to be writing back, but he’d already told McCall that. Not that he really expected it to deter him. But then, McCall was an anomaly to begin with. For one thing, he was a WERE, but he had a pack. Nobody else in the squad had a pack - it was part of what made them good WEREs, the fact that they could channel the Alpha need to protect into the squad and their missions. But McCall had a pack, yet he’d signed up anyway. And apparently that pack wrote letters. Letters that came in envelopes with messy scrawls. Derek squinted down at his, trying to make it out. Hopefully the letter inside would be legible, at least, although he didn’t really have much hope for it based on the outside. Tearing the envelope open, he pulled the paper out and unfolded it, then started reading.

> _Dear Alpha soldier dude._
> 
> _Sorry about the handwriting. I know it sucks. I’ve been trying to work on it since I could write, but hey, there’s not really any saving it now, is there? I’m not really sure what to say here since these letters are supposed to be handed out at random so HEY, hi there. My name is Stiles. Uh, I included a picture in the envelope. I’m not sure if you’d want one or if you even want to be a penpal or whatever, but I figured sending one anyway would be a good idea so you could put a face with a name and all that._
> 
> _A little about me? I like to read, but mostly research stuff. Not anything specific, just a lot of everything. Uh, I run a bakery. I learned to bake from my mom, but it’s kind of a pack thing now. We bake. We’re a pack that bakes. If I could send baked goods without them going stale before they get there or molding or whatever they do in the mail for however long it takes this to get there, I would. But you might have a case of Darwinism on your hands if I do that, so I’ll stick with letters and hard candies and other things that hold._
> 
> _Hopefully this letter finds all of you in good spirits. Enjoy the treats._
> 
> _Stiles_

Despite himself, Derek chuckled. The tone of the letter was actually pretty amusing, from the rambling about baking to the Darwinism of a package that sat in the mail for what could be months before it made its way to their squad. Although the name was kind of weird. Who named their kid Stiles?!?

He looked in the envelope and sure enough, there was a picture. A young man leaned against a counter, grinning at the camera with a crooked smile. There was flour on his shirt and a smear of chocolate at the corner of his mouth, but he didn’t seem to care, and looking at the picture, Derek didn’t either. There was something so alive about the kid, something that made him wonder if this wasn’t what he was fighting for, what they were all fighting for, so kids like this got to grow up laughing and making whatever it was that had dirtied him up like that.

And he’d said he wasn’t going to write back, but he didn’t want to think about that bright grin fading away when everyone else in the pack got a letter and he didn’t. Derek headed over to his foot locker and pulled out the first thing he came across that wasn’t a classified order. Finding a pen took a little more effort, but eventually he managed to come up with one. Flipping the paper over, he started writing.

> _Dear Stiles,_
> 
> _Thanks for your letter. And my name’s Derek, not ‘Alpha soldier dude’. We’re all Alphas in this squad, just in case McCall hasn’t told you very much about us. I can’t offer much information, since most of what we do is classified. Your bakery sounds nice - is that where the picture was taken? Anyway, thanks for writing and hopefully you don’t have any Darwinism problems._
> 
> _Lt Derek Hale  
>  US WERE_

 

***

Things had gone wrong. Derek still wasn’t exactly sure just how their usually reliable information had gotten so botched, but the bodies scattered across the road showed just how fucked up it was. It was supposed to have been a simple mission - take down a rogue hunter, one whose own family had turned her in. She’d been holed up in a little cabin up in the Colorado mountains, and they’d planned on an easy takedown, but somehow, she’d gotten the jump on them. Even that wouldn’t have been so bad if she hadn’t had help.

A Darach. Who the fuck would’ve thought that a hunter would team up with a Darach? Most of them hated anything supernatural. They usually distrusted magic, relying only on the weapons they bought and the bullets they forged themselves. But the dark hellfire that had engulfed Carver and the blade that had sliced into McCall weren’t natural things, anymore than the thing Derek had torn apart was. He wanted to go back and slice the bitch up some more, just to make sure she couldn’t come after them, but right now he had something more important to worry about. “You still with me McCall?”

Scott groaned in pain, holding his side as Derek dragged him along. He couldn't stand up on his own anymore, clinging to Derek with his one good arm. “I’m not gonna make it,” he gasped, feeling like he was drowning on his own blood. “I’m not healing. There’s too much blood.”

“You’ll be fine. Just have to make it to an extraction point and we can get you out of here,” Derek grunted, but he knew it was a lie. McCall was right - there was too much blood and it wasn’t slowing down. “C’mon, work with me here.”

Scott coughed, blood spattering over Derek from the force of it. “Derek. Stop. You have to leave me if you’re going to make it to that extraction point. The hunter isn’t going to let up. I can buy you some time. If she stops long enough, you might be able to get away. I’m dead weight, man. You know it.”

“We don’t leave anyone behind.” It was bad enough that one of his men was dead and Derek had barely been able to collect his tags for his family, but to leave a wounded man just so he could get away... that was unthinkable. “You know that. Now just keep walking. Do it for your pack.”

“You have to take care of them,” Scott breathed. “You know they’ll be hunted without an Alpha. And Allison -” Scott stumbled along with Derek.

“They’re not going to be without an Alpha, because you’re going home as soon as we get out of here.” Especially since the last batch of letters had talked about the pups she was going to be having. “You owe it to those pups of yours to make it out of here, McCall.” There was no way Derek could stand in for father and pack Alpha both, not when he didn’t know how to be either.

Scott smiled weakly. “Stiles - he has to.” Scott coughed again, his facial features starting to smooth out, Derek assumed, because of the numbness that must be setting in. “Promise me. P-please.”

Derek wanted to say no, but when blood spattered his shirt as McCall coughed, he heard himself say, “Yeah. Okay.” It didn’t have to mean anything, he told himself. Just something to quiet McCall down and allow Derek to get him to safety.

The light started to fade from Scott’s eyes, his gaze glassy as he went limp in Derek’s arms. Then he stopped breathing. It took Derek a minute to realize that he was no longer urging on a fading man, but dragging a dead one. But he wasn’t about to leave him, even then. If McCall’s pack couldn’t have their leader back alive, he was damn sure they would get a chance to say a proper goodbye to him.


	2. Chapter 2

Stiles wrapped his arm around Allison, holding her tight against his side, stroking a hand over her head as he tried to soothe her the best he could. Lydia was next to them, caring for the pups while they watched Scott’s casket lowered into the ground as Taps played softly.

He couldn't believe it. Scott was dead. His best friend was dead. It was the last thing that Stiles thought would ever happen. They were young and invincible and this never should have happened. Scott should be home with his pups, Allison and the pack, and things should be _right_ … but they weren't.

~

Funerals were never easy, and pack funerals were the worst of all. The Betas gathered beside the grave, huddled together as they stared at the casket like it contained their entire world... that was an image that would stay with Derek for years, he was sure of it. Derek managed to get through it all, had stepped forward along with Aiden to take the flag up and fold it then presented it to McCall’s mate. The look on her face when she’d taken it was enough to break his heart. It was clear hers was shattered, right along with her life and the pack McCall had been so worried about.

That was why Derek had gone back to the house, to make sure the widow and Betas would be okay. McCall had seemed so certain they wouldn’t survive alone that he owed it to him to make sure they had what they needed. He got out of the car and headed up the walk, then knocked on the door. Hopefully this wouldn’t take long.

“Can I help you?” Stiles asked tightly, shoulders squared to Derek, blocking entrance to the house.

_Stiles_. It was Stiles. Derek really shouldn’t have been surprised to see him, since he was part of the McCall pack, but somehow he hadn’t expected to come face to face with him like this. He automatically removed his hat, tucking it under his arm. “I was hoping to speak with Mrs McCall.”

“Allison isn’t really up for visitors,” Stiles said with honesty in his voice, obviously uncomfortable with Derek’s presence. “Is this some kinda military thing?” Stiles asked with a careful tone.

“Not really.” Derek wasn’t exactly sure how to tell Stiles that Scott had wanted him to take the pack. Especially since he wasn’t going to. “It’s about her husband. I have a message for her.”

Stiles stepped outside and closed the door behind him, not hesitating to crowd Derek’s space as he did so. “You can tell me and I’ll pass the message on. She won't be up for visits or conversations for a few days, if that.”

Derek stood his ground, refusing to move back. The kid was pushy and he had balls, he’d give him that. “It’s private. I just need to talk to her for a few minutes and then I’ll leave you all alone, I promise.”

Stiles gave him a stern look. “Given that she can't take care of her own pups right now, I don't think she’s fit for conversation. Come back in a few days and we’ll talk then. She’s had enough today, with the funeral and everything.”

That wasn’t too much to ask, was it? Derek could go back to his hotel room and call the base, let them know that he’d need to extend his leave for a few days. Just because McCall had come from Beacon Hills, Derek’s own hometown, didn’t mean he couldn’t stay for a little while. “When should I come back?”

“Monday afternoon. I’ll make sure she’s ready.”

“Thank you.” Derek nodded and put his hat back on, automatically settling it in place and smoothing one hand across the brim. “I’ll see you then.” An awkward silence descended before he added, “It was... nice to see you, Stiles.”

Stiles’ face scrunched up in confusion. “Uh, sorry, but I don't know you. So really not seeing how it would be all that nice to see me, especially with the current situation.”

_Oh_. Derek hadn’t realized that Stiles didn’t know who he was. He had just assumed that Stiles would know him, but then he guessed he shouldn’t be that surprised, since he hadn’t exactly sent a picture or anything. “Sorry. I’m Derek. I was McCall’s - I mean, Scott’s commanding officer.” Which meant he was responsible for getting him killed. The pack would probably run him out of town within hours.

Stiles’ face eased and then filled with pain. He cleared his throat. “If it’s about his death, then I don't think she needs to hear it,” he said softly.

“It’s about something he asked me to do.” While Derek couldn’t stand in as the pack Alpha like McCall had asked, he _could_ take care of Allison, make sure she and the pups had whatever they needed until a new Alpha for the pack could be found. “I’ll try my best not to upset her.”

Stiles nodded, taking a deep breath. “Thank you.” He stood there in the silence that hung between them then ran a hand over his face. “I’m staying with her tonight and helping her with the pups. Lydia’s taking tomorrow. Um -” He rubbed the back of his neck. “If you want to get coffee or something I think I’d like the company.”

Coffee. It was such a mundane thing that Derek almost didn’t understand it. “I - yeah, we could do that.” He looked at Stiles for another moment before he said, “I’m staying at the Beacon Hills Inn.”

“Do you have a cellphone?” Stiles asked Derek. “Or have you not been stateside long enough to have one?”

“Yeah, I’ve got one.” And hopefully he could even find it in his gear. Derek waited for Stiles to get his own phone out before he supplied him with the number. “Is there anything you need for the pack? You know, for tonight?”

Stiles pushed his phone back into his pocket, shaking his head. “No one really wants to eat, so we don't need any food. And the pack is probably going to puppy pile in the living room tonight, maybe for days, so they’ll all be here. It’s just going to take time.”

Derek nodded, remembering how he and Laura had curled up together every night for months after the fire. It was as close to a puppy pile as they’d been able to get, but then they’d been dealing with the loss of the entire pack, rather than one member. Although he supposed he should let Stiles get back inside. “Let me know if there’s anything I can do.”

“I will,” Stiles said before disappearing back inside.

***

>   
> _Derek,_
> 
> _Oh my god you have to try this new recipe that I’ve come up with. I know, I know, I’m torturing you just by talking about delicious, amazing food that you can't have because I can't send you any and you can't get this stuff on base. I’m such a horrible person. I’ve sent you some pictures of it anyway. So you can imagine eating such wonderful things. I’d suggest feeding it to you, but you’d probably bite my fingers off. Ha!_
> 
> _Anyway, it’s a cake. A really yummy, delicious cake. It has three different kinds of chocolate in it. Milk,dark and white. Yeah, yeah - I know white chocolate isn’t really chocolate, but hey it’s just as good! I really need to find a way to start sending stuff to you. I bought this thing that comes with bags and like this… air thing where I can put it on and like suck the air out of it. It’s supposed to keep food fresh and depending on the kind of food and how it’s stored it can keep it fresh for months to years. I was looking at the instruction booklet and it says that cookies can stay fresh for 3-6 weeks. So I think I’m going to try and make you some cookies (and cookies for the whole platoon of course) to send to you. I’ll package yours separate. I hope you like chocolate chip cookies. I’ll send some oatmeal ones too just in case you don't._
> 
> _Later Alpha soldier dude._
> 
> _Stiles_

***

Derek put his rental car in park and turned to pick up the travel tray from the passenger seat. He didn’t know how Stiles liked his coffee, so he’d gotten several different choices, everything from a straight black coffee to a vanilla latte. Hopefully one of them was right.

Stiles was yawning as the door opened and smiled sleepily at Derek. “Wow, lots of coffee. Is there going to be a coffee shortage soon?” he asked, stepping aside to let Derek in, running a hand through his hair. Stiles’ hair was sticking up everywhere.

“I didn’t know how you like it,” Derek said, handing Stiles the tray as he stepped inside. “And I didn’t want to get you something you don’t drink. There’s, uh, black, a latte, a mocha, a frappuccino and a chai tea, so just pick whichever one you want.”

Stiles looked down at the coffee and kicked the door closed behind Derek. “How do you take your coffee?” he asked, walking over towards the kitchen to set the tray on the island there. “Or do you even drink coffee?”

Coffee really didn’t do anything for Derek, since the stimulants that humans were so reliant on wore off as soon as he drank them. “Sometimes, yeah.” He usually preferred tea or hot chocolate, but he didn’t say that just in case Stiles wanted the chai tea. “What about you?”

“I like coffee,” Stiles said as he started taking the tops off and smelling each of them. “It helps me calm down sometimes and helps me focus.” He put the lids back on and picked up the vanilla latte, taking a sip with an appreciative sound.

Coffee calmed him down? Derek was about to ask about that when he remembered that Stiles had mentioned being ADHD in one of his letters. That was probably part of it. He took the chai tea from the tray and looked at Stiles. It was strange - Stiles knew things about him he hadn’t ever shared with anyone outside the family, but they didn’t actually _know_ each other. “I’m sorry if I upset you yesterday.”

Stiles took another sip of his coffee and pulled up one of the stools closer to him to perch on and lean against the island. “You didn't upset me,” he said softly and rubbed his face. “I’m just - I’m worried about the pack and I have to make sure that they’re okay.”

Worried about the pack? Derek knew he was considered part of it, but most humans weren’t really involved in the inner workings. Derek would understand him worrying about Allison, but the whole pack was a bit much. “Most honorary members aren’t quite so... concerned,” he said lamely, inwardly wincing at how that sounded, like he thought Stiles would just shrug off the death of the pack’s Alpha. But he wasn’t dependant on it like the others were.

Stiles raised his brows and managed a small smile, a look of amusement on his face. “Honorary member, huh?” Stiles sipped his coffee again. “That’s what you think of me?” Stiles didn’t sound angry or upset.

Derek blinked at him. “Well, yeah. I mean, you said you were human.” And he knew Stiles had been McCall’s best friend since before he got the bite. So he’d naturally assumed that when McCall had formed his pack, he’d included his human friend rather than shut him out.

“Well, you’re looking at the last in a long line of emissaries,” Stiles said as he looked up at Derek. “You know, unless I decide to procreate,” he snorted. “So, not just an honorary member of the McCall pack.”

An emissary? That was a surprise. Not every pack had one of those, if only because the bloodlines that made for a good emissary were dying out. “That’s - you’re -” Derek couldn’t seem to think straight. Stiles was an emissary?!? Why wouldn’t he have mentioned it in his letters? “How long have you been... like that?”

“Since birth?” Stiles said with a smirk and sipped more of his coffee. “I got it from my mom’s side of the family. Scott got the bite while we were in high school and I’ve been his emissary since. The whole teenage werewolf and emissary thing was a little difficult, but we figured it out.”

Derek wasn’t really sure just what being an emissary entailed. He knew they helped negotiate terms for packs that were passing through another pack’s territory, and he knew there was more to it than that, but he’d never had a chance to learn more than that. Not that he’d ever expected to need it, since he wasn’t ever supposed to have been an Alpha. “I - wow, that’s -” He shook his head and took a drink of his tea. “Why didn’t you mention it?”

Stiles raised his shoulder. “Never got around to it,” he said honestly. “We always seemed to have more important things to write about. And it’s not like I ever really expected to lose Scott,” he added and looked down at his coffee. “He was my best friend…” Stiles was silent for a moment, then cleared his throat. “It’s my responsibility to take care of the pack now. I have to keep us together and protected. Once the neighboring packs realize we’re without an Alpha they’ll be fighting for this territory and trying to kill us all and I cant exactly be everywhere at once, you know, unless I go all darkside and channel the currents that run through this town.”

They wouldn’t kill all of them. Emissaries were too valuable to kill. Derek wasn’t sure if they could be turned to another pack, but he knew most Alphas would probably try. “No wonder McCall wanted me to -” He cut himself off just in time, but he had to admit that McCall’s insistence on getting his promise made a lot more sense now. “I’m really sorry,” he said instead. “I tried to get him back to the extraction point.”

Stiles nodded. “I know,” he said softly. “But I can't afford to think about that right now. The pack is mourning, but I can't. I have to make sure I keep them safe. They’re depending on me.” Stiles was quiet for a long moment. “And I need to talk to Allison about sending her and the pups away. Scott wouldn't want them in danger and this place will probably become a warzone in a couple of weeks.”

“You can’t send them away. They need their mother.” Especially now that their father was gone. How could Stiles even think of doing something like that? The pups couldn’t be much more than a few months old at most! And what was that supposed to mean, that Stiles couldn’t mourn with the pack? “If you’re part of the pack, you have a right to be at all their gatherings. You know that, right?”

“I know that, but if I let my grief get the best of me then we’ll be unprotected and weaker than we are just without an Alpha,” Stiles told Derek and sighed. “And Allison is a beta. She’s Scott’s mate… one of her pups may end up being an Alpha when they’re grown. It’s not safe for them here… Scott would want them safe.”

“Will you let me know where they are?” Derek asked after a brief silence. If he was going to watch over Allison and the pups, he needed to at least be able to find them.

Stiles nodded, sipping his coffee quietly. “When is your leave over? They gotta be wanting you back on duty soon…”

“Three days.” Derek had really only intended to use the one day for the funeral, but he needed to talk to Allison, to let her know that there was still someone she could turn to. He guessed he should probably tell Stiles that as well. “If the pack needs help... I mean, I know there’s no Alpha anymore, but there hasn’t been one here since McCall joined, and you were still okay, right?”

Stiles looked up at Derek. “Well, if you call a bunch of teenagers getting turned into werewolves and making their own pack okay, then yeah,” he said with a raise of his shoulder. “Omegas and other wolves used to come through here all the time when there wasn't an Alpha in the territory. I’d probably be safer if I didn't have a pack, but I’m not abandoning them for slaughter.”

“Teenagers,” Derek repeated, shaking his head. How the hell had they not gotten slaughtered years ago? Beacon Hills was special - Derek might not know all the reasons why, but he remembered his mother telling Laura that it would be her job to look after the territory once she was the Alpha. Of course, that wasn’t supposed to have happened for a long, long time. “You’ve been okay without an Alpha until now, though.”

“Scott’s managed to come back often though for leave, even if it’s only a day or two here and there,” Stiles pointed out. “Surrounding packs knew he was alive. Soon they’ll know he’s not.” He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “I don't expect you to understand. Scott said that none of the other Alpha’s had packs in your unit. And you’ll be gone in three days. It’s not really your concern and you can't really help us. It’s not like you’re going to become our Alpha… you’ve got a unit to command. We’re not your responsibility. I know you’re just here paying your respects.”

It was so seldom that any of the WEREs took pack leave that Derek had all but forgotten it existed. When the unit had first formed, a number of the members had packs, but then, in those days lone Alphas were killed or hounded out of every territory they visited. The same thing probably happened there, but now WEREs provided an alternative. He wondered why McCall had joined up, if he had a pack to think about. “What if you put the word out that you had a new Alpha? That would buy you some time, right?”

Stiles watched Derek quietly. “Are you offering?” he asked hesitantly. “I mean, it wouldn’t buy us much time since the surrounding packs would want to meet the new Alpha and try to negotiate territory, but it might buy us a few weeks.“ Stiles looked down at his coffee for a moment before his gaze returned to Derek. “Why would you even do that?”

Derek hadn’t meant _himself_ , but he didn’t know how to tell Stiles that. “McCall asked me to look after Allison and the pups.” Along with the rest of the pack, but if he did that, he might as well actually become their Alpha. And he had no idea how to do that. “Would that keep all of you - I mean, them, safe?”

“Not for long, but it might give us some time to try and figure out where to send Allison and the pups. Find somewhere safe for them with an Alpha that can take care of them. I have a couple of emissary friends back east that might take them into their pack.”

“And what about the rest of you?”

“I don't know. We haven't officially discussed it yet. It might be better for them to find a new Alpha, otherwise we’re just a pack of Omegas. But hey, finding a new pack is better than being slaughtered, right? But that’s a decision everyone is going to have to make on their own.”

Guilt nagged at Derek as he remembered McCall’s concern for his pack and family, how worried he’d been about all of them. And he’d wanted to entrust them to Derek, wanted him to actually be their Alpha. But then, he had no way of knowing that Derek hadn’t always been an Alpha. He sighed and took another drink of his tea, then mumbled, “He asked me to take the pack,” into the cup.

Stiles almost dumped his coffee, looking up at Derek from where he’d been so concentrated on the sugary goodness. “What?” Stiles stared in shock. “I, uh - what did you say to him?”

Derek shifted from one foot to the other, keeping his attention focused on the cup he was clutching with both hands. “I didn’t,” he admitted. “I - there wasn’t time to explain, so I just -” He’d let the man die believing that everyone he cared about would be safe. “I promised to look after Allison and the pups.”

“And how are you planning to do that?” Stiles sighed, standing up and pacing the kitchen. “You didn't even want to be an Alpha,” he said quietly, running both hands over his face. “You can't take care of them unless you assume that responsibility…”

“It’s more that I don’t know _how_ to be an Alpha.” And Derek wouldn’t have told anybody else that, but after the things Stiles already knew about him, Derek was sure he could figure that out. “I wasn’t - this was supposed to be Laura’s job.” He knew how to follow, but when it came to leading, all he knew how to do was lead men into battle and get them killed.

“Well she’s not here and neither is Scott,” Stiles said, pointing out the obvious. “And it’s not like Scott knew how to be an Alpha when he became one either. He learned. We all learned together how to be a pack. Scott didn't even know how to be a werewolf much less an Alpha. It’s not easy Derek and it probably never will be, but this is all that we have and I want to protect it for as long as I can. Even if it isn’t for long.” Stiles paused, watching Derek. “You can learn how to be the Alpha of a pack.”

“How does it work?” Derek asked. “Without the Alpha here.” He just couldn’t understand how a pack could function and thrive without its Alpha. “You said he made visits, but why wouldn’t the others attack when he was gone?”

Stiles sighed. “Alliances, treaties… on top of an Alpha’s mate and knowing that I’m the only emissary in the area allied to this pack. The only emissary period around here. They know better than to attack with the power of an Alpha at my side, but without one I have a target on my back. They’ll probably fight over me more than the territory when they get their resources together.”

“It sounds like you need the protection even more than the pack,” Derek said quietly. And he didn’t like the thought of that, of leaving Stiles behind for the wolves to fight over. “But I don’t have a mate. Even if I took the pack, it wouldn’t help you once I went back to my unit.”

Stiles leaned against the counter. “Maybe I can ask Erica to pretend to be your mate until we figure this thing out?” he suggested.

Derek sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. “I don’t think too many people would really buy that,” he muttered. Although it might be worth a shot. He hadn’t exactly been out when he lived in Beacon Hills. “The other Alphas... do you think they’d know who I am?” With his luck, he’d have fucked his way through one of their packs before he’d left.

Stiles snorted and shook his head. “Yeah. Pretty sure they’re going to remember a Hale. Especially an Alpha Hale. Even if you were born a beta. And why wouldn't they believe that? Erica can give a good performance and you won't even be here...”

Derek should probably just agree. Let Stiles provide him with a fake mate and go back to his unit while they ran things here. But if he took the pack, he’d be responsible for them for - well, always. “The first and only woman I slept with burned my family,” he reminded him. “If I ever found a real mate, they’d know it was fake.” And then Hell would descend on all of them.

“I’ll call a pack meeting in a couple of days,” Stiles settled on. “We’ll decide then what to do and hopefully Allison will agree to be sent away to safety… at least for a little while, anyway.” Stiles licked his lips and took another sip of his cooling coffee. “It’s okay… we’ll figure it out. We don’t really have any other choice, right?”

“Yeah, okay.” Derek finished his tea and looked at Stiles. “You’ll let me know if you need help? With the pack or... anything?”

“Yeah, sure. I guess I’ll see you in a couple of days when you come by to see Allison.”

“Yeah, guess so.” Derek had the feeling he should be saying more, doing more, but he didn’t know what else he could offer. If they didn’t want his help, then he should get back to his unit. “Will you let her know I’ll come by tomorrow afternoon?” He had to report back to base in two days or he’d have given her more time, but this was the best he could do.

“I’ll let her know,” Stiles nodded, already walking towards the door to let Derek out. “I guess if you want to continue writing after you go back to your unit I need to get your address…”

Derek gave him a puzzled look. “It’s the same as it always was. You just have to make it out to me instead of -” _Oh._ Stiles had always written to him in care of McCall, never directly. And McCall’s security code wouldn’t be active anymore. “It’s, uh, same address, just put Lieutenant Hale and TAH061702 on the envelope.”

“Right. I’ll do that.” Stiles opened the door and leaned against it. “See you around Alpha soldier dude,” he said with a smile.

***

> _Dear Stiles,_
> 
> _I don’t think I’ve had cake since my sister’s sixteenth birthday. (And just to let you know how old I am, that was almost ten years ago.) My favorite was always ice cream cake - mint chocolate chip with chocolate cake. I had one like that when I was somewhere around ten, I think. As you can guess, there aren’t many birthday parties or occasions for cake out here. Or bakeries to get them from, either._
> 
> _The cookies sound like a great idea. Thanks for thinking of us. The other platoons on base get mail from various school programs, but as you can imagine, it’s a little different for us. Probably because most of us don’t have pack or much family to write to - not that it’s not allowed, just kind of the way it is. Anyway, it’s kind of nice to get mail._
> 
> _And don’t call me Alpha soldier dude. You know my name now._
> 
> _Derek_


	3. Chapter 3

Stiles shoved Isaac back against the counter, glaring at him. “Stop fucking moving. I need to pack your wound.” He hissed as a pain flared in his own side and shoved up Isaac's shirt, grabbing the bowl he’d mixed the herbs in and started patching up Isaac, then wrapped his midsection. “There… it should start healing.”

“Thanks.” Isaac put a hand down against his wound, wincing at the flash of pain that sliced through him. “But next time when I say run, you need to fucking run, not stand there and play human lightning rod.”

“I wasn't going to leave you to a whole pack of wolves,” Stiles said and gripped his side. Every breath that he took was fucking _painful_. He’d managed to avoid claws to his stomach, but he was pretty sure that he’d broken a few ribs since he couldn't breathe comfortably. Then there was the gash on his thigh. “I think I fried them enough that it’ll take them a while before they come back.”

Isaac just gave him a look that said he knew exactly what Stiles was trying to do, and it wasn’t working. “But when they come back, they’ll have reinforcements.” He was about to add more when the bell out front rang. “Shit.”

Stiles grabbed Isaac’s shoulder, biting back a pained sound and couldn't do more than pant for several seconds. “Thankfully the front is made of Rowan. Fuckers can't get in,” he reminded Isaac and squeezed his eyes shut. “I need to go see Melissa soon.” He needed to at least make sure that his ribs hadn't punctured his lung. He took a deep, painful breath and steeled his features before walking out of the back room to meet their visitor. “You should leave.” All his senses were screaming _werewolf_.

“Now why would I want to do that?” his visitor asked. He was tall, young and good-looking, and from the smirk he gave Stiles, he was well aware of it. “You know, they said you were powerful, but they forgot to tell me just how pretty you are.”

Stiles snorted. “Really? That’s the best you got?” It caused his side to twinge, but he managed not to let it show in his face. “If you don't leave you’re going to get your little werewolf ass fried just like your buddies tonight. And it’s going to take them weeks to heal from those burns, if not longer.”

“Those weren’t my buddies.” The stranger sauntered over to the counter, leaning on it as he smiled at Stiles. “I have completely different plans for you. My name’s Tyler, by the way.”

Stiles narrowed his eyes at Tyler and there was no way he’d ever be able to trust someone trying to take over their territory. “I really don't care what your name is. You need to leave my shop before I make you.” He wasn't sure he had enough energy left to follow through with his threat, but he was hoping his bluff wasn't called.

“You don’t wanna do that. We’re gonna be good friends.” Tyler looked him over, his interest obvious. “ _Very_ good friends. Why don’t you at least hear me out? You never know - you might like hearing what I have to say.”

Simply breathing was causing Stiles to be in _pain_. Talking was worse. He gave Tyler a look, considering what he was saying if it meant he didn't have to keep talking and could conserve what consciousness he had left. “I’m listening.” After all, the only ones left were he and Isaac from the pack. His dad and Melissa could stay free of all this.

“Why don’t we sit down?” Tyler suggested. “Share some coffee, maybe a piece of cake or something... c’mon, give me a chance. I’m worth it, I promise.” Tyler gave Stiles another long, slow look. “Unless you have something against interspecies relationships, that is.”

Stiles was growing impatient and annoyed, tempted to use the last of his energy to put the wolf down for a good few weeks. “I’m giving you a chance to present your case, not waste your words or my time. So get to it before I change my mind.”

“Direct. I admire that.” Tyler chuckled softly. “Okay, then, it’s like this - you’re hot, I’m single, and I hear you’re looking for an Alpha. I don’t have a pack of my own yet, but I’d like to start building one - with you as my emissary. And maybe more.”

Stiles had to admit, that sounded pretty damn good to him right about now. He and Isaac were getting their asses kicked and Stiles was exhausted from keeping them safe; From fighting almost every day for the past two weeks. “Other than your Alpha status, what can you offer me and mine? You’re the one that’s going to be gaining from this alliance if I agree to it and I don't trust easy.” Plus, he only had one werewolf in his corner and that wasn't much of a pack. They knew from experience.

“Well, I make a mean latte, I can kick ass like nobody’s business, and I have some pretty decent connections that could help the pack.” Tyler smirked at Stiles again. “And I’m a demon in bed.”

The last thing that Stiles and the pain in his side were thinking about was sex. And any mention of it wasn't a draw like he was sure the werewolf was intending it to be. On any other occasion he’d probably jump right in bed with him, but right now his brain couldn't think past more than _pain_. “If you have decent connections why don't you have yourself a pack already?”

“My connections aren’t exactly in the werewolf community,” Tyler admitted. “They kick ass, and I’ve seen Damon take on a hybrid without blinking, but some of the wolf packs have been a little bit... close-minded when it comes to other... non-humans.”

Given Stiles’ rag-tag pack, that definitely wasn't them. Werewolves, hunters, humans and a banshee weren't exactly a typical pack. Then again, they weren't a pack anymore. The pain was blinding with each breath and Stiles had to lean against the counter, his breath coming short and fast as he tried to get enough oxygen through the pain in his side. “If you’re really not a threat, maybe we can talk about this when we’re not recovering from an attack,” he suggested, trying to catch his breath.

Tyler frowned then drew in a sharp breath when he saw Stiles shift and wince. “Shit, you’re hurt? Here, why don’t you let me help you with that.” He raised his hand to his mouth, eyes glowing bright gold as he shifted and bit into the heel of his hand, then extended his cupped palm to Stiles, offering the blood that pooled in it. “Here.”

Stiles looked Tyler over, from his eyes and features to the blood he was offering. He held his side, leaning more against the counter. “I can't take that,” he gritted out. “I know you’re offering healing, but it means something different to share something like that to my pack.” Bites and claiming and blood and bonding… Stiles couldn't take what was being offered from Tyler, even if it was only healing in his eyes.

“It’s fine,” Tyler assured him. “It’ll heal you right up. Just make sure you don’t die until it’s out of your system.” Then Tyler frowned. “Unless emissaries can’t be turned. I could try compelling you and see.”

Yeah, right, like Stiles was falling for _that_. “Where do you think the first wolves learned how to shift?” he said with a painful grin and then breathed deeply. “I just need to get to the hospital. Isaac can make sure I get there. I don't think we’re going to be attacked within the next hour.”

Tyler raised his hand and licked the blood up, then held his hand up to show how quickly he healed. “How about I take you both somewhere safe so you can get treated? And then maybe we can talk about that date when you’re better.”

“Gimme a minute,” Stiles said and turned, walking back into the back and almost collapsing against Isaac. The pain was worse. He wondered if he’d managed to puncture an internal organ with broken ribs. “What do you think?” he asked Isaac, clutching his shoulder to keep himself up. He knew he’d heard everything.

“I’m not the one who’s gonna have to fuck him,” Isaac pointed out, automatically taking Stiles’ pain without needing to be asked. “I think it’s more a question of what you think. It might be worth considering. I mean… we need to do something.”

Stiles breathed easier when his pain started to ease up, leaving it a dull throb in his side rather than the sharp pain it had been before. “Well, he’s not ugly,” Stiles tried to joke. At least he would be fucking an attractive person. “How are your wounds?” he asked, trying not to lean into Isaac like he wanted to for support.

“Healing faster than yours.” The pack had tried their best to take Isaac down and gut him, but thanks to Stiles, they’d both escaped with their lives. Isaac looked nervously towards the door that led to the shop. “Is he gone?”

Stiles was quiet as he listened, but with non-supernatural hearing, he couldn't tell. “I don't know… when I came back here he was still out there…” He listened again. “Do you hear anything?”

Isaac listened for a moment. “He’s still there,” he said. “I can hear his heartbeat.” Then he looked at the back door. “You want to go out that way?”

“I’d really prefer it if you just said no if you aren’t interested,” Tyler called out.

Stiles made a face at their not-so-private conversation. “If you don't want to go, I understand,” he told Isaac. “You can go out the back.” But if they were going to have any chance at surviving at all, Stiles knew he should consider the offer they were being presented with.

“I didn’t fight the other wolves to leave you with a strange Alpha.” Isaac shook his head. “If you’re not leaving, I’m not leaving. Unless you two decide to do the sex thing, cause that would just be weird.”

“We’re not doing the sex,” Stiles said and gave Isaac a look. “Injured, for one. Right now sex would probably kill me faster than a pack of wolves,” he sighed and ran a hand over his face. “Come on. The least he can do is drive us to the hospital.” Or drop him off near his apartment so he could find something to start the healing process with. Stiles pushed himself against Isaac’s shoulder, trying to stand straight and started for the door again.

***

> _Derek,_
> 
> _So I was thinking since I finally figured out how all this vacuumed pack stuff works that I could send you some actual food when you’re stateside again. I know I don't have your direct address, but I can always send it to Scott and he can get it to you. I make a mean lasagna and I could make more cookies and maybe even some of that cake. I’d have to find a way to pack it on ice to send it and it wouldn't get to you if you’re out in the field, but it would make it to overnight to the base. Then again, I know military mail is notorious for getting lost and showing up three months later. It might be bad by then since it would need to be refrigerated, but at least it wouldn't stink or evolve if it’s packed airtight._
> 
> _I don't know man, it might be kinda risky. Risky like a special ops food mission. But I’ve heard eating in the chow hall can be pretty nasty too. Scott says that they don't always cook the food and that whenever he gets chicken it’s either burnt or too raw to eat. Not that it would hurt a werewolf stomach, but he said rumour was the chow hall didn't pass health inspection codes. Which blows. No wonder he buys food out all the time and doesn't eat on base. That fucking sucks though that they force you guys to pay for the chow hall anyway when you don't use it._
> 
> _Oh, I’m sending you more pictures. How do you like the way these donuts look? What about this pie? They’re new recipes that I’m trying out. I’m also sending another picture of me, not any cleaner than the last since I’m always working in the bakery. Here’s some of the pack, too. I thought you might like knowing what this rag-tag team looks like since I’m sure Scott talks about us all the time._
> 
> _Can't wait to get another letter from you. Hope you’re okay Alpha soldier dude._
> 
> _Stiles_

***

Stiles paced back and forth in his living room with a sigh, running a hand over his face as he thought about what he was about to do. He picked up his cell phone and clicked on Derek’s name, pushing the phone to his ear and waited. It had been a couple of days since the last attack and thankfully he was healed by now with the help of a hybrid blood injection and the herbs that he’d put together for both him and Isaac to help the healing process. Stiles was exhausted, felt drained of energy, but he wasn't sure he could continue to do this much longer. He needed to accept an Alpha soon or get Isaac to safety before they both died.

“Yeah?”

“Hey,” Stiles said quietly, as if someone might be listening in. “It’s Stiles.”

“Stiles?” Derek asked blankly before his sleepy brain kicked into gear. Groaning, he pushed himself upright in bed and ran a hand over his face. “What’s wrong?”

Stiles’ stomach sank at the tone of Derek’s voice, like he was interrupting him, or worse, annoying him. “I can call back later. Or you can call me when you have time.”

“No, ‘s okay.” Derek yawned. “I was just - we just got in. Is something wrong?”

Stiles sighed. “Not at the moment,” he said with a shrug, even if Derek couldn't see him. “Um, I was just calling to see if you accepted betas into the WEREs.”

“I dunno. I guess I can check if you want. Why, you thinking about joining up?” Derek teased groggily.

Stiles took a deep breath. “No, for Isaac,” he said and ran a hand over his face. “He’s kinda the last one here and I think it’s best for him to leave, but he doesn't have any family or anywhere to go. If he stays here -”

“What about you?” Derek interrupted. “You can’t stay there without someone to protect you.”

Stiles paced the living room, needing to move despite his exhaustion. “Well, I need to take a new Alpha soon. I’m not sure how much longer I can avoid it and there’s not much pack left for me to protect. If you take Isaac, I won't have any left.”

Derek frowned. “What will you do then? I mean… have you found a new Alpha?”

“Not yet, but there’s plenty to choose from. There’s a new guy, Tyler, that’s been hanging around and then there’s Deucalion.”

“Deucalion,” Derek said flatly. Derek checked his watch and did his best to think past the cotton wool surrounding his brain. “Look, just... I’ll be there before nightfall tomorrow, okay?”

“Yeah, okay. I’ll let Isaac know. See you soon Alpha soldier dude.” Stiles knew he couldn't hide the smile in his voice.

***

> _Dear Stiles,_
> 
> _You realize McCall’s pulling your leg, right? The mess hall isn’t nearly as bad as he’s making it sound. He’s probably just trying to make you feel guilty for eating whatever you want so you send more cookies. And if that’s the case, then the mess hall food is disgusting and I’m relying on those chocolate chip cookies to keep me alive._
> 
> _They really were very good. I had to hide them in my foot locker to keep Ethan from getting into them. Nobody goes into anyone else’s foot locker. Those are sacrosanct. Makes me wish I’d had something like that when I was growing up. My sisters were always raiding my room - one of them even took over my closet to make herself a reading space! The trials of being the only boy in the family, I guess._
> 
> _The donuts look great. Are they cinnamon sugar? Did your mom teach you how to make those along with cakes and cookies and everything else? I know mine tried to teach me so I wouldn’t starve when I was out on my own, and I can grill a steak and make a baked potato, but anything else is beyond me._
> 
> _Enough with the Alpha soldier dude thing._
> 
> _Derek_

***

Stiles made sure to ward the apartment to mask his and Isaac’s scents so the wolves couldn't find Isaac while he was gone. It still didn't keep him from worrying about Isaac as he sat his his Jeep parked at the curb at the airport. Derek had given him his pickup gate and Stiles checked his phone to see if he’d gotten any texts for gate changes. He hadn't. “Come on, come on,” he whispered to himself, worried that Derek might’ve gotten approached by another werewolf. With everything that was going on right now, Stiles wouldn't put it past Deucalion or any other local pack warring for this territory. Hell, Stiles wasn't sure he was safe sitting here in his Jeep. He punched Derek’s name and shoved his phone to his ear. When he picked up, Stiles asked, “Hey, where are you?”

“I’m about five minutes away from your apartment. Actually, make that three minutes, if traffic cooperates.”

Stiles banged his head on the steering wheel. “I’m sitting at the airport waiting for you. Why didn't you tell me that you got an earlier flight before, like, now?” he asked and checked his mirrors before pulling off the curb so he could head back to the apartment.

“There wasn’t time and I wasn’t sure I could make the flight until I was actually on it. Why would you - it’s not safe for you to be out if you have someone trying to get to you.”

“It’s not safe for me anywhere,” Stiles pointed out and put his phone on speaker before sticking it to the dash. “And try not to freak Isaac out when you get to my building. He’s a little on edge and he’s there by himself.” He sighed. “I’ll be there in thirty minutes. Do you want to breathe on the phone with me while I drive?”

“I’d rather you had all your concentration on the road so you get here in one piece. I’ll see you in a little while. Call me if you run into any trouble, all right?”

“Well, if I run into any trouble I’m sure I won't be able to call. I don't think they’ll let me keep my phone,” Stiles said sarcastically. “But Isaac will know. He’ll be able to feel it.” Stiles drummed on the wheel nervously. “I’ll see you soon.” Without waiting for Derek’s reply, Stiles disconnected.

~

It wasn’t long before Derek pulled up in front of Stiles’ apartment building. He put the car in park and got out, leaving his bag for later. Before he so much as stepped onto the walkway, he glanced around, then announced, “Isaac, it’s Derek. From WEREs. I’m here to help.” And who’d have thought he’d have ever spent this long reassuring a Beta that wasn’t his? He shook his head at the things he did for a few cookies then started up the walk, but he never reached the building.


	4. Chapter 4

Stiles parked his Jeep and hopped out, twirling his keys on a finger before gripping them in his fist. He knew he’d left a scent trail all the way from the airport and he wouldn't be surprised if he’d been followed on the way back to his apartment. Stiles stopped when he turned towards his building and tried his best not to laugh. “Well… I guess I forgot to mention not to get too close to the building,” he said as he started up the walk. “How long have you been stuck here?” he asked Derek, walking past him and up to the building where he laid his hand against the brick to release him.

One second Derek was held immobile by the very air itself and the next it was all gone, leaving Derek stumbling forward. “What the hell?!?” Derek glared at Stiles. “You couldn’t bother to tell me you warded the fucking place?”

“It slipped my mind! Plus, I figured your Alpha werewolf senses would pick up on it. Sorry,” he said, holding up his hand, palm out towards Derek. “I thought I was going to be picking you up from the airport. I didn't want to leave Isaac here defenseless.”

“Werewolves can’t sense magic,” Derek muttered. “I thought you’d know that.”

“I said I was an emissary, I didn't say I was an expert. It’s not like I had a mother to teach me the ropes growing up. Or a mentor.” Stiles shrugged, opening his apartment door. “You coming in?”

As soon as they were inside Derek looked at Stiles, surprised. “You masked your scent. Do you do this every time you go out?”

“Yeah, but it takes a lot out of me to keep it up all the time.” Stiles closed the door and placed his hand over it, saying a few words and the ward was reactivated. “But it helps keep our location safe. They might be able to smell us around the area but won't be able to track us specifically back to the building or my apartment. At least not by scent.”

“Smart,” Derek said, glancing around. “So you both live here now?”

“Stiles didn’t think it was a good idea for me to live alone after everyone else left,” Isaac said as he walked into the room.

“If there’s an attack it’s easier to protect each other when we’re both here.” Stiles threw himself onto the couch and sighed, relaxing into it. He knew that he shouldn't let his guard down, shouldn't let himself get comfortable, but Derek was here and Derek was an Alpha, one that Stiles trusted despite how little they really knew about each other. “I think I could hibernate for a year,” Stiles mumbled, kicking off his shoes. “When do you have to go back to base?”

Derek looked uncomfortable. “I took emergency pack leave, so it’s, uh, it’s open-ended.”

“But you’re not pack,” Isaac pointed out. “How’d you get that if you aren’t pack? And why would you want to help us, anyway?”

“Because I called him and asked him to.” Even though Stiles had really called to ask about the WEREs taking Isaac. Stiles pulled his legs up so Derek would have room to sit on the couch. “Did you get a chance to ask about what I called you for?”

“There wasn’t much time to ask about anything once I got the leave lined up.” Derek glanced at Isaac then looked back at Stiles. “But I’m still not sure that’s the right answer. How do you know it would work? And it doesn’t help you with your Alpha problem.”

“The only thing that’s going to help us with our Alpha problem is getting a new Alpha,” Stiles pointed out, pushing a pillow under his head. “And between Deucalion and Tyler, I think I’m leaning a little more towards Tyler. I mean… if you ignore the fact that his pack consists of vampires and that I probably have to sleep with him, it’s still a lot better than Deucalion…”

“You didn’t say you had an Alpha courting you for his mate,” Derek growled, glaring at Stiles.

“I didn't say that he was courting me for his mate. I said sleep with, as in fucking. There was no mating talk involved.” At least not yet. And Stiles wouldn't even consider being mated to Tyler. It wasn't something he wanted with the werewolf.

Isaac smirked at Stiles. “I still say you should try him out and see what he’s like.”

“Alphas don’t just fuck emissaries,” Derek informed both of them. “And any Alpha that thinks they do isn’t one you should even consider. If you’re going to take a werewolf for a mate, you should insist they court you properly.” Derek turned a hard look on Isaac. “And _you_ should be reminding him of that.”

Stiles toed his socks off, kicking one at Derek to get his attention. “Come sit down before the two of you wreck my apartment. No fighting in here or I’ll trap both of you.” He pulled his legs up more to make room for Derek on the couch. Stiles sighed. “Another option we have is joining up with a pack out in Louisiana, but I didn't really want to leave my Dad and Melissa behind. I was hoping we could claim Beacon Hills and have the pack return at some point if they want to.” Stiles raised his shoulder. “Or we can flee.” He scrunched up his face at that idea.

“I still think you shouldn’t have sent Allison and the others away,” Isaac said.

“He was doing his best to keep them safe,” Derek chided quietly, going to sit down in the vacant spot on the couch. “This Tyler... what’s he like?”

Once Derek was settled, Stiles stretched out and placed his feet in Derek’s lap, careful not to kick him in the crotch as he got comfortable. “Well,” Stiles started. “He’s young, cocky and he’s from the Mikaelson born bloodline. Doesn't have a wolf to his name, but he’s got several vampires that are looking to relocate with him. And he obviously wants my ass. He’s made that pretty clear.”

“And what about you? Does he give a damn what you want or is he expecting you to just roll over for him?”

“I don't think he cares about what I want, not really,” Stiles said and wiggled his feet between Derek’s thighs, pressing his toes under one of Derek’s legs to warm them up. “And if he thinks I’m just gonna mate with him and give him some pups to carry on my big neon blinking EMISSARY sign, he’s wrong,” he added. “Not happening.”

“You can’t have pups…” Derek’s eyes shifted between red and green as he stared at Stiles, confused.

“I’m just gonna... go,” Isaac mumbled and hurried off to his room.

Derek looked back at Stiles. “Oh yes, he’ll be a wonderful fit for the WEREs unit,” he said sarcastically.

“Stop. Don't be mean,” Stiles said and wiggled his toes more under Derek’s thigh. “He’s… sensitive sometimes. Isaac had it pretty rough growing up until he joined our pack.” But he was loyal and Stiles knew without Isaac here he’d probably be dead, captured or out on the road somewhere. After a few minutes he sighed again and looked back at Derek. “And yes, I can have pups. But only with an Alpha and only if I want to. It’s an emissary thing. An option to carry on our bloodline and since I’m not really on the attracted-to-females-sexually train it’s either that or knocking some chick up in a lab.”

Derek frowned then shook his head. “I don’t understand. How did you find out - you said you didn’t have a mentor, so how do you know about the pups?” Derek paused. “Did you and Scott -”

That made Stiles laugh. “Uh, no. Scott and I never - no.” He shook his head and smiled at the thought of his best friend. “We talked about it, though. About doing it through artificial insemination. I hadn't really made up my mind about all of that when -” He shook his head again. “And I didn't really have a mentor, but I have my mom’s books and those friends I mentioned back east. One of them is Alan Deaton. He used to be an emissary here when my mom was alive. Allison is with him now.”

“Deaton,” Derek repeated. “The veterinarian?” When Stiles nodded, Derek said, “He was our emissary.”

“He moved back east to be with his sister not too long after my mom’s death, but I got into contact with him about a year after I became Scott’s emissary. He’s good people.”

“Yeah, he is. Is it his pack that you were thinking of joining if you left?”

“No,” Stiles said softly. “And there wouldn't really be a point of me joining a pack that already has an emissary. Plus, his sister is an emissary to a pack in the same area. I think they’ve got it covered there.” And the last thing Stiles wanted to be was a third-wheel-emissary. “The pack down in Louisiana is run by a girl named Hayley Marshall, but they’ve got a lot of witches down there so I’m not sure how that’ll work out.” Stiles pulled one of his feet out from under Derek’s thigh since his toes were getting hot.

“Witches aren’t usually very friendly with werewolves. But you said you wanted to stay here. Why’d you send most of the pack away?”

“I didn't,” Stiles said honestly and shrugged. “I sent Allison away with the pups to Deaton and Lydia and Jackson decided they wanted to leave with her. Erica and Boyd left. They went to find another pack. Isaac decided to stay with me. The only ones I sent away were Allison and the pups.”

“Maybe we should see if _you_ can join WEREs,” Derek joked. “We could use an emissary.”

Stiles snorted at that. “The likelihood of them accepting me are about as good as they are of you staying here in Beacon Hills as my Alpha. I doubt that’ll happen.” Stiles stretched out a little more, his foot brushing up against Derek’s hand as he did.

Derek’s fingers curled over Stiles’ foot, closing on his arch. “You said you didn’t want me taking the pack,” he reminded Stiles quietly. “When I told you what McCall asked, you said not to bother.”

“Because you didn't want to, Derek. And you were leaving in two days. How were we supposed to work anything out in two days? You didn't even want to fake-mate Erica or someone else. I didn't say I didn't want you as _my_ Alpha, but I really don't want to feel like a charity case pack that you don't want responsibility of. But two people isn’t really a pack.”

“I couldn’t pretend to mate Erica because she’s a girl.”

“So, what - if I would’ve said ‘hey Derek, be my fake-mate’ you would’ve jumped on board with that?”

“It would be more plausible than me being mated to Erica,” Derek muttered.

Stiles just stared at Derek, laying there quietly and curling his foot into Derek’s touch. “So you like guys then?”

“Yeah, I guess. In bed, at least.” Derek kneaded Stiles’ food absently then looked up at him. “Why? Does it matter?”

“It doesn't,” Stiles assured Derek. Stiles had already mentioned that he liked guys, so that was out there. “You just said you couldn't be mated to a woman so -” he shrugged. “I figured it wouldn't hurt to ask.”

Derek raised one eyebrow. “Is this you fake-proposing? And here I thought it was the Alpha that was supposed to do the courting.”

Stiles got _red_. He hadn't blushed like that in so long, but it probably didn't help that Derek still had his foot in his hand and Stiles had never really hidden his attraction to Derek, or expressed it forwardly. “Uh -” It took him several more seconds to settle on what to say. “I guess if you’re willing to be fake-mated to me. Does this mean you’re going to take more pack leave to come back often?”

Derek nodded. “Should probably make sure Isaac’s okay with that plan.”

“I’ll talk to him, but I’m pretty sure if I trust you that he’ll trust you too. It might just take him some time to warm up to you. He’s like that with everyone at first.”

Derek looked up at Stiles. “You trust me?” he asked, hardly able to believe it.

Stiles nodded. “Yeah, I do. Not to sound cliché or anything, but I get good vibes from you, so it helps.”

“Thank you,” Derek finally said, then cleared his throat. “So, uh, what’s next?”

Stiles grinned. “Well, I was gonna suggest we try making out a little, for appearance sake,” he joked. “But I think taking a run through the preserve later and leaving your scent at the perimeter would work. Along with one of those Alpha howls of yours. I’m sure Tyler will try to come by the bakery later and I’ll let him know then that you’re my Alpha.”

“I can do that. Scent and sound will be strong indicators that there is a new Alpha in town. Do you think you could call the others? If the whole pack is here, it’ll make it easier to hold on to things when I’m not here.”

“I’ll call them. Maybe Lydia and Jackson will come back and when things are settled and safe Allison and the pups can come back too.” Stiles wasn't sure if Erica and Boyd would come back, but Stiles would call them anyway because they needed bodies even though he felt betrayed that they’d left.

“I was going to get a hotel room, but maybe I should stay here instead,” Derek suggested. “You know, make sure my scent has a chance to soak in here. But I can sleep on the couch - if that’s okay with you.”

“Yeah, that sounds good,” Stiles agreed. “I guess I can take off the wards later once you stake your claim on the territory…” Stiles thought about making a joke about Derek sharing his bed instead of the couch, but it fell short since his earlier joke about making out had been ignored. “You said your leave was open ended… do you have a date in mind to leave or were you sticking around for a while?”

“I don’t know. It’s emergency pack leave, so I can’t stay all that long, but if I explain that the pack’s territory is under threat, probably a week or two.”

“Well, you can stay as long as you want,” Stiles assured Derek. “Or, well - I guess as long as you can. If you want I can sleep on the couch and you can sleep in my bed.”

Derek shook his head. “I’m not going to put you out of your bed. Besides, it’s been so long since I had more than a bunk that I don’t think I’d know how to sleep on an actual bed.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Stiles said and looked at the couch they were both still on. “The couch is probably bigger than your bunk.” He smiled at that thought and pressed his foot into Derek’s hand more when Derek stopped rubbing it, enjoying Derek’s touch. “I’ll make sure to get you some pillows and blankets for tonight.”

“Thanks.” Derek patted the couch with his free hand. “Feels softer than my bunk, that’s for sure.”

“I can get up if you need to take a nap,” Stiles said, already starting to sit up. “You gotta be tired from your trip, especially on such short notice.”

“I’m fine,” Derek said, then immediately yawned. “Sorry. We just got back when you called.”

“It’s okay,” Stiles said with a smile and reluctantly pulled his foot away. “I’ll go get you a pillow and a blanket so you can lay down.” Stiles managed to get off the couch without falling on his face or onto Derek in the process. He reached out to brush his fingers over Derek’s shoulder, carefully touching the base of his neck as he passed by. “Be right back.”

“Thanks.” Derek ended up falling asleep before Stiles ever got back. He never felt the hands that guided him down onto the couch and removed his boots, then covered him with a blanket.  
  


***

 

> _Derek,_
> 
> _I’m glad you liked the cookies. I’m sending more with this package so everyone can have their own and won't try to raid your own personal stash of goodies that I send you. Oh, Scott also hinted that you guys were going to be stateside soon so by the time you get this package you should be on base. If you’re not, I’m sorry, because I totally cooked some lasagna and packed other perishable foods in a cooler with this letter. You should have a few good meals in here. It’s up to you if you want to share them. They’re in vacuum packed bags so if they look bad by the time you get this you can just throw them out. Maybe I can cook for you when you’re on leave? I’m not sure if you get that often or at all, but I know Scott does every now and then._
> 
> _It sounds like you and your sisters had a lot of fun times when you guys were growing up. I don't have any siblings, well, unless you count Scott. He’s like a brother to me. We met when we were four and I pissed on his sand castle because he was building it in my area. Apparently I decided piss could wash away a sand castle since there wasn't an ocean to wash it away in the playground sandbox. So how old are your sisters? Do you get to see your family a lot? I’m guessing when you take leave you go to see them. That’s nice._
> 
> _Oh and the donuts. Yes they are cinnamon sugar. I put a couple in the box too so you can try them out. I’m not sure how they’re gonna taste packed in a bag since I’ve only ate them fresh so you’ll have to let me know. My mom taught me everything I know about baking. I mean, yeah, sure, I’ve had to learn some more stuff along the way but she basically taught me everything I need to know to get started. Including how to make donuts. But a steak and a baked potato sound good right about now. How about you make me a steak and baked potato sometime?_
> 
> _Later Alpha soldier dude!_
> 
> _Stiles_

 

***

Derek woke slowly, vaguely aware of faint music and someone singing along with it. There was something else, too, a smell that reminded him just how long it had been since he’d had anything but MRIs and jerky. He and sniffed as he sat up, blinking sleepily at the man that was moving around the kitchen, quite obviously lost in his own world. “Stiles?”

Stiles was cooking a feast for breakfast, singing along to a song on Pandora and shaking his butt as he cooked. He flipped a pancake and squished it in the pan before he mixed up the eggs to scramble them, then turned the bacon. It wasn't until his name was called a second time that he heard it and he glanced over his shoulder to the couch. “Oh. Hey. Sorry… you want some breakfast?”

Derek’s stomach growled in answer. “Yeah, if there’s enough for two.” He rubbed his eyes and stood up to stretch. “Can’t believe I slept all night like that.”

“Well I’m used to cooking for a pack and Isaac could eat a horse so there’s enough for probably three werewolves here,” Stiles said and smiled, wiggling his butt as he danced to the song on his Pandora station and humming. “And, uh, you slept like two days dude.”

“I never sleep that long,” Derek protested. He yawned and scratched his stomach, and if he checked out Stiles’ ass, he really couldn’t be blamed. It was a nice ass, especially in those thin cotton pants he was wearing, and it was moving all around just begging to be noticed. Like a puppy, really, trying to get attention that Derek would’ve been very happy to offer if the ass wasn’t attached to someone he’d promised to protect. “I meant to tell you that I can help out with groceries,” he said as he wandered over to stand in the doorway of the kitchen.

Stiles nodded, taking a plate and filling it up for Derek with pancakes and handed it to him. “Yeah, okay. Feeding werewolves is expensive,” he smiled and then got another plate to put bacon, sausage and hashbrowns on it before handing that over to Derek too. “Isaac sleeps late so we’ll probably be done eating by the time he crawls out of bed.”

“Yeah, okay.” Derek barely heard him, too engrossed in staring at the plates heaped with food that looked infinitely better than anything he’d ever gotten from the chow line. He carried both over to the table and sat down, filching a sausage before Stiles could bring a fork over. And oh dear God! He moaned at the heavenly taste of meat and grease and fat. It was absolutely amazing, a true feast for the senses.

“How long has it been since you had a sausage?” Stiles asked, coming over to the table with his own plate and two forks, setting one down next to Derek. He went back to get glasses and opened the fridge. “Milk or orange juice?”

“Either’s fine.” Derek snatched up a piece of bacon, moaning again as he discovered that it was even better than the sausage. “We have breakfast at the chow hall and they have sausage and bacon, but it’s not like this,” he explained when he saw Stiles gaping at him. Not cooked perfectly, juicy and plump, still glistening with grease. Sausage in the chow hall was a charred log of maybe-meat and bacon a plank of the same in comparison to this.

“Burnt or raw. I remember,” Stiles said and shook his head as he poured them orange juice. He set a glass in front of Derek and sat down, digging into his eggs. “Don't choke on a sausage,” Stiles said with a chuckle and scooped more eggs into his mouth.

“I won’t,” Derek assured Stiles, although the words were scarcely intelligible around the two sausages he had in his mouth. God, when had food gotten so fucking _good?_!? The pancakes were a revelation as well - light and fluffy instead of rubbery and tasteless. Derek thought he understood now why McCall used to complain about the mess hall food. If he was used to food like this... “Why did McCall join up?” Derek asked, once he’d swallowed the food in his mouth and washed it down with a glass of heaven.

Stiles glanced up at Derek, poking at his food. “Well, you know Scott, anything to serve his country. He’s all with the patriotic thing. I think his dad used to be in the military, but we never talked about him much.” Stiles shrugged. “Plus it’s a good way to get an education and Allison and the pups would be covered for medical and stuff.”

“What did you think about it?” Derek asked quietly, taking another bite of bacon. “His joining up and leaving you to take care of everyone like that.”

Stiles raised his shoulder and ate some of his hash browns. “Well… I thought it was kinda crappy, but I understand. I mean, yeah, sure, he’s got a pack, but more importantly he had a wife and they were going to have a family so I think that takes a little priority than the whole pack. He wanted to make sure they were okay.”

“Why aren’t you at the bakery?” Derek asked abruptly. “You didn’t close it after McCall died, did you?”

“No, I didn't close it, but I mean - with everything that’s been going on we haven't really been able to open every day. It’s just Isaac and I and on top of the attacks we’ve just been too exhausted to keep up with it.”

“You should hire some help.” Derek finished off another pancake and started back in on the sausage again, small moans slipping out occasionally as he ate. “This is amazing.” He’d known Stiles was a good cook - all the WEREs did, thanks to his frequent packages, but the cookies and cake he’d sent didn’t even begin to compare to what this was like. “Gonna have to be careful or I’ll get fat before it’s time to leave,” Derek muttered around another piece of bacon.

“You won't get fat,” Stiles laughed. “Your metabolism is too fast for you to ever be fat. Amazing werewolf genetics,” he teased and smiled at Derek, eating more of his own food. “And if you’re going to be around for a while, maybe you can help out while everything settles down?”

Derek wasn’t sure exactly how much help he’d be in a bakery, since he’d never even managed to successfully bake those premade cookies Laura used to buy, but he nodded all the same. Maybe he could run the cash register or something. “Yeah, I can try.”

“Awesome. Maybe we can go down in a couple of days?” Stiles put his sausage onto Derek’s plate before reaching for some ketchup to drown his hashbrowns in. “Still haven't done that perimeter run or announcement about you being the new Alpha in town. Tyler’s been hounding me since you’ve been out cold. I haven't really ventured out.”

Derek’s fork clattered onto his plate. “He’s been here?” He probably shouldn’t be quite so upset by that thought, since this wasn’t really his home, but it was where he was staying, and Stiles was his mate, even if it was only pretend. And Derek didn’t like the thought of some rival Alpha invading either.

“He was stalking outside the building texting me like an angry werewolf,” Stiles said with a raise of his shoulder. “You know, since if he got too close he’d get stuck.” He chuckled. “I didn't want to leave the apartment since you were hibernating.”

“I’ll take care of the perimeter run tonight,” Derek assured him. Once Derek’s scent was all over the territory, only a fool or an idiot would keep trying to lay any kind of claim to anything in it. “Did you talk to Isaac and the rest of the pack?”

“Yeah. Lydia and Jackson will be here in a day or two and I left messages with Erica and Boyd, but haven't heard from them. Allison will probably be back in a week or two, once things are settled.” Stiles ate his last piece of bacon, glancing over at Derek. “And Isaac can go with you tonight. I don't want you out there alone.”

Derek didn’t argue with that. He wasn’t worried about whomever he might come across. If he was lucky, it would be Tyler the Soon-to-be-Toothless, but he’d settle for a good throw down with Deucalion as well. Besides, most Alphas took someone with them when they patrolled their territory, either a mate or their second or a Beta, so it wouldn’t seem that strange. And he could use the time to get to know Isaac a little better. “What were you planning on doing today?”

“Uh, I don't know. I haven't really decided. Maybe go into the bakery. I wasn't sure if you were going to wake up today and I really didn't want to leave you here alone passed out. What do you wanna do?”

“I can go into the bakery with you if you want. Probably a good idea to keep close anyway. Most new mates don’t go far without each other.” Derek finished off his sausage and bacon and picked the plates up. “I’ll take care of the dishes, since you made breakfast.”

Stiles smiled. “Look at you being such a nice mate. Dishes are the worst.” Stiles drank his orange juice and got up to follow Derek to the sink. “Did you want to scent mark me now or later? I already showered so I won't be washing you off of me.”

The dishes landed in the sink with a loud bang. “Scent mark?” Derek asked, his voice tight. Derek swallowed hard and started picking up the pieces of the plates. “Sorry,” he muttered, looking around for a trash can to throw them in. “I, uh, whenever is good for you.”

Stiles looked at Derek and the plates then reached down to pull the trash can out from under the sink. “Well if we’re going to be mates I don't think anyone is going to believe us if I don't smell like you. But I can just wear your shirt or something of yours if you want instead. That’ll help.”

“Yeah, okay. I mean, I’ve never -” Derek dropped the pieces of the plates in the trash and took a careful breath. “I’ve never scent-marked anyone before, so I don’t really know how it works.”

“Oh.” Well that made everything awkward. Stiles wasn't really sure how to tell Derek to rub all over him without making it sexual. “Just… give me your shirt,” he said and motioned to the one Derek was wearing. “You’ve been wearing it for two days. Should be enough to make someone think I smell like you for now.”

Derek tugged it over his head and held it out to Stiles. “Are you sure you want to wear it? It’s pretty disgusting.”

Stiles shrugged and took the shirt, openly looking Derek over. Fuck, he was hot. “Well, it’s either this or you rub all over me to make me smell like you. So whatever you’re comfortable with.” And Stiles was so going to get a hardon if Derek did. Life was just evil like that.

“Is that what McCall did?” Derek frowned. “I won’t have to rub all over Isaac too, will I?”

“Uh, no. Isaac’s not your mate and Scott wasn't mine. But I’m sure he did plenty of rubbing on Allison.” Stiles chuckled. “So.” He raised his shoulder and looked at the shirt in his hands. He should probably just put it on and move on with the day. “I guess I can always try napping on the couch later. Your scent is pretty strong there.”

“Maybe you could lay down there with the blankets while I do the dishes,” Derek suggested.

“Yeah, okay.” Stiles pulled the shirt on and squashed his disappointment before it could bubble up for more than a second and started for the couch. It wasn't like they were real mates and Derek would be gone in two weeks. He stretched out on the couch and pulled the blankets over himself, trying to smother himself in Derek’s scent in hopes that any wolf that came across them would buy their ruse.

Derek put the plates Stiles had left for Isaac in the oven and focused on washing the breakfast dishes and cleaning the kitchen. Once he was finished, he asked, “Do you mind if I take a quick shower?”

When there was no answer, he walked over to the couch to find Stiles sound asleep. Derek looked down at him and took a slow breath, cataloguing the way their scents merged. It smelled... right. “I’ll be right back,” he told him quietly then headed off to the bathroom to shower.

~

The sound of shuffling had Stiles giving a sound of protest and blinking awake. He was going to kill Isaac for being a noisy roommate, but when he opened his eyes he was met with a wet and nearly naked Derek, a towel around his waist, digging in his bag. He squeezed his eyes shut when Derek looked over at him. “Sorry, sorry,” he said as he yanked the blanket over his head to give Derek some privacy.

“It’s okay,” Derek told him. “I probably should’ve taken some clothes with me. I’ll just get my clothes and go change.”

“You can use my room,” Stiles offered, hating how his heart was thundering in his chest at the thought of Derek being wet and _naked_ and so close. “I’m just gonna stay under here.” Otherwise he was going to be very openly ogling Derek, who was not interested. Stiles reminded himself that Derek didn't even want to scent mark him.

“Thanks.” Derek grabbed a pair of boxer briefs, some camouflage pants, and a brown T-shirt, then looked at the lump that was Stiles. With a shrug, he turned around and dropped his towel, then started to get dressed.

There was more shuffling and Stiles pulled the covers back enough so he could look out with one eye. He had to look. He _had_ to see. It only made things that much worse when he was greeted with the site of Derek’s naked ass. He pressed a hand over his mouth as his eyes ravaged Derek and fuck, his ass was amazing… Derek’s everything was amazing. Things were ten times worse when Stiles’ mind started to run with the sight in front of him and his dick decided it wanted some action. Stiles yanked the covers back over his head and rolled over onto his stomach, even though he knew Derek wouldn't be able to miss the scent of his arousal.

Derek pulled his underwear on, then adjusted himself and bent to grab his pants. He frowned as he sniffed and turned around, but Stiles was still covered up. “Stiles?” he asked quietly. “Are you awake?”

Stiles’ heart gave him away as it instantly started beating quicker when he realized he was definitely caught. There was no way he could lie about being awake. Derek would be able to tell with his evil werewolf hearing. “Yeah, I’m awake,” he mumbled and buried his face in the pillow he’d let Derek borrow. Derek’s scent only made his dick ache worse.

Derek turned back around as his own dick twitched, pulling his pants on in a hurry, hastily zipping up and buckling his belt.

Stiles waited to see if Derek was going to say something, only to hear him dress quickly. Fuck. _Great_. Stiles kneeled up and crawled over the back of the couch quickly to avoid having to pass Derek and hurried towards his room. Having Derek yank his clothes on knowing Stiles was aroused because of him was the worse kind of rejection and he really wanted to avoid the embarrassment of having to face Derek for as long as he could.

Derek watched Stiles all but run away from him in his eagerness to get away. He sighed and sat down on the couch, not bothering to pull his shirt on. When Stiles still hadn’t come out after Isaac had emerged from his room, eaten breakfast, and left, Derek got up and went down the hall to knock on his door. “Stiles? Are you okay?”

Stiles was _not_ okay. He’d fought having a panic attack for the better part of half an hour at the worry that he had fucked everything up and both him and Isaac were going to get their guts ripped out when Derek left because he couldn't control his dick. He buried himself in his pillow and breathed deeply, fighting to urge to crawl under the bed and disappear until his awkwardness went away. After a few minutes he sat up and ran a hand over his face with a sigh. “I’m fine,” he finally called back. Which was a fucking _lie_.

“Then how about coming out so we can go to the bakery?”

Right. The bakery. Stiles wanted to avoid the situation with Derek like the plague, but he really didn't have a choice. “I’ll be out in a few minutes.” Reluctantly Stiles crawled out of bed, stripped out of his pajamas and Derek’s shirt and pulled on fresh clothes. He grabbed his wallet, keys and phone and shoved them into his pocket before he ventured out into the hallway. “Ready to go?”

“Yeah.” Derek leaned in and sniffed him, then nodded. “Do you want my shirt to sleep in every night?”

“Yeah, that’ll be fine.” Since Derek sleeping _in_ his bed wasn't an option. Stiles stood there, waiting for Derek to move so he could get by. It seemed to take a long time, but eventually Derek stepped aside to allow him past then followed him into the living room. Stiles went out to the Jeep. “Are you riding with me?”

“If you don’t mind. I really don’t have anywhere else to go until the perimeter run tonight. I, uh, I only have the rental car through Wednesday, though. Do you want me to keep it until I leave?”

“Nah, it’s okay. Uh, no point in wasting all that money. Probably best if you stick with me anyway.” Stiles slide into the driver’s side and when Derek got into the passenger seat he started up the Jeep and headed towards the bakery.

The drive to the bakery was made largely in silence until Derek asked, “So what do you want me to do at the shop?”

Stiles raised his shoulder and kept his eyes on the road, avoiding looking at Derek to the best of his abilities. “I have to make stuff first before we open up. At least a few batches of cookies. I guess you can man the front if you can handle customers and a cash register. We usually sell a lot of cookies and we’ve got pies and cakes in the back already made if people want some of that.”

“Yeah, I can do that.” Derek relaxed in his seat. “What do you want me to do if Tyler comes in?”

“Try not to destroy my shop. If you’re going to rumble throw him away from my building. The last thing I need is to have a huge repair bill.” They’d managed to avoid too many repairs as of yet, but two Alpha’s fighting in his shop would destroy everything. Stiles sighed. “I guess come get me and we’ll figure it out.”

Derek nodded, getting out of the car once they pulled into the parking lot. The morning might have gotten off to a rocky start, but the afternoon, at least, was going to be a breeze.


	5. Chapter 5

The afternoon was a never-ending trip into hell. One customer after another filed into the shop, all of them demanding things - special lattes, espressos and frappes and smoothies, until Derek wondered what the hell had happened to just having a cup of coffee. Add in the fact that everyone wanted everything five minutes ago just added to the stress. Just when Derek was getting ready to dump the next person’s half-caf, double-shot vanilla soy latte on their head, Isaac showed up, only to make Derek realize just how inept he’d been. Within ten minutes of Isaac putting his pink and blue apron on, he’d filled three orders, calmed two irate customers down, _and_ restocked both the cookies and cinnamon rolls.

To make matters even worse, when Derek went back into the kitchen to ask Stiles if he’d at least earned a cupcake after enduring one demanding businessman after another mom who stared at him like a steak dinner, he found a strange werewolf standing far too close to Stiles for comfort. “Who are you?”

“Tyler,” Stiles said to Derek, giving Tyler an irritated look. “This is Derek. My mate and Alpha.”

Derek took a threatening step forward, glaring at Tyler the Twerp, who just laughed and shook his head. “Seriously? Come on, Stiles, you can’t expect me to believe that. There’s no way some guy you’ve never even mentioned before is your new Alpha, let alone your mate.”

“And just why is that?” Derek asked, his voice making it quite clear that he was fully prepared to rip Tyler’s head off if his answer didn’t consist of an immediate apology.

“Just because I haven't told you about him doesn't mean he’s not,” Stiles said as he turned to look at Tyler again and glared at him harder. “If you bothered to _smell_ me rather than grab my ass you’d be able to tell. I smell like Derek.”

Derek growled before he thought about it, even as he wondered why Stiles hadn’t immediately either decked the bastard or yelled for him. His anger spiked to murderous levels when Tyler leaned in and buried his face in Stiles’ neck, inhaling him as only a mate should. It was worse than bad manners; it was a slap in the face, a deliberate intimacy that should never be allowed. “Get away from him.”

Tyler just breathed in again and squeezed Stiles’ ass. “You don’t smell mated,” he told Stiles, giving him a devilish smile.

“Get. Off!” Stiles gave his best human growl as he pushed at Tyler’s chest

“Oh, believe me, I’m trying to,” Tyler teased, ducking in to kiss Stiles hard and fast. He was quickly yanked away and tossed across the room, and he looked up to see Derek stalking towards him. “What’s wrong? You don’t like me pointing out your shortcomings?”

“You’re not welcome here Tyler. You need to leave this territory. It’s not yours or anyone else’s but Derek’s and you can let everyone else know that too on your way out of town. Now get out of my damn bakery.”

“Or don’t,” Derek said, his eyes glowing red as he advanced towards Tyler. “Just make sure Stiles knows where your little vampire pack is so we can send them your body parts.”

Isaac appeared in the doorway. Tyler got to his feet and glared at Derek. “Fine,” he spat. “But you’d better get used to this, because I’m not the only one that’s going to think he’s up for grabs.”

Derek made a move towards him, but Tyler moved fast, too fast for a werewolf, shoving Isaac down before he turned to look at Stiles. “Enjoy your sexless excuse for a mate,” he snarled at him.

Once Tyler was gone, Stiles visibly relaxed and sighed. “Are you okay?” he asked both Derek and Isaac, moving to help Isaac up off of the floor. So their plan was fucked. “That’s fucking awesome,” he grumbled. “So, what? Now we have to fuck so people will leave me alone? How the hell is that going to work when -” When Derek went back to the WEREs.

“He’s a spoiled ass who didn’t like hearing the word no,” Derek growled. “It’ll be fine. We just need to give you a little more time for my scent to mingle with yours.”

Hopefully they had enough time before Derek left. Stiles ran his hands over Isaac to make sure he didn't have any wounds before leaning against the counter. “Well… there goes that batch of muffins…” Stiles glared at the mess on the floor that Derek had thrown Tyler into. “But at least he’s gone.”

A deep growl rumbled in Derek’s chest as he watched Stiles and Isaac. It didn’t take long for Isaac to glance over at Derek and move away from Stiles. “I’m fine,” Isaac told Stiles. “I’m just gonna go back out front.” Without waiting for an answer, Isaac hurried back to the cash register, leaving Stiles and Derek alone in the kitchen.

Stiles closed the kitchen door and leaned against it. “C’mere,” he said to Derek, motioning for him to come to him with open arms. Stiles knew the only thing that would calm Derek down would be physical contact, especially after Tyler tried to mark Stiles with his scent.

Derek walked over to him. “I’m sorry about your muffins.”

“It’s okay. I can make more muffins,” Stiles said with a shrug, grabbing Derek’s hand when he was within reach and pulled him in close. “I’m okay,” he assured him. “We’re okay.”

“I know you said not to fight in here, but he started scenting you like that and you said he was grabbing you and I just -” Derek shrugged. “I didn’t like it.”

Stiles smiled a little. “Thanks for saving me. If I would’ve busted out some magic the kitchen would’ve been worse off,” he teased, running a hand up Derek’s chest and onto the back of his neck to draw him down into his own. “Probably would’ve burned the place down,” he added with a chuckle.

Derek breathed in automatically, taking in Stiles’ scent and wrapped his arms around Stiles.

Stiles pulled Derek in closer, needing the contact as much as Derek seemed to need it. He stroked his hand over the back of Derek’s neck as he was scented, his other arm around Derek’s waist to keep him there as they leaned against the kitchen door. It was more comfortable than Stiles thought it would be and felt _right_ , unlike how it felt with Tyler.

Derek nuzzled in a little more before releasing Stiles and stepping back. “What he said... about the scent. You know I wouldn’t - that I wouldn’t make you... do anything, right?”

Stiles looked confused at Derek’s withdrawal from him and he frowned, nodding. “I know. I know that you wouldn't force me to do anything. You’re not a jerk like he is.” Stiles never once thought Derek would ever be that type of person.

Derek gave Stiles a rueful smile. “I think once my scent soaks in and really mingles with yours that things will be easier. You know, with other werewolves.”

“Here’s hoping…” If Tyler was this bold, Stiles was worried about what would happen when Deucalion and the other wolves found out about Stiles’ acceptance of Derek as his new Alpha and mate. “I guess that’s something we’ll have to work on.”

“Getting my scent on you? I thought you didn’t want me rubbing all over you.”

“I didn't say that. I said we could do whatever you were comfortable with and we could try the shirts if you didn't want to do the rubbing thing since you never scent marked someone before.”

Derek looked uncomfortable. “It wasn’t really something my parents ever talked to me about,” he muttered.

Stiles sighed. “I’m not harping on your lack of experience. It’s not my intention, so I’m sorry if you feel like that’s what I’m doing. I’m just trying to figure this out with you.”

Derek nodded. “I know.” He shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “So do you know anybody you could ask? About scent marking?”

“I can look it up. I mean, I know the basics,” Stiles said with a shrug. “I just figured once we get started your wolf would just take over. But, uh - sex doesn't have to be part of it,” he assured Derek.

“Maybe we should try to figure something out after I make my run tonight,” Derek suggested in a low voice.

“Yeah,” Stiles said and ran a hand over his face. “It’s probably too much to hope for Deucalion to stay away once he gets a whiff of you.” And Stiles really wasn't looking forward to that confrontation. “You’re still taking Isaac, right?”

“Yeah.” Derek looked over Stiles’ shoulder at the door. “I should probably go apologize to him for growling like that.”

“Which you can't do because I’m blocking the door,” Stiles said, realizing that he was literally keeping Derek from leaving. “Sorry.” He moved from the door and back over to the counter, wrapping his arms around himself. He still had to clean up the mess from the fight.

Derek turned towards the door, then hesitated and looked back at Stiles. “Are you okay?” he asked, watching him carefully.

“I’ll be okay,” Stiles assured him and offered a small smile. “Let me know when we get low on something and I’ll come restock between batches.” Stiles sighed and started for the mess on the floor, needing to get it cleaned up before he could start on more muffins.

“Yeah, okay.” Derek headed out to the shop to apologize to Isaac and start serving customers again.

***

> _Dear Stiles,_
> 
> _Your cooler was waiting for me when I got here. I made a pretty huge pig of myself as soon as I got it open and smelled the lasagna, but I managed to share some of the meatloaf and green beans with the others. Now everyone wants to trade pen pals with me. I told them I'd consider it but they'd have to offer me something really good to make up for losing those chocolate chip cookies._
> 
> _We're all allotted a certain amount of leave - not as much as McCall, but then none of us have packs to tend to the way he does, either. I usually go into the city for a few days and do some exploring if it's a short leave. Laura's three years older than I am and Cora was almost four years younger, so I guess you could call me the classic middle child._
> 
> _The donuts tasted really good, but they did end up looking a little worse for wear. I ended up having to scoop some out with a spoon. You can tell your mom her training's paid off, although I'm sure she's aware of that thanks to your bakery. She and your dad must be really proud of you. What do they think about you being a human in a wolf pack? Or do they not know about it yet?_
> 
> _Kali says I owe you a picture. She wanted to take one with her phone but I threatened to rip her throat out if she tried. But I guess I can owe you one. If you want._
> 
> _Alpha Soldier dude, again? Do you pay this little attention to your Alpha when he tells you something?_
> 
> _Derek_

***

Stiles was in his bed. Or rather, on the couch that Derek was using as his bed. Derek stared down at him, trying to decide if he should wake Stiles up or - well, it wasn’t like he could go sleep in Stiles’ bed. Which meant he really only had one option. Taking a seat on the edge of the couch, he carefully shook Stiles’ shoulder.

Stiles gave Derek a grumpy sound, but blinked awake all the same. He took a deep breath and sat up. “How’d the run go?”

“Really well.” Derek made the run twice - once with Isaac and then once alone when Isaac had stopped by the cemetery to talk to his old Alpha. He’d shifted for the second run and stopped several times to mark his territory, so the scent would be not only fresh, but strong. What Derek hadn’t been prepared for was just how strong his claim to the land would feel.

“Good.” Stiles rubbed his face and leaned his head on his hand. “Sorry about the couch thing. Thought it would help with your scent on me.” Stiles started to get up. “You probably wanna lay down after –”

Derek pushed Stiles back down again. “You should stay put…” When Stiles looked up at him, he scrambled to think of a reason. “You know, get your scent on the blankets and everything. That way I’ll smell like you, too.”

Stiles looked down at the couch and nodded. “I can scoot over if you want to lay down,” he offered.

“Yeah, okay. I mean, that sounds nice.”

Stiles scooted over to make room for Derek on the small couch. “If you’re hungry I can heat you up some leftovers or something,” he added, not really sure what to say. Stiles just hoped he didn't pop an inappropriate boner from snuggling on the couch.

Derek stretched out carefully on his side next to Stiles and one of his hands ended up on Stiles’ side. “Are they as good as breakfast was?”

“Of course,” Stiles said with a chuckle. “I’m an expert cook.” It probably had a lot to do with needing to know how to mix ingredients and various things as an emissary, so cooking came naturally to him. Stiles relaxed under Derek’s touch despite his nervousness. “So where’s Isaac anyway?”

“He stopped by the cemetery. I, uh, I went on another run after we separated,” Derek admitted. “Does he spend a lot of time there?”

“Yeah,” Stiles said softly. “Out of the betas Isaac took Scott’s death the worst. They were pretty close. I mean, Isaac’s dad was abusive and that stopped when he joined the pack. I guess the pack kinda saved him.”

Derek winced, “I’m sorry. I’ll try to be nicer to him.”

“Thanks… I think it’ll help.” Stiles lay there, trying his best not to just stare at Derek, but there weren't many places for his eyes to focus and Derek was so close. “Did you wanna?” Stiles motioned to his own neck for the scenting and nuzzling thing they should probably start doing.

Derek nodded and leaned in. Stiles shifted and somehow Derek ended up with his nose buried against Stiles’ neck again, breathing in deeply.

Stiles closed his eyes when Derek pressed his face against his neck, one of his hands snaking up to slide into Derek’s hair and hold him there. “Nuzzling and making me smell like you starts off the scent marking.” He pressed in close to Derek, just needing to be closer.

“So this is what we should be doing, then.” Derek’s voice was muffled against Stiles’ neck, but he didn’t raise his head. He breathed in and nestled a little closer, moving in to the scent without thinking.

“Yeah, stuff like this,” Stiles agreed, scooting in closer to press flush to Derek’s body. He fought the urge to throw his leg over Derek’s hip to get as close as he could, but being trapped under the blankets helped with that.

Derek nuzzled in a little more, making a soft contented sound as he breathed again, drawing in Stiles’ scent, his hand on Stiles’ waist tightening automatically. “What comes next?”

Stiles’ breath was shallow and even as he tried to stay calm, but he knew his heart was betraying him. Especially with the sound Derek made and his hand tightening on his waist. “I, uh - just -” Stiles turned in as best he could against Derek’s shoulder and rubbed his cheek against him. “Maybe some of that?” he suggested quietly.

“Did you want me to do that to you?” Derek asked.

“Yeah…” Stiles chewed his lip, pausing for a moment. “Maybe - maybe you should get under the covers with me?” And _God_ that sounded so suggestive, but he hadn't meant it to come out that way. Not really. “I can pull them out from under you.”

Derek nodded then forced himself back. Sitting up, he tugged his shirt up over his head then looked at Stiles. “Did you want to put this on? The scent’s fresher than the old one.”

Stiles couldn't help but stare at shirtless Derek. He licked his lips and nodded, pushing the blankets back and sitting up. “Yeah, okay.” Stiles pulled his shirt off and tossed it onto the floor, then took Derek’s to pull it over his head. “Better?” he asked, lying back down and holding the blankets back for Derek.

Derek put his hand on Stiles’ waist again as he lay back down, then drew in another breath before he rubbed his cheek over Stiles’ shoulder. “Like that?”

Stiles tossed the blankets over them and when Derek scooted right in and - _fuck_. He had to swallow a groan. “Yeah, lot better. Maybe, uh - do that to my neck.” It was a horrible idea, but there was no turning back now and they really needed to do the scent marking.

“Tilt your head for me?” When Stiles bared his throat, Derek rubbed his cheek over the vulnerable expanse, a slow stroke of skin on skin that was immediately repeated as soon as it was done.

The feeling of Derek’s stubble against Stiles’ neck was _doing things_ to him and fuck, it was so unfair. “Yeah, like that,” he breathed, fingers smoothing into Derek’s hair to encourage him on. Stiles shifted against Derek and he needed him closer. Just - _closer_ , so he gave into his urge and moved his thigh over Derek’s hip to pull him in tighter against his body.

Derek rubbed his cheek over Stiles’ neck again then yet again when Stiles moaned.

Stiles’ body was betraying him and for Stiles’ body this was so much more than just scenting. He only had himself to blame since he didn't get fucked as much as he probably should, so when Derek rubbed his cheek over his sensitive neck again, Stiles’ dick hardened and fuck - Derek felt so good against him. “Just keep doing that,” he mumbled, digging his heel into Derek’s ass to press against him.

Derek’s dick responded, hardening in a rush, but Stiles just pulled Derek in closer and asked for more. Derek rubbed his cheek over Stiles’ throat again then used his head to nudge up under his chin so he could move over to the other side to rub there as well.

After a few more rubs of Derek’s cheek against his neck, Stiles was swallowing a whine as it tried to bubble up, fingers twisted into Derek’s hair to keep him close to his neck. There was no way that Derek couldn't feel how hard he was, couldn't hear how fast his heart is beating and how his breath faltered with each pass of his cheek. Stiles needed more, giving an experimental rock against Derek to see what his reaction would be.

Derek’s hand immediately moved over to Stiles’ ass, pulling Stiles tight up against him as Derek shifted, pressing in to let Stiles feel his own aching dick. Derek rubbed along first one side, then the other, using his head to nudge Stiles’ back and open his neck for him. “Is this part of scent marking too?”

Stiles could only groan, moving onto his back and baring his neck to Derek, pulling him on top of him. “Fuck, it could be,” he panted, but as far as Stiles’ brain cared, it just felt _awesome_. It didn't help that he was extremely attracted to Derek. “Whatever you want it to be as long as we don't have to stop.”

“Yeah.” Derek settled down a little more fully on top of Stiles, using his hips to push Stiles’ legs open a little more. “Isaac’s gonna be back soon,” he mumbled.

The last thing that Stiles wanted to think about was Isaac, especially when Derek kept rubbing himself over his neck and pressed him against the couch with the weight of his amazing body. He breathed out a frustrated sound, refusing to let go of Derek. “Does that mean we have to stop?”

“Not if you don’t want to.” Derek rubbed over Stiles’ neck again, rocking down a little more deliberately. Derek’s hands stroked up and down Stiles’ sides before he settled them on Stiles’ hips.

Derek’s fingers sliding under the hem of Stiles’ shirt had Stiles’ skin on fire with the contact. “Don't wanna stop,” he assured Derek, rocking up against him, chasing the friction that he needed. Stiles’ free hand roamed over Derek’s back, tracing over defined muscles as he tried to keep him close. “Maybe - maybe we should - uh, go to my room if you’re worried about Isaac.”

“Yeah.” Derek pulled Stiles up off the couch with him. “Hold on,” he said as he reached down, hands cupping Stiles’ ass as he hoisted him up off the floor and started down the hall towards the bedroom.

Derek carrying him to his bedroom shouldn’t be that freakin’ hot, but it totally was and Stiles wrapped around him, holding on and turning into Derek’s neck to breathe him in before rubbing his cheek against Derek’s neck and shoulder like he’d been treated to earlier. “Want you sleeping in my bed tonight.”

”Yeah,” Derek gritted out then shoved Stiles up against the bedroom door, hands squeezing Stiles’ ass. “Open the door for me?”

“You better not drop me,” Stiles said and gave Derek a warning look, but smiled a second later and reached down to twist the knob, hoping they didn't just tumble in. Stiles was relieved not to find himself on the floor the second the door opened, burying his face against Derek’s neck again to nuzzle and mark him with his scent.

Derek managed to make it to the bed before his knees gave out and he laid Stiles down on it, following him down immediately. One hand slid up under Stiles’ shirt while he nudged Stiles’ legs open and rocked against him as he rubbed over Stiles’ neck once more. He buried his face against Stiles’ neck, inhaling deeply. “You smell more like me.”

“Good,” Stiles breathed, tangling his legs with Derek’s and rolling up against him. If Stiles had his way, he’d smell a lot more like Derek by the end of the night. Derek’s fingers stroking over his skin was torture, especially since he wanted to push Derek’s hand down to his crotch. He nosed at Derek, placing kisses wherever he could reach. “Gonna smell completely like you in the morning.”

Derek’s growl said clearer than words just how much he liked that thought. Derek nosed his way along Stiles’ jawline and back again, rocking against him harder, leaking precome in his boxer briefs. “Should make sure I smell like you, too.”

Stiles grinned, closing his teeth on Derek’s shoulder with a teasing bite before rubbing his cheek over it. “You will,” he promised, hands moving down to Derek’s ass to squeeze and pull him tighter against him. Stiles was doing his best not to come in his pajama bottoms like a teenager so he kissed Derek’s shoulder again and nosed at his jawline. “Am I gonna have to beg for a kiss or do you not do kissing?”

“I kiss.” Derek proved it by brushing his mouth lightly, teasingly across Stiles’, lips glancing more than actually kissing, again and again until Stiles whimpered. Only then did Derek press his lips fully against Stiles’, tongue stroking over his lower lip before it slipped inside to stroke over Stiles’. “Like that?”

“Pretty good,” Stiles grinned and nipped Derek’s lip. “I think we should work on it some more. Like, a lot. All the time.” Stiles could happily kiss Derek and rub all over him for as long as he was allowed and he kissed Derek back, nice and wet, muffling a groan against his lips. “You feel so good,” he breathed when they parted.

Derek groaned and caught Stiles’ mouth in another kiss, rocking down hard against him. He shoved Stiles’ shirt up a little more and kissed Stiles again, openly thrusting against him.

Stiles moved to meet Derek’s thrusts, groaning at the perfect friction against his dick, blunt nails clawing at Derek’s back. “Fuck, take it off,” he grumbled, pushing Derek back enough so Stiles could yank Derek’s shirt off of himself and toss it aside. The feeling of Derek’s skin against his had Stiles moaning into another kiss. “Gonna come soon if you keep that up.”

“Yeah,” Derek growled, kissing Stiles again before he started rubbing over Stiles’ neck then turning in to mouth at it. Derek moved a little faster, grinding down harder as he sucked right over a pulse point, then bit down against it teasingly.

Stiles whined high in the back of his throat, cupping the back of Derek’s head and pressing him tighter against his neck for more. “Derek, please -” Stiles wasn't sure if he was asking for Derek to bite him again, to thrust against him harder, to strip him naked and fuck him or just to make him come - or hell, all of it. He just _needed_. He bucked up against Derek on a groan, digging nails into his shoulder blade. “Oh god, fuck - please.”

“I like hearing you beg,” Derek told Stiles, mouthing over his neck. Derek ground down against Stiles and bit him again - _hard_.

Derek’s physical claim over him shot straight to Stiles’ dick and he moaned loudly, hissing and bucking under him as he came. Stiles’ thought his brain was going to short circuit as he dirtied his pants, clinging to Derek and turning into his neck to clamp teeth there in return.

Derek groaned and managed to rock against Stiles for a few more thrusts before he came, shooting right in his pants, rutting desperately against him. Derek slumped down against Stiles afterward, nuzzling against his neck with a low growl. “I’ll move in a minute,” he promised. “Just... wanna stay like this for now.”

Stiles didn't say anything, nuzzling Derek in return and wrapping arms and legs around him to keep him from moving off of him. His skin was still buzzing from his orgasm as he turned and kissed over his mark on Derek’s neck, feeling the one on his own throbbing. “Mmm, lets do it again,” Stiles chuckled and rubbed his cheek on Derek’s shoulder. “Should do it naked though.”

“Right now?” Derek raised his head, arching an eyebrow at Stiles. “You might have to give me a few minutes. Even werewolves have refractory periods, you know.”

Stiles huffed and gave Derek a look in return. “Don't tell me your supernatural stamina can't keep up with my sex drive.” He smiled then and pecked Derek’s lips, carding his fingers through Derek’s hair.

Derek chuckled and kissed Stiles in return, long and deep, before the sticky clamminess against Derek’s crotch made Derek shift uncomfortably. “Should get cleaned up,” he commented, although he made no move to roll away just yet. “Both of us.”

“Can't even enjoy being messy,” Stiles teased. “The military has trained you too well.” With another kiss Stiles shifted just enough to wiggle a hand between them to work at the button on Derek’s jeans. “Just take ‘em off, unless you really need to go wash up.”

“We get messy often enough,” Derek said, moving his own hand down to unzip his jeans so he could wriggle out of them and kick them off without having to get off of Stiles. “Of course, this means I’m the only naked one now. And you’re probably not that comfortable in those pants.”

“Then you should help me get them off,” Stiles suggested, nipping at Derek’s lips. “After all, can't have you be the only naked one in bed.” Even if the only thing that Stiles _really_ wanted to do right that second was push Derek onto his back and suck him until he was hard again.

“Mmm, good idea.” Derek kissed Stiles again, mouthed at his neck, then knelt up and tugged his pants down, tossing them away once they were off. Derek looked up along Stiles’ body, studying him with heat in his eyes. Derek skimmed a hand up along the outside of Stiles’ leg as he eased himself down onto one elbow next to him. “Should probably get under the covers,” he said. “Or close the door.”

Stiles smiled and turned onto his side to face Derek, stretching out next to him and rested his head on his arm. “Well I’m not getting up to close the door,” he chuckled and scooted in closer to Derek. “And getting under the covers means moving so we can pull them back to get under them.” Stiles didn't like that idea either, but the idea of sharing Derek with Isaac made him frown too. “I’m sure I’ll be punished for this sometime in the future by invisible forces,” Stiles joked and leaned up enough to look at the door, held his hand out and carefully pushed energy towards it so he wouldn't blow it up in the process of closing it.

“Why would you get punished for that?” Derek asked, impressed. “I think it’s a pretty convenient power.”

Stiles relaxed back into bed, enjoying Derek’s touch. “Well, most people would think it’s pretty awesome and convenient, but that’s kinda the problem. Rule one for any kind of magic, regardless of what kind it is, is that you’re not supposed to use it for personal gain. Closing doors because I don't wanna get up and don't want you to leave the bed kinda falls under that category. The more you have to gain from it the worse the backlash usually is.”

“So how much backlash could really come from closing a door?” Derek smiled and leaned in to scent Stiles’ neck again. “After all you’ve been dealing with, surely the universe wouldn’t begrudge you one little act for yourself.”

“The universe is kind of a shithead,” Stiles said with a chuckle. “It doesn't care about what we’re going through. It’s just worried about teaching balance and making sure it’s kept. You’d be surprised just how petty it can be.” Stiles swore the universe made sure that he’d always be clumsy, just to get back at him for something he hadn't even done yet. He reached up to run his fingers through Derek’s hair as Derek scented him. “Smell better?”

Derek hummed a faint agreement, nuzzling in to completely bury his face in Stiles’ neck. “Smells great,” he mumbled, rubbing his face over Stiles’ neck again.

Stiles laughed softly, turning his head up for Derek all the same and burying his fingers into Derek’s hair. “Gonna have the worst beardburn in the morning.” There was no complaint in his voice and he didn't push Derek away.

“I can stop if you want,” Derek offered, rubbing against Stiles again before he turned his face in again. “Or maybe I can kiss it better.” He mouthed at Stiles’ neck, only to scrape his teeth over his skin.

Stiles gave a pleased sound, rolling onto his back and pulling Derek on top of him again. “I’m up for going all night if you are,” he teased and tugged Derek up for a kiss. Stiles’ neck would be three different shades by morning, but it would be totally worth it.

 

***

> _Derek,_
> 
> _I’m glad you liked the food that I sent you and I’m sorry that the donuts ended up being mushed. I, uh, I wasn't really sure how to vacuum pack them and thought I’d at least give it a try, but figured maybe mushed donuts would be better than no donuts. I’ve been googling ideas on how to send them to you without getting them mushed and I’ve read that maybe freezing them might help them hold their form and then I could try and vacuum pack them. I’m not sure how that’ll hold up once they unfreeze, but I guess it’s worth a try! That is, if you want frozen donuts._
> 
> _I’m glad the others enjoyed the food, too. I can't imagine anything that would be worth losing my homemade chocolate chip cookies for. If you trade me for something, I’m going to be disappointed in you. I thought our food-friendship was stronger than that. Plus, that’ll mean that you get no more nommies from me because I don't think anyone else will be willing to share my goodies with you like you do with them. Scott may have mercy on your bad choice in trading me, but don't count on him sharing all of his goodies! (Which means you should totally keep me. It’s the best option.)_
> 
> _As for my dad, he is proud of me. He always says he is. I wish my mom could see me now. She died when I was a kid. We miss her, but I’d like to think that she’d be proud of me too. As for the werewolf pack thing, it’s Beacon Hills. If someone doesn't know about werewolves, they’re blind. My dad didn't really have a say in me being a human as part of a pack, since my best friend was turned and that’s how this all started. He worries, but he knows that I’m capable so he accepts my position in the pack._
> 
> _You can owe me a picture Alpha soldier dude. Enjoy the new cookies. I sent a few different kinds for you to test out and share with the others._
> 
> _Stiles_


	6. Chapter 6

Stiles put the pot roast into the oven and set the timer before moving about the kitchen to prepare the sides for dinner. When he heard the front door open he smiled so hard he thought his cheeks were going to cramp up. “So how do you feel about - Oh my god! Derek?!” Stiles rushed over to him, pressing a hand to Derek’s shoulder to keep him upright and helped him over to the couch. “What happened?!”

“Deucalion,” Derek told Stiles, leaning on him . “He knows the territory’s taken and he wasn’t happy about it.”

“Stay here,” Stiles said and sat Derek down on the couch, making sure he was steady before he ran to the kitchen to get a couple of rags damp with water and some jars from the cabinets. He knelt in front of Derek, afraid of how bad the wounds were. “Let me see…” he said, reaching out and ripping Derek’s already shredded shirt open. “Well, at least your guts aren’t spilling out.” It was hard to find anything good about this, but Stiles tried anyway. “Did you kick his ass or do we have something to worry about?” he finally asked.

“I won. I wouldn’t have walked away from it if I hadn’t.” Derek sucked in a sharp, hissing breath as Stiles pressed against his wound. “Fuck! That’s -”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry - I know,” Stiles said and tried to clean the blood off as quickly as he could before grabbing a jar and opening it. It was full of ground powder and Stiles grabbed another jar with a gel like substance and dumped some powder into it before mixing it up with his hand. “I just need to put some stuff on it to help it heal.”

“It’ll be fine,” Derek assured him, trying to smile. “Trust me, it hardly hurts at all. But I wouldn’t object to a kiss to help it feel better...”

Stiles smiled a little at that, even though his face was still filled with worry. “Kisses after healing. I’d offer an orgasm but I don't think it would help your wounds,” he teased and carefully spread the mixture over one wound and the next until they were all covered with it. “It should help with pain relief. I mixed some white willow bark in it.” Stiles grabbed gauze and tape to start patching Derek up.

“I thought an Alpha’s wish was always obeyed,” Derek said with a scowl.

Stiles snorted and smiled more at that. “An Alpha might be able to force a beta or omega to do his bidding on instinct to please, but I’m not a werewolf,” he reminded Derek, leaning up to give him a quick kiss before turning his attention back to covering Derek’s wounds. “I just want to make sure you’re okay. I’ll give you all the kisses you want once I’ve got you set.”

“I know something that would be even better than kisses,” Derek muttered right before he reached down to squeeze Stiles’ ass. “For both of us.”

“My ass is better than a lot of things in this world,” Stiles teased and finished his work, then leaned up to kiss Derek again. “And I know you bleeding all over the place and having your guts on the verge of spilling out is supposed to be sexy, but I really don't want to hurt you more.”

“I could just lay here while you do all the work.” Derek grinned and gave Stiles’ ass another squeeze.

“And then you’ll orgasm and open all your wounds again,” Stiles pointed out, but god, he really wanted to. He was all for doing all the work and riding Derek's dick, but he really couldn't let himself have that. Derek would be leaving soon and they hadn't even talked about if Derek would be coming back or when or hell - even if he did it could be a long time from now. Stiles was already too attached as it was and having sex with Derek would only make it worse when Derek left. “And I’ll have to clean you up and do everything all over again.”

“But Alpha wounds take a really long time to heal,” Derek said with a pout.

“Not with my magical hands,” Stiles informed him with another gentle kiss. “You’ll heal normally as long as we keep you bandaged and make sure to reapply the gel often. Soon enough you’ll be good as new.” And _leaving_. Stiles tried his best not to think about losing Derek so soon, but it was always nagging at the back of his mind.

“Good as new,” Derek echoed. “That sounds good. Should probably call my unit, let them know I’ll be rejoining them soon, then.”

“You can't stay longer?” Stiles asked, chewing his lip and picking at the couch. He knew that Derek had to go back. Derek had made a life in the military with the WEREs and it was what Derek did. It wasn't like Derek was going to give that up for some orgasms and fucking. Stiles knew Derek could get that anywhere and often if he wanted to, even if the pack was something extra with Stiles.

Derek was quiet for a moment. “Emergency pack leave only lasts until the emergency’s under control,” he finally said softly.

“Right… and I guess it is,” Stiles nodded, kissing Derek again before he started gathering up his jars and first aid supplies. “So, I was going to ask you how you felt about mashed potatoes, since I really didn't feel like putting potatoes in the pot roast in a couple of hours.” Stiles stood up and headed off to the kitchen to put his things up and wash his hands so he could get back to making dinner.

“Mashed potatoes sound good,” Derek agreed. “Maybe with some corn to go with them?”

“On the cob or off?” Stiles asked from the kitchen, drying his hands and doing his best to ignore the pain twisting in his chest at the thought of Derek leaving. Derek didn't live here. Derek wasn't really his mate. Derek was going to leave. Focusing on dinner was the only distraction that Stiles could give himself and it would only last for a couple of hours.

“Off, if you’ve got it.” Derek walked into the kitchen, moving up behind Stiles to put his hands on Stiles’ hips. He leaned in to nuzzle Stiles’ neck, breathing in. “I don’t think you’ll have any problems like you did with Tyler.”

“That’s good,” Stiles said, tilting his head so Derek could have better access to his neck as he peeled potatoes. “At least I won't have to kill me a werewolf. Tyler was three seconds away from getting his dick fried off.”

“You’d have had to touch it to do that,” Derek pointed out, growling.

“Not technically,” Stiles said as he peeled another potato and tossed it into a bowl. “I could touch him anywhere and surge that kinda power through him, but it would be more of an all over frying then. Probably would’ve destroyed the kitchen though with how much metal and appliances we have in there.”

“Still would’ve meant touching him.” Derek rubbed his cheek over Stiles’ neck, then turned and mouthed at the bruises there.

“I think you like to torture me,” Stiles teased, closing his eyes briefly at the feeling of Derek’s mouth and cheek against his neck. He had to open them again to peel the potato he had in his hand and toss that into the bowl too. Stiles was careful not to press back against Derek so he wouldn't hurt his wounds.

Derek hummed and mouthed at Stiles’ neck again. “It’s not torture if I follow through. You wouldn’t deprive me of a little fun, would you?”

“Nothing wrong with a little fun if you don't mind not having mashed potatoes and corn for dinner with the pot roast,” Stiles agreed and he was so close to just grinding his ass back against Derek and begging him to fuck him, but he just _couldn't_. Not when he knew his stupid heart would get broken when Derek left. This was more than just banging and leaving to Stiles, like all his other hookups had been.

“I’d rather have you. Are you on the menu?”

Stiles chuckled and put the knife and potato down, rinsed his hands off and dried them again. “I wasn't before, but I guess I could be the appetizer. Are you sure you’re feeling okay? I don't want you to be in any pain.”

“I’m fine.” Derek ran a hand down over Stiles’ ass, squeezing through his jeans. “We can eat in bed afterward.”

“The meat will be ready in three hours or so,” Stiles said and turned around in Derek’s arms, leaning back against the counter and kissing him. “What do you wanna do for three hours?”

Derek’s answering grin could only be described as wolfish - and predatory.

***

> _Dear Stiles,_
> 
> _Don’t apologize for the donuts! I didn’t mind eating them with a spoon. Although, I must say I’m intrigued at the thought of frozen donuts. I await them eagerly, and you can expect a full report on their status upon arrival._
> 
> _I’m sorry about your mom. Both of my parents died in a fire along with Cora and several of my aunts, uncles, and cousins when I was sixteen. Believe me when I say that I understand how something like that changes you and can mess you up for a long time. I’m glad you still have your dad, and that he accepts you being part of the pack._
> 
> _Anyway, moving on from those topics. I feel like these letters have been a little unbalanced. You’ve been asking me questions about me, and I haven’t returned the favor. I know all about your baking, but what about your free time? Your hobbies, things you like? I’m sure you won’t have a problem thinking of things to tell me._
> 
> _Thanks for the cookies, by the way. I really liked the s’mores and the butterscotch ones. If you keep sending me so many sweets, I’m going to have to up my training regimen._
> 
> _Derek_

***

Derek rolled up his T-shirt and shoved it in his duffle, then put several rolls of socks in. “Stiles?” he called out. “Have you seen my black boxer briefs?”

Stiles had been obsessively cleaning the kitchen and reorganizing the cupboards while Derek gathered his things from around his apartment and packed. Derek was leaving. He was actually leaving. In the morning. It didn't hurt any less realizing the day was finally here that Derek was going back to his life. “Check my drawers! Probably the top one!” Stiles knew that’s where they was because that’s where he’d hidden them. But if Derek was looking for it then he obviously knew it was missing.

Derek went into the bedroom to retrieve them, along with several others. He turned around to head back into the living room, then paused and retrieved one of Stiles’ shirts from the laundry basket. Hiding the shirt in with the underwear, Derek went back into the living room and shoved all of them in his duffle. “Are you sure you don’t mind getting up early to give me a ride to the airport?”

“Of course not,” Stiles said from the kitchen where several glasses clacking together could be heard. “What time do you have to be there again?” Stiles was dreading when Derek left and was silently counting down the hours and minutes and seconds until he lost him.

“Six-thirty. Is Isaac coming over tomorrow night?”

“I asked Lydia to come over instead.” They’d gotten in yesterday and Stiles knew he’d need more than Isaac could emotionally give him once Derek left, so he’d called in heavy backup to piece him back together. Stiles walked out from the kitchen and handed Derek a jar. “You think they’ll let you take this?” It was a jar full of the healing gel mixture he’d made just for Derek.

“You think it’ll work without you to put it on me and bandage me up? I know you said it’s the ointment that does the healing, but I still think your touch is the real magic to it.”

“I don't think it would hurt to have it on hand,” Stiles said, still holding it out to him. “If you want I can make a bunch of jars and mail them to you so you can hand them out to the other WEREs. Could probably get some tubes and put it in that if you want to carry it around with you.”

Derek nodded and added the tin to his bag. “Thanks. I know the rest would be very grateful for that.” Once everything was in the bag, Derek folded it up and clipped it closed. “I think that’s it.”

“Wow… that’s -” Stiles looked at the bag. That was it. Derek was packed away and ready to leave him. “I don't think I’d be able to live out of a bag,” he settled on, shoving his hands into his pockets. He knew his disappointment had to be showing on his face, so he turned around and went back into the kitchen to find something else to do. “Do you want cookies?” He could bake cookies.

Derek shook his head. “I want to go to bed. How does that sound?”

“We could do that,” Stiles said as he came back into the living room. He was afraid he was going to end up clinging to Derek and begging him to stay and coming off desperate and needy was the last thing that Stiles wanted to do. It was getting late and the minutes were ticking away towards morning, making Stiles’ stomach twist and his chest tighten up. “You think you’ll have to go out on a mission as soon as you get back?”

“I don’t know. It’s a possibility. You know I can’t tell you if we are.”

Stiles nodded. “I know… I’ll still write you and send you stuff… hopefully you’ll be there to get it when I do.” Stiles was trying his best not to beg Derek to pack him in his bag and take him with him. Stiles could probably find a way to make himself miniature.

“I always get whatever you send me. You know sometimes they come late, but I always get them. Even when you send me cookies, somehow they make it through.”

“Three to six weeks of freshness,” Stiles said, remembering what the booklet chart listed as the hold time for vacuum-sealed cookies. “Let me know when you’re back on base and I’ll cook you guys some real food and overnight it.” Stiles reached for Derek, pulling him in closer by his belt loop and only managed to keep himself from burying his face in Derek’s neck for a second or two when he was close enough.

Derek wrapped his arms around Stiles, holding him close, rubbing up and down his back, one hand moving up to cup Stiles’ head, keeping him tucked in against his neck. “I’m going to miss this,” he said quietly. “Miss having your scent clinging to my skin and clothes, miss feeling your breath on my neck when we go to sleep…”

“Me too,” Stiles said softly, breathing in deeply and nuzzling against Derek’s neck. “I’m gonna miss you.” Even if the only thing they did for the next forever was sit on the couch and watch tv so Stiles could stick his toes under Derek’s thighs to use them as toe warmers. Stiles didn't know what the hell he was going to do since he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep in bed alone after sharing his with Derek for the last two weeks.

“You’ll call if you need me for anything, right? Or if the pack’s in trouble?”

“I will. I promise,” Stiles agreed and practically clung to Derek, face still buried against his neck, unwilling to let him go. “When’s the next time you’re eligible for leave?” They hadn't talked about if Derek would be coming back for any future leave that he may have, but Stiles needed to know. He reminded himself that Derek wasn't obligated to come back to Beacon Hills unless there was a crisis, but he hoped Derek would want to.

“I don’t know. I’m entitled to three weeks a year... It’s going to depend on where the unit is needed. I probably wont be able to take a lot of time at once, though.”

“Just let me know? Whenever you can, I’ll go pick you up from the airport.” Or stay in a hotel near it if they didn't have a lot of time. Stiles knew that he’d take whatever time he could that Derek would give him. He finally turned up to give Derek a kiss. “We can figure it out.” Scott and Allison made it work. There was no reason they couldn't too.

Derek nodded and kissed Stiles, slow and deep. “I will.” Derek started walking Stiles backwards, steering him down the hallway towards the bedroom. Clothes were stripped off on the way, shirts littering the hallway, pants discarded by the bedroom door, underwear abandoned at the foot of the bed. Once they were naked, Derek pushed Stiles down on the mattress and paused for a moment, taking a few minutes just to look at him. “Tell me what you want.”

Stiles leaned up, moving a hand to wrap around the back of Derek’s neck to pull him into a slow, wet kiss. Stiles wanted to tell Derek that he just wanted him and didn't care how he had him, that he wanted him to stay and not go back to WEREs, that he _needed_ him here. Instead he said, “Tell me something no one else knows,” when they parted from the kiss briefly. More than anything, Stiles wanted Derek to love him.

Derek was silent for a moment, and then he kissed Stiles again. When he drew back, he took a deep breath and said, “I killed my uncle.”

Stiles’ face scrunched up in confusion, trying to think about anything Derek might’ve said about his uncle before, but he couldn't recall any information. “Why?” he asked softly. Derek couldn't just tell him something like that and not explain what happened.

“He was going to kill my sister.” Derek told Stiles about how him and Laura didn’t know how Peter could even walk, let alone that Peter killed a neighboring pack’s Alpha in his quest for power. He told Stiles about the Alpha’s mate following Peter from Beacon Hills to New York, arriving on their doorstep exhausted and still bleeding from his wounds to warn them about Peter.

Derek licked his lips and slowly, haltingly told Stiles about that night. How the dead Alpha’s mate had begged them for justice. Laura was the one who should have seen it done, but Peter had managed to take her unaware and sun her. Peter shoved his claws through Derek’s chest, and Derek had been sure he was dying, choking on his own blood, but he hadn’t been able to watch his sister die. Somehow, Derek found the strength to make one last desperate rush at his uncle, intending only to give Laura time to recover, but a frantic swipe of his claws had torn Peter’s throat open, while another pierced his heart. “And that’s how I became an Alpha,” he finished softly.

It was a lot for Stiles to take in, but he leaned in to give Derek a gentle kiss. “You saved your sister. I would’ve done the same thing to save my family. Or any of the pack… I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

Derek buried his face in Stiles’ neck, drawing in his scent. “Laura was afraid of me after that,” he said, his voice catching. “She tried to hide it so she could teach me about being an Alpha, but we both knew. Every time I got upset... That’s why I joined up, so she wouldn’t have to look at me and see a killer anymore.”

Stiles wanted to tell Derek that it was probably because new Alphas couldn't always control themselves, but it would sound like he was making excuses for Laura’s fear. He held Derek instead, stroking hands over him and kissing over his shoulder, keeping him close. “I’m not afraid of you,” he assured Derek quietly. “And I don't think you’re a murderer. You’re a good man, even if you’re a werewolf,” Stiles teased and kissed his shoulder again.

The laugh that tore out of Derek was an ugly thing, almost more like a sob. “I’m a killer. That’s what we do - we kill.”

“No, you’re not,” Stiles said and moved his hands to Derek’s face to make him look at him. “You do a job, but you’re not a killer. Killers and murderers are people that enjoy killing people without reason because they like to do it. It gives them some crazy kind of pleasure and you’re not like that. You saved your sister and you do a job because the military is utilizing werewolves. It’s not who you are. It’s just something that you do. Just because you’re a predator doesn't make you a killer.”

Derek went absolutely still against Stiles. “My mother used to say that,” he whispered, the words grating against a throat choked with tears.

“Well, she was right,” Stiles said, guiding Derek back to his neck in hopes that his scent would help him. He kissed Derek’s shoulder again before turning in to scent him in return. “You’re a good person. I believe that. Never think anything less of yourself.”

Derek breathed in, and Stiles knew that Derek would smell no disgust or fear in his scent, that Stiles was telling the truth. “Thank you,” Derek whispered.

“Don't have to thank me for believing in you and trusting you,” Stiles said softly, pressing a kiss against Derek’s temple and running a hand through Derek’s hair as he held him close. “I just wish that you believed it too…”

Derek turned in to Stiles’ neck and mouthed at the bruises there, scraping his teeth over the mark that should be permanent.

Stiles closed his eyes and gave a happy sigh, smiling at the feeling of Derek’s mouth and teeth against his neck. He’d almost begged Derek several times over the last week to claim him as his mate for real, but it would only make it worse when Derek left. Having a mate and not being able to be with them - he didn't understand how Allison ever survived Scott being away, much less how she was surviving now.

Derek stroked a hand down Stiles’ side, tugging Stiles close as he lay down on his own side, moving down to urge one leg up over his hip. “What about you? Tell me something no one else knows.”

Stiles pressed in close to Derek, hooking his calf over Derek’s hip and burying himself against Derek’s neck. Stiles breathed deeply, trying to find the strength to tell Derek what he’d never shared with anyone before, not even Scott. “When I was thirteen I took all of my mom’s leftover medication.” He had to pause and braced himself for the tension he knew he’d feel in Derek’s body, then said, “And then I went down to the lake on the preserve to drown myself. Pretty sure I succeeded. For a long time there was just nothing, not a white light, not my life flashing before my eyes… just, nothing. I woke up on the bank. I’m not sure how long I was gone or out or whatever, but when I woke up there was a woman there. I guess she found me and pulled me out, but she disappeared before I could say anything.” He kissed Derek’s shoulder to give himself a moment. “I think I heard a wolf howling sometime later, but everything was pretty foggy for a while.”

As Stiles talked, Derek’s arms tightened, holding Stiles closer. “This was the Beacon Hills preserve?” he asked, voice tight. “The woman... what did she look like?”

“I barely got a look at her,” Stiles confessed. “But she had dark hair and I think her eyes were dark, too. I was pretty out of it though. Wouldn't be surprised if I hallucinated the whole thing from all the medication.”

“You didn’t imagine it.” Derek paused, his arms tightening around Stiles more. “She - Was she wearing a necklace? A kind of silver, pretty thing?”

Stiles thought about it and his memory was pretty fuzzy in the aftermath of when he’d woken up. “Maybe? I remember something shiny, but I don't remember what it was.”

Derek kept holding him tight, brushing his lips over Stiles’ temple before he said, “That was my mother.”

“Your - how?” Stiles frowned as he thought about it. He supposed it shouldn't be a surprise that the Hales might’ve been in the area since he was on the preserve, but he’d gone out there to die and it had been the last thing on his mind.

Derek shook his head. “I don’t know, but it sounds like her. And you said you heard a wolf... It had to have been my mother. Laura nor I were able to shift like our mother until well after the fire. She probably saw something special in you. Maybe she knew you were an emissary.”

It was a nice thought, but if Talia Hale recognized Stiles she’d known he was the sheriff's kid and pulled his clumsy ass out of the water. Stiles sighed, trying to push away the memory. “My abilities started to manifest after that. I mean, I knew I was going to be an emissary, but I guess it got jump started by my death before Scott even turned into a werewolf.”

Derek pulled Stiles into his neck, the same way Stiles had one to him earlier and said, “I’m glad she was there.”

“Me too,” Stiles said softly, holding Derek close and nuzzling against his neck. “I know at the time I wanted to stay dead, but I’m glad I came back. I wouldn't be here if I hadn't.”

Derek nudged Stiles just enough to press a kiss to his lips. “You won’t do it again. Promise me.”

“I won't do it again,” Stiles promised, kissing Derek back softly. “I have too much to live for.” He swallowed against the tightness of his throat and after another kiss said, “Including you.”

Derek just kissed Stiles again, rolling him onto his back and settling between Stiles’ legs. “I want you.”

Stiles just kissed him in answer, wrapping his arms around Derek to keep him close. He tried not to think about the minutes ticking away to morning when he’d have to force himself to leave Derek at the airport. The loss hurt too much to think about and he wanted to enjoy what little time they had left together. He rolled up against Derek so he could feel him harden. “Just kiss me.” Stiles wasn't sleeping tonight and he wanted to make the hours they had left, last.

Derek kissed Stiles slow and deep, nipped along his jawline to his throat, where he sucked and licked and bit until Stiles was whimpering. Only then did Derek start making his way downward, moving along Stiles’ body, going from one mole to another, stringing kisses out along nonsensical lines while Derek’s hands kept moving, stroking and petting and teasing. There were hours left before Derek had to go, and Stiles knew they both intended to make good use of each and every minute.

***

> _Derek,_
> 
> _First of all, let me tell you from experience, that werewolves CANNOT get fat. It’s impossible. If they could, Scott would be the size of a blue whale. He can tell you all about the sweets that I made him eat when I started the bakery. Actually, the bakery started out in my apartment and everything that I make in the bakery now has been tested out on Scott. Since he’s been with WEREs the rest of the pack has had to endure my experiments in the kitchen and let me tell you, not a single one of them has gotten fat. Werewolf genetics make it absolutely impossible. Your metabolism is way too high. You don't even need to actually work out, but I’m sure you do it because it helps you calm down and release energy rather than actually keeping you in shape. I know Isaac, Jackson, Erica and Boyd run the preserve for the fun of it. I, on the other hand, avoid working out altogether. They leave me in the dust. There’s no point in trying to keep up. I’ve never really been a runner anyways._
> 
> _Unbalanced, huh? I guess you could say that, I mean… I don't really know that much about you. Sure, I know little things, but I feel like I’ve been doing all the talking if I’m being honest. Like, I know I ramble and it can become an issue, which is probably why you know so much about me already. I’m sorry if it’s getting on your nerves or anything. I talk a lot, both in writing and on paper. It’s kinda always been this way. It’s difficult for some people to keep up with me, so if I’m talking too much or too fast or jump around too often for you in my letters, then I apologize. I just feel like I have so much to say but have so little space to say it in. I can't exactly send you a ten page letter. Well, I could, but I doubt you would read it all. So I try to keep it short. If you can't already tell this letter seems like it’s a lot longer than the other ones I’ve sent you. I’m kinda in a rambling state of mind right now, I guess. More than usual._
> 
> _As for the things that I like to do, I guess it’s kind of sporadic. I, uh, I already mentioned in the first letter that I sent you that I like to read and research random stuff. That usually sends me on a tangent of random activities. Like, recently, I’ve started to try gardening. Nothing big, just some gardening in pots on my balcony. So far it’s been an_ epic fail _of the major proportions. It turns out that I don't actually have a green thumb like my mom did. Ha, go figure. She used to grow all the herbs that she used for cooking and kept annual flowers around. I, on the other hand, have to buy mine from the store because obviously this gardening thing isn’t working out for me. So that’s what my hobbies and activities outside of the bakery are like. It’s usually always something different, but my brain bounces around a lot like that, so for me it makes sense, while the pack might not understand it sometimes. I know Lydia is baffled sometimes by how often I change projects._
> 
> _Anyway, I feel like I really should be asking more about you, but I try not to pry. Which is probably why I talk a lot so we can have conversation without me trying to force you into talking about something that you don't want to. I mean, I know you mentioned your family died in a fire and I talked about my mom dying when I was a kid… I’d like to talk about those things later, you know, if things between us continue and you don't get tired of reading my letters._
> 
> _I sent you some Cookies & Creme bark and some truffles. I froze them before I packed them so hopefully they make it without melting. If they do you can just throw them in the freezer at the base and let them harden up before you open the package to try them. Let me know if you like them. And I’m still working on those donuts Alpha soldier dude._
> 
> _Stiles_


	7. Chapter 7

Stiles was holding a bag of frozen peas over his eye as he opened the door to let Lydia in. “I can only glare at you with one eyeball so I’d appreciate it if you saved that look for when I have the use of both my eyes back without having to strain one of them.”

Immediately, Lydia’s mouth dropped open, but shock quickly gave way to fury. “So this is why you didn’t want us to come over last night. Where the hell is he? Because I’m going to -”

“What? NO! I fell into the door when I was having a panic attack. Derek didn't hurt me! He wouldn't.” He couldn't believe that Lydia thought Derek would give him a black eye.

She snorted and pushed past him to walk into the kitchen. “You’re damn right he won’t.” Lydia didn’t even bother to look at him as she started rummaging through the fridge until she found the steak. She unwrapped it and held it out to Stiles. “Here. Use this, it’ll take the color out of it.” She shook her head. “I just can’t believe you think we’d accept this asshole as our new Alpha. But that’s okay. We’ll work with it. You can get him drunk on that wolfsbane-laced wine I gave you and then when he’s out, Jackson can -”

“Oh my god. NO. There’s no way in _HELL_ Jackson is going to be _MY_ Alpha.”

“Fine,” she sighed. “ _Isaac_ can do it, then.”

Stiles took the steak and shoved the frozen bag of peas at her so she could put them back into the freezer and slapped the steak onto his face. “No one is killing Derek! This is completely _my fault_. I used magic to close the door last week and the universe decided to bash my face in for it this week.” He sighed and leaned against the counter. “Double sucks that I was having a panic attack when it happened.”

Lydia put the peas away, then turned and smacked his shoulder. “You know better than that!” She smacked him again to drive her words home as she demanded, “What _(smack)_ have I told you _(smack)_ about magic for personal use?” _Smack smack smack._

“I know, I know! Ow! Stop! Injured here! Can't fight back! Don't make me zap you!” He let her beat on him some more and raised his hand to protect his face in case her smacking went off course. But Lydia’s accuracy was, as most things she did, unerring and done with a single-minded force. “Ow! Okay that’s enough.”

Lydia gave him one more smack, then pulled the bottle of white wine Stiles always put in to chill when she was coming over out. After she checked the label and nodded approvingly, she opened it and poured them each a glass. “At least you stopped buying that awful stuff in a box,” she commented as she handed him his glass. “You want to tell me why you thought you couldn’t just get up and close the door yourself now, or after I question Isaac and this mystery Alpha of yours?”

Stiles rolled his one working eye and took a drink of wine. “I was too busy enjoying the aftermath of an awesome orgasm with said Alpha to get out of bed.” She’d find out one way or another and with how hard Stiles was taking Derek’s absence, he needed her to know now rather than later. Stiles was going to need her if was going to keep his sanity.

Lydia raised a perfectly sculpted brow. “Well, at least _someone_ managed to enjoy my absence. Why didn’t you just tell him to close the door? Or leave it open?”

“Between the dash from the couch to the bed the door was kinda the last thing on our minds,” Stiles pointed out. “And we couldn't leave it open for Isaac’s viewing pleasure. So I closed it.” He drank more of his wine until it was gone and held the glass out for some more. “He went back to his unit.”

Lydia refilled Stiles’ wine glass, then gently pushed him towards the living room, waiting until they were both seated on the couch before she asked, “Is he coming back?”

“I don't know,” Stiles said honestly after another healthy sip. “He won't really have a lot of time in his line of work.” They both knew how little they’d seen Scott after he’d joined the WEREs. “If he does it won't be much more than a day or two if he can.”

Lydia squeezed Stiles’ leg. “I’m sorry.” She studied Stiles quietly. “Is he at least going to quit the unit?”

Stiles shook his head, taking another large gulp, hoping the wine would make the pain of both his eye and heart stop. “No. He helped us and now he’s going back to his life with the WEREs. He said to call if we need him, but I assume it’s strictly for Alpha needs.” He sighed and leaned more on the couch. “I still can't believe he’s gone…”

“What about for personal needs?” she asked softly. Lydia took a sip of her wine and watched her friend for a minute before she said, “You fell in love with him.”

Stiles gave a sad smile, feeling his eyes dampen as he confessed, “Yeah, I did.” He looked down into his glass, hating the pain that was swelling up inside of him. But to be honest, he was pretty sure that he started falling for Derek before he’d met him and had only fallen faster once he had. It wasn't as if his feelings were new, just stronger. Now he knew what it was like to share a bed with Derek and live with him and love him and it made it that much worse to lose him. “I don't know how to do this…” He could barely remember to breathe over the loss he felt.

Lydia set her glass down, took Stiles’ out of his hand and put it down as well, then pulled him into a hug. “I know, sweetie. I know,” she murmured.

Stiles did his best not to get the steak in her hair as he hugged her back, his grip tight on her as if she could keep him grounded. “I hate feeling like this… I hate thinking about never seeing him again. Lydia, what if he dies? I don't - I can't -” He felt like he was breaking into a million pieces and if this was what love felt like then he hated it.

“Hey, don’t think like that. He’s been with them a long time, right? So he’s got to be really good at what he does.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Stiles sniffled. She was right. Derek was good at what he did otherwise he wouldn't be with the WEREs. Stiles just wished he was _here_ and that Derek _wanted_ to stay. “I guess I just miss him.” He’d learn how to deal with it. He didn't have a choice.

“I know you do.” Lydia rubbed Stiles’ back. “What did he say when you asked him to stay?”

Stiles sighed and gave her a tight squeeze before leaning back against the couch again, dragging her along with him. “He said that emergency pack leave lasts only as long as the emergency and that everything was taken care of now. So he had to go back…”

“Bastard,” she muttered. “I’m sorry, sweetie. He at least told you he loves you back, though, right?”

Stiles didn't say anything for several long moments, fingering the hem of Lydia’s shirt to distract himself. “I didn't - I didn't tell him that I love him.” How the hell could he tell Derek something like that when he was leaving? “I didn't want him to not say it back…”

“You didn’t -” Lydia pushed herself back long enough to smack Stiles’ shoulder again, then hugged him. “What if he said it back? You aren’t really the type to -” She paused and sighed. “He’s an idiot if he doesn’t think you’re amazing.”

Stiles snorted, putting the steak back on his face, managing just barely not to ask if she classified herself in that category for the years and years that she’d ignored his existence when he’d been in love with her and she’d never returned his feelings. “Thanks. It doesn't help, but thanks for saying I’m amazing.” At least she thought he was now, even if they were just best friends.

They stayed like that for a little while before Lydia asked, “Time for The Notebook and ice cream?” It was their little ritual, one that had started after Stiles’ first boyfriend dumped him the morning after graduation, saying he wanted time to ‘play the field’ before they went off to college.

“I made sure to get that ice cream you like,” Stiles said, even if he thought it was disgusting. “And I bought a new kind to try. White Chocolate Raspberry Cheesecake. Hopefully it’s good…” Stiles needed to drown himself in ice cream right about now.

Lydia gave Stiles a squeeze before she got up to get the DVD she’d tucked into her purse. “It sounds great.” But Stiles knew that Lydia would think it was the most disgusting thing ever and would eat every bite of it and swear it was delicious.

***

> _Dear Stiles,_
> 
> _Well, I asked for it and I got it. I enjoyed reading your last letter. Have I told you that I’ve started imagining your voice? I have no idea if it’s close to the real thing, but I hear something in my head as I read your words and it’s almost like you’re sitting here next to me. I don’t mind the rambling, it feels like I’m getting all the thoughts in your head. It gives me a better idea of what kind of person you are._
> 
> _You certainly put me in my place about eating sweets. Since you’ve reminded me of this fact, I’ve decided that you must increase the amount you send me. You know, since it won’t make me fat. The bark and truffles were pretty melted when they arrived, but I did what you suggested and froze them up. Both were so delicious. I have a weakness for white chocolate (maybe for future reference ;-) )._
> 
> _Now that you mentioned it, I suppose I haven’t really told you much about myself besides what happened to my family and what I do as a part of WERES. So here’s one tidbit. I’m quite fond of gardening myself. I’ve always enjoyed being outdoors, and my family used to grow a huge vegetable garden every year. Once my mother figured out I was good at it, she had me out with her every chance we got._
> 
> _Maybe we should make a deal? Someday I can teach you about gardening, and you can return the favor with baking. Unless you have a black thumb. I’m afraid then it would be hopeless._
> 
> _Derek_

 

***

Kali sat across from Derek on her bunk, tossing him a pack of Reese's cups. “So when are you taking leave to see that boy of yours?” Ever since Derek returned to WEREs a month ago, he’d been either moping around the barracks or exercising himself to death.

Derek ignored the candy in favor of the chocolate butterscotch chip cookie he’d dug out of the package he found on his bunk when they’d gotten back. It took a minute to realize what Kali was asking, but he folded his letter and looked up at her. “Thanksgiving.” That was still five long months away, though.

Kali nodded, opening a pack of M&Ms.“Pretty far out,” she said, commenting on the obvious and ate a few M&Ms. She watched Derek quietly. “Have you thought about staying with your pack? Permanently, I mean.”

Only every single night since Derek had gotten on that damn plane. “They’re fine without me.” Better than fine, from what Stiles said. Having him there would probably just disrupt things, since they were settling back into a routine now that Allison and the pups were home. “And I’m needed here.”

Kali’s mouth turned up at the corner briefly. “The WEREs were fine without us before we both joined. I think they’ll be fine if you decide to stay with your pack. I’m not saying you’re not wanted here, because you know you are, but I don't think you’re taking being away from them too well.”

“I’m fine,” Derek said automatically. He couldn’t tell her that his pack wasn’t really his pack, that he was only the honorary Alpha that kept the wolves outside from attacking while Stiles was the heart and soul of the pack that made it all work. “Stiles says McCall’s pups are starting to walk in human form now.”

“They’re gonna be a handful,” Kali said with a real smile. “Did he send you pictures?”

“Yeah.” Derek pulled up his photo folder on his phone and passed it to her. “They’re pretty cute, aren’t they?”

She held the phone and chuckled. “That one looks just like McCall,” she said and pointed then scrolled to the next picture before handing the phone back. She smiled sadly and looked down at her candy. “If I had someone, I wouldn't be wasting my time here,” she said carefully. “I’d want to be with them. What we do, Derek… it’s not a life more important than being with the people we care about.”

“We’re keeping them safe.” That was what they did, they made the world safe for people like Stiles and Allison and the pups that were growing up without their father because Derek had fucked up. The least he could do was go on making sure they were safe. Stiles would take care of the rest. “Stiles knows why I’m here, and he’s okay with it.”

She tilted her head and gave him a look he knew too well. “Did you talk to him about it or did you feed him your line about keeping them safe and watch him accept it?” She sighed. “Look… I know you’re going to do what you want to do, but WEREs will be here keeping civilians safe regardless of who’s serving. You’re not keeping the country safe by yourself.”

Derek scowled at her. “What do you care, anyway? It’s not your pack.” Was this Kali’s way of trying to get control of the unit? She’d been in charge while he was on leave - had she decided she liked it enough to want to do it all the time? Did she think she was a better leader for the unit than he was?

Kali held up her hand, palm out, at his defense. “Because I know what it’s like to lose a mate and what it’s like to be without the person you love. You know I lost Ennis before I joined and if he was still here, this is the last place I would be. I wouldn't want to regret not being there if something happened to him and losing the life we could’ve had. I just think it’s something to consider, but if you’re happy with the way things are then that’s your choice.”

There really wasn’t much Derek could say to that. He wasn’t happy, and he was pretty sure everyone in the unit knew it, but until now, nobody had said anything because he put them through one grueling PT drill after another whenever the subject came up. “Stiles and I... we’re not like you and Ennis.” They weren’t real mates, and Stiles was doing just fine without him.

“You seem miserable without him,” she said with a raise of her shoulder. “Just like I am without Ennis.” She ate some more M&Ms and moved over to sit on Derek’s bunk next to him. “You know you should share your cookies with your elder. What did Stiles write about this time? More special recipes?”

Derek handed her the letter, then turned around to get her a cookie as well. Kali’s sweet tooth was well known in the unit, and he wasn’t the only one who’d gotten her to take his cleaning duty in the bathroom by offering up a few Hershey bars. When he turned back around, cookie in hand, it was to see Kali _sniffing his letter_. His eyes immediately flashed red and he heard the cookie snap in half as he demanded, “Give it back. _Now_.”

“I’m not trying to steal your mate,” she commented and continued to sniff the letter then frowned. “You’re an idiot if you think he’s fine without you,” she said and pushed the letter up against his nose. “Smell that. Really smell it and not just take a whiff.” She took the broken cookie from Derek’s hand with her free one.

Derek snatched the letter back, yanking it out of her hand so hard it was a wonder it remained intact. He raised the letter and took a deep breath, closing his eyes as he savored the scent of Stiles. It wasn’t as good as having his nose buried in Stiles’ neck, but it was a close second, even if it wasn’t as concentrated as he might have liked. Maybe Derek could ask him for another shirt... “It smells like Stiles.”

“Yeah, it does,” she agreed and took a bite of her broken cookie. “But you’re just smelling his scent, you’re not focusing on what it’s communicating. He smells just as miserable as you smell.”

“I smell - Really?” He couldn’t be _that_ unhappy, could he? Nobody had ever commented on his scent giving off emotions. Derek thought he’d learned how to conceal them. He breathed in against the letter again, and maybe the scent wasn’t really as perfect as it had been when he’d been able to scent Stiles directly, but that was just because it wasn’t fresh, right? “He says he’s happy, though. See? Right here.”

She looked at the letter. “Yeah, well, you say that you’re fine too,” she pointed out. “And no one in their right mind would tell their mate that’s off doing life and death missions that they aren’t happy. It’s the last thing anyone needs to be focusing on in that situation. You’d be too distracted otherwise. Plus that’s the only thing he says in the entire letter about himself.”

“No it’s not.” Derek frowned and scanned the letter. He could’ve sworn Stiles said more about himself than that. He read about playing with the pups, how fast they were growing, how Allison was settling in, about the new outfit that Lydia bought and the earrings Jackson had gotten her to go with it, about Isaac’s school schedule and even a particularly demanding customer at the shop, but nothing else about Stiles himself. “Oh my God.” Looking up from the letter, Derek stared at Kali. “Why wouldn’t he tell me about himself?”

“There’s not a point in writing about yourself or telling anyone something about you when you’re sad all the time. He’s probably trying to deal with it without affecting you. At least that’s what I would do if I were trying to be a good mate. I wouldn't want to make Ennis sad with sad letters.”

Derek looked back down at the letter. “Maybe I should ask him about it,” he muttered. Stiles would tell him the truth if he asked, he knew he would. But if he said that Kali was right, there was really only one thing Derek could do about it, and he wasn’t sure Stiles would want him to do that.

She patted his thigh and reached over to steal another cookie from his stash. “Still time left in the day. You should call him now before we get another mission.”

Derek nodded. “Yeah, I think I will.” He picked his phone up, then grabbed the bag Stiles had put the cookies in before he got up and headed for the visitors’ room they all used when they wanted to make private phone calls, waiting until both he and the cookies were safely behind a closed door before he sat down and pulled up Stiles’ name on his contact list.

~

Stiles groaned and blindly reached for his phone. He felt like he was dying from exhaustion and loneliness, groping and slapping around for the noise until he found it and slid his thumb across the screen, shoving it up to his ear. “Hello?” He knew he sounded like shit and he hoped the pack could do without him for the next several hours so he could attempt to sleep.

“Did I wake you?” Derek hesitated. “I’m sorry. I can call back later.”

Stiles frowned, running a hand over his face as his brain tried to catch up with the conversation. “Derek?” He rolled over onto his back and yawned. “No. It’s okay. Are you okay?”

“Yeah. I mean, no, not really…Are you? Okay, I mean.”

Stiles was already drifting off just at the sound of Derek’s voice when his brain reminded him he was supposed to be speaking. “Well I’m not bleeding to death so I’d count that as a win. What’s wrong?”

“Your letter... you didn’t really talk about yourself, just the pups and the pack. I was wondering if everything’s all right. It seemed a little... “ Derek sighed and asked, “Are you really okay? I just want to make sure you’re not miserable or anything.”

Oh. _Great_. Stiles forced himself to sit up and sighed, running his hand over his face again and tried to figure out what to say. He couldn't tell Derek that he missed him horribly and he couldn't sleep without him next to him. Or that he wanted him here with him. Derek had a life with the WEREs where he wanted to be and they were just the consolation prize of Scott’s death. “I just… didn't have anything to say about myself.” Nothing happy at least. Stiles _was_ miserable.

“You didn’t answer my question,” Derek said quietly. “About you really being okay.”

Stiles swallowed against the thickness building in his throat, feeling like he was going to choke on his loneliness, trying not to give in and tell Derek everything. He felt nauseated, fighting against the urge to vomit, knowing it was because he was afraid of what Derek might say. “Would it even matter if I wasn’t?” he asked softly. “The pack is fine and no one is trying to hurt us.”

“Of course it matters.”

Stiles thought he might suffocate with how tight his chest became with those words. “I wish you could come back before Thanksgiving,” he settled on. After a moment he drew in a deep breath, managing not to barf. “I miss you.”

“I miss you too.” Derek was quite on the line for several moments. “Maybe I can manage something earlier.”

“You think they’d let you?” Stiles tried not to sound too hopeful because he knew that he’d end up disappointed if Derek couldn't manage to come before Thanksgiving. “But… does that mean they’d take away your Thanksgiving leave?”

“I don’t know. It probably depends on what we’re needed for,” Derek said carefully.

“Okay,” Stiles said softly, knowing he sounded defeated. “When do you have to get off the phone? Are you leaving again soon?”

“We’re done for the day, so I don’t have a time I have to get off. And hopefully we’ll be here for a while before we leave again.”

“Are you stateside?” Stiles asked, laying back down and pulling his covers over himself. If Derek was, he was seriously considering taking the next flight out if it meant he could see Derek, even if only for a little while.

“No, we’re overseas. But I got your letter. And the cookies are delicious.”

Stiles’ heart sank, but he managed to smile just a little because Derek liked his cookies. “I’ll make some more and send them out soon so you can have some more whenever you get back.” It would take a while for Derek to get them overseas, but now that he knew he’d just start sending a package every couple of weeks. “If you manage to come stateside, even if you can't take leave, let me know… maybe… maybe I can come see you?”

“You’re determined to make me fat, aren’t you?” Derek said with a teasing tone in his voice. “And I’d like that. I’d say you should come anyway, but I don’t think you’d want to fly all the way out here for a few days.”

Stiles didn't laugh, even though he wanted to remind Derek about his awesome werewolf genetics that would never allow him to become fat. “I can't really afford to fly overseas just for a few days.” If he was going to fly that far, he’d want to stay and make a whole vacation out of it, but he wouldn't be able to since Derek wouldn't be there long, he assumed.

“I know.” They both fell silent for a while, nothing but their breathing sounding over the line. “Have you had trouble with any other Alphas?” Derek asked, breaking the comfortable silence.

“Hm?” Stiles mumbled and rubbed at his eyes again. “No. Haven't had any trouble with any Alphas. Have some requests for alliances, but I told them we’d have to wait until Thanksgiving until you were here to discuss it fully.”

“You sound tired. Are you sure you don’t want me to let you go? I can call back later, when you’ve had time to get some more sleep.”

“No, don't go, please.” Stiles blinked several times, trying to wake up more so Derek would stay on the phone with him. “I don't want you to go… just - stay, okay? For a little while?” If he had to he’d talk about the pups for hours. He’d find the energy.

“Hey, it’s all right. I’ll stay as long as you want me to. I just don’t want to keep you up if you need the sleep.”

Stiles relaxed back into bed, trying to control himself so he wouldn't have a panic attack just at the thought of Derek leaving. Again. Even if it was on the phone this time. “How about forever? Does forever work for you?” he mumbled quietly, snuggling into his blankets. He hadn't felt this relaxed since Derek left.

“That works just fine. I think our phone plan providers might have something to say about it, though.”

“Well being an emissary I’ll age slower than humans,” Stiles mumbled. “And being your mate will make me age the same rate as you… I think we can make it work. Plus, unlimited minutes.”

Derek listened to Stiles as his breathing evened and his words became slow and almost slurred. Derek was pretty sure Stiles was close to sleep, but he waited until he was almost there before he asked, “Do you want to be my mate? For real?”

Stiles made a sleepy sound before he said, “Be your mate for real. Need you Derek.”

If Derek had any doubts left, they all fled at those words. “I’m going to see about leaving WEREs and coming home,” Derek told him. “For good.” But there was no response, no alarm or glee, and he frowned. “Stiles?”

The only thing that answered Derek was Stiles breathing evenly and then snoring through the phone line. Derek smiled and said quietly, “Sweet dreams.” He didn’t hang up right away, though. Instead, he stayed on the line, listening to Stiles sleep, thinking about how it had felt to share a bed with him and how much he wanted to do it again. At last he hung up, then pushed himself out of his chair and headed off to find Kali. Hopefully she knew what he’d have to do to start the discharge process.


	8. Chapter 8

Jackson pushed the door to the kitchen open hard enough that it kept swinging behind him as he stalked in. “Stiles, I need you to come deal with this asshole out front. He wants to see the owner and he won’t tell me why, just said to go get you, like I was your fucking servant.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “Talk about a dickwad.”

Stiles looked dead on his feet. “Well make him go away. I’m busy. Give him a free donut or something.” Stiles was really trying not to screw up the batch of cookies he was making, like he had the last three.

“I tried that.” Jackson gave him a look that said clearer than words that he knew what he was doing. “He doesn’t want anything, not even a drink. He just said he needs to see you.” He snorted. “Jackass seems to think because he’s got a fucking uniform on that we all have to grovel for him.”

Stiles froze, staring down at the little balls of dough he was pressing onto the cookie sheet. Men showing up in uniform didn't mean good things. It meant that people were dead and the only person he knew in the military was Derek. Derek was registered as their Alpha. Of course they would come to tell them if something happened. He gripped the table and tried to control his breathing, knuckles white as he fought a full on panic attack. “He didn't say anything else?” he breathed, heart ready to beat right out of his chest. He couldn't do this again. He couldn't deal with another death, especially not Derek’s. “I think I’m gonna be sick.” He’d burnt the last three batches of cookies he’d made to send Derek. And now Derek was dead.

“Why? It’s not like we should give a shit about those military douches anymore.”

“Tell him I’ll be out in a couple of minutes.” Stiles had to make sure he didn't have a breakdown right in the middle of his shop, which he wasn't sure he could prevent anyway when he was faced with the fact of Derek’s death. He watched Jackson leave and Stiles leaned completely on the counter, breathing quickly before managing to sink down onto the floor instead of collapsing like he wanted to. He sat there for several minutes, going through his panic attack until he looked worse than death. He was pale and sweating and Stiles couldn't remember the last time he’d slept more than an hour or two at a time in a whole day. Much less eat like he was supposed to. He pulled himself up off the floor and sighed. He didn't have a choice.

Stiles forced himself to walk out of the kitchen, eyes searching for the military man that Jackson hated and he dreaded. Stiles rubbed at his eyes, obviously out of his mind with what he was seeing. He was straight on hallucinating from lack of sleep. “D-Derek?”

Instantly, Derek stopped glaring at Jackson and focused on Stiles. “Stiles.” Derek took a step towards Stiles then stopped. “Are you okay?”

A rush of relief hit Stiles and he was either about to throw himself at Derek or a hallucination, but it didn't stop him as he surged forward, burying himself against Derek’s chest and wrapping his arms around him tightly. “Jackson said - I thought - You’re alive,” he breathed, turning into Derek’s neck to breathe in his scent.

Derek caught Stiles automatically, burying his nose in Stiles’ neck. Derek frowned and pulled back enough to look at Stiles. “You thought I was dead?”

“The last time men showed up dressed in military uniforms was when Scott died. Of course I thought something happened to you! Don't ever scare me like that again!”

“Sorry,” Derek offered. “I thought I was - I mean, I didn’t know when I was going to be able to get away, so I figured I’d just... surprise you.”

“Derek... wait a second,” Jackson interrupted. “You mean this asshole’s the new - ohhh, hell no!”

Stiles gave Jackson his best death glare. “He’s your Alpha. Show some respect.” If Stiles wasn't so exhausted he’d put Jackson on his knees with a snap of his fingers. Stiles buried himself against Derek again, holding him tight and taking in deep breaths to savor the scent he hadn't had in months. “We should go to the back.”

“Yeah, okay.” Derek followed Stiles into the kitchen, taking an appreciative sniff of the baking goods. “Did you burn something?”

Stiles glared. “No.” It was an obvious lie, both in his heartbeat and the smell in the kitchen, on top of the burnt cookies in the trash. “I never burn anything.” At least he hadn't in a very long time. Stiles leaned against the counter, relaxing at Derek’s presence. He reached out to pull him in close again. “I can't believe you’re here… I’ve missed you so much.”

“Missed you too.” Derek ran a hand along Stiles’ spine, moving up and down as he moved in closer and leaned in again to rub a cheek over Stiles’ neck. “Need to make you smell like me again.”

Stiles wrapped his arms around Derek again, keeping Derek flush to him and sighed in contentment at having him so close and being able to feel Derek’s stubble rub against his neck again. “How long are you going to be in town?” Stiles was willing to close the shop early just so he could go back home with Derek for however long they had.

“A while,” Derek answered, moving over to rub his cheek against the other side of Stiles’ neck. Derek’s hands slid down to close on Stiles’ ass, squeezing as he pressed in as close as possible. “Why, did you have plans?”

“None,” Stiles said and kissed Derek’s neck as he tucked himself against him tighter, afraid that this was all a hallucination. Stiles couldn't lose this again. “And even if I did I’d cancel them just to be with you. I’m glad you’re going to be around for a while.” Maybe Stiles could finally get some sleep.

Derek nuzzled in a little more, then backed off and nudged Stiles’s head far enough back to kiss him, a light press of lips that soon deepened and turned wet and hungry. Derek was breathing unsteadily when they parted. “When can you go home?”

Stiles was exhausted, but also too happy about Derek being home to care about how tired he was. “Now. I’ll leave now. There’s plenty left for the day… I was just working on cookies to send to you. Jackson can take care of the shop and close up.”

“Is that what you burned?” Derek chuckled, then kissed Stiles lightly. “You can make me some more later.” Another light kiss. “And maybe this time I can help. Even if helping consists of making out while we wait for the cookies to finish baking.” Derek smiled and held Stiles closer. “Are you sure you’re okay to leave now? I can wait if you want me to.”

Stiles kissed him back. “I’ll talk to Jackson… but I’m ready to leave. Burning three batches of cookies means I’m done for the day, especially since I never burn anything. Isaac is coming into work in a couple of hours so he’ll be here to help Jackson close.”

Derek nuzzled his way back down to Stiles’ neck to suck hard, leaving a mark Stiles knew declared Derek’s possession over him. “Should probably move so we can leave,” Derek mumbled,

Stiles stroked his fingers through Derek’s hair, holding him close to his neck and savoring the feeling of Derek marking him and fuck he missed that. “Go get my Jeep?” he asked and pushed a hand between them to get his keys from his pocket and handed them to Derek. “I’ll let Jackson know I’m leaving.”

Derek nodded and kissed Stiles briefly, then followed him out into the shop to retrieve his duffle and go get the Jeep. After a few minutes, Stiles came outside and grinned as Derek drove up in his Jeep. “Need a lift?” Derek teased and grinned at Stiles.

Stiles leaned against the Jeep and smiled big and bright at Derek. “Well, you’re kinda hot. I think I’ll let you give me a ride,” he teased back and lingered a bit before he pulled the door open and hopped in. “Let’s go home.”

“One trip home, coming up,” Derek agreed, putting the Jeep in gear. Stiles had to give Derek directions a couple of times, but it wasn’t long before they were pulling into the parking spot for Stiles’ apartment and turning the engine off. Derek climbed out and retrieved his bag, slinging the strap over his shoulder. “Think you can spare me a drawer or two?”

Stiles joined Derek and smiled, leaning against him as they walked towards the building. “With that bag I’ll probably have to clean out the whole chest,” he chuckled. “I can fit my clothes in my dresser if you need all the space in the chest. Or you know, you can just put your clothes in with mine.”

“That sounds good,” Derek agreed with a smile, wrapping his free arm around Stiles’ shoulders. Once they were in the apartment, Derek asked, “Want me to go put this in the bedroom?”

“Yeah, if you want. Or you can leave it in the living room and put it up later. Whatever you want to do. I mean, the whole place is ours. Isaac moved back onto campus and no ones been staying here but me.” Stiles kicked his shoes off and threw himself down onto the couch, stretching out and sighing. He smiled up at Derek. “Get your sexy self over here.”

Derek dropped his bag by the door and followed Stiles to the couch, giving him a nudge to scoot him over so there was room for him. He lay down, settling one hand on Stiles’ hip. “You know, there’s a bed big enough for both of us just down the hall...”

“Well I was thinking more of you laying on _top_ of me, but if you wanna lay next to me that’s just as good.” Stiles smiled and kissed him, tucking himself against Derek and breathed him in deeply. “And I’m too tired to walk all the way to the bed. If you wanna go to the bed you’re gonna have to drag me off the couch and to it.”

Derek ran his hand up and down Stiles’ side, slipping up under his shirt to seek out the warmth of his skin. “Why are you that tired?” he asked quietly, frowning. “Did you stay up late last night?”

Stiles shook his head, already starting to doze off with Derek’s warmth and scent wrapped around him, Derek’s voice lulling him into sleep. “Haven't been able to sleep since you left,” he mumbled tucking himself in closer to Derek. “Glad you’re here. Don't want you to leave.”

Derek’s hand moved over to Stiles’ back, rubbing along his spine. He shifted, getting a little more comfortable, one leg moving in between Stiles’ as he listened to his heartbeat slow and his breathing even out. “I’m not,” he said quietly when he thought Stiles was asleep. “Ever again.”

***

> _Derek,_
> 
> _Did you just (gasp!) - you actually wrote me a winky face. Oh my god, Derek Hale is not a robot soldier. I was starting to wonder there if you had any personality at all. Alas, it’s finally showing. I feel like I should be getting a reward or medal or something for pulling that winky face out of you. Like a ‘congrats you made Lt Derek Hale smile/wink’. Yep, it should be a medal. Or maybe some kind of cup with my name written across it. Either way, it deserves recognition. I think you should be rewarded too. With some more white chocolate goodies._
> 
> _In all honesty, I think I started imagining your voice before I even realized I was doing it. I feel like I should be able to call you and Scott just to talk to the both of you, but I know that’s impossible because of the job you are doing with WEREs. I know that other than letters and the boxes of treats that I send you and the troops are the only methods of contact that we’re allowed to have. Otherwise, it would be too dangerous trying to call either of you while you’re out in wherever the hell is your missions take you. I know you can't even tell me anything about what your job actually is, but I know enough to know that everything is top secret stuff. But, uh, I would be lying if I didn't say I think it’s awesome that you’ve started to think about my voice. I mean, you already know what I look like. Hopefully you’re not imagining something annoying, though. Hahaha. (Now I’m going to be paranoid that you’re imagining me with an annoying voice. I promise you I don't have a voice like that.)_
> 
> _But, we must discuss this sweets thing. So you want more sweets huh? How is it fair for me to send you more sweets just because you won't get fat? I think I should send you extra sweets only if you share more about yourself with me. I really enjoyed what you told me about your mother, you and the vegetable garden you grew every year. I feel like it kind of gives me an insight of who you are, even just a little bit, outside of this thing you do with WEREs. What kind of vegetables did you grow every year? Did you grow fruit, too? I would love to grow some fruit. It would be awesome to be able to use fresh fruit from my own garden at the bakery. Alas, my gardening skills stump my efforts._
> 
> _And you’ve got a deal. I’ll try to teach you about baking and you can try to teach me about gardening, but I think my (probably) black thumb won't leave much hope. You’re gonna have to do the gardening for me. ;)_
> 
> _By the way, other than the regular cookie delivery, I’ve included white chocolate s’mores gooey cake bars and white chocolate oreo chunk cookies. I hope you like them. I tried to test them out on Isaac but he apparently dislikes white chocolate (which I don't get) so that means you’re the first one to taste them, other than myself of course._
> 
> _Stiles_

 

***

Stiles rolled over and buried his face into a pillow, smiling when he was greeted with Derek’s scent. He rubbed his face on it and wrapped his arms around it, laying there for a few minutes just so he could breathe in that perfect scent. Stiles opened his eyes when he smelled food and his stomach growled in response. He was starving, but that wasn't really surprising since he hasn’t been eating normally the past several months. Or sleeping. He felt so rested. He sighed and forced himself out of bed, frowning when he realized he was naked and snorted. He shouldn't be surprised Derek stripped him down since he’d moved him to their bed. Stiles scratched his stomach and yawned as he walked out of the bedroom and into the kitchen. “Hey sexy,” he said with a smile, seeing Derek cooking breakfast. “Make enough for a werewolf plus one?”

Derek whirled around, eyes widening as he saw Stiles. “You’re up.” Dropping the spatula he was holding, he hurried over to wrap his arms around Stiles, burying his face in his neck.

“Hey, it’s okay, I’m awake,” Stiles assured Derek and wrapped his arms around him. “Sorry I slept in late. I was exhausted.”

“You’ve been asleep for a week,” Derek said against Stiles’ neck, still holding him tightly. “I was almost ready to call Deaton.”

“I - what?” How the fuck could he have been asleep for a _week_?! “A week. You can't be serious. A whole week?” Stiles had been ready to call Deaton or anyone if Derek slept more than two days before, he wouldn't have been able to wait a whole week!

“Yeah.” Derek nuzzled Stiles again. “I tried to wake you up to eat a few times, but you didn’t move. You smelled okay, though, so I thought maybe you just needed sleep.”

“I’m sorry,” Stiles said and held Derek closer. “I didn't mean to… the longest I’ve ever slept was a couple of days before. I didn't think I’d be out that long.” He hated that he’d worried Derek so much and he felt even worse because Derek was going to start asking questions and Stiles was going to have to tell him that he couldn't sleep without him there.

Derek nodded and took a deep, Stiles-scented breath before he backed away enough to let Stiles breathe. “You said you were hungry. I can get you some -” The smoke alarm went off before Derek was able to finish the sentence, the high-pitched screech enough to make Derek reel back and clap his hands over his ears.

Stiles hurried over to the stove to move the pan off the burner and grabbed a dishcloth to wave around in front of the smoke alarm. Once the alarm stopped beeping, he went to open the front door to air out the apartment, grabbing some discarded pajama pants and pulled them on. “Are you okay?” he asked Derek once he returned.

“Yeah. Sorry, didn’t mean to burn it. I can make more.”

“Okay,” Stiles said and grabbed the pan to scrape off the burnt bacon into the trashcan. “Probably should just get a new pan…” He didn't want to wash this one and there were charred pieces of bacon he thought might never come off. “I can make some waffles too. Do you want some?”

“Yeah, that sounds great.” Derek went to the fridge to get more bacon and eggs out. “How many eggs do you want?”

“Um, just one. I don't want to get sick from eating too much.” With bacon, an egg and waffles Stiles would be surprised if he wasn't rolling on the floor in pain or stuck in the restroom from all the food. He got the mix out and grabbed a bowl. “How many waffles do you want?”

“Just one.” Derek put most of the eggs back into the carton.

“Are you sure you don't want an army of waffles?” Stiles smiled and glanced over at him, putting some mix into his bowl. “I mean, I’m used to feeding werewolves. You guys can be endless pits and still never gain an ounce. Imagine feeding a pack.” He laughed.

“One’s good,” Derek assured Stiles. “Does toad in the hole sound good for the egg?”

“I’ve never had that before. I usually just eat mine scrambled. Can you just scramble mine?” Stiles would be lucky if he could eat one egg, one slice of bacon and one waffle without puking. He mixed the batter up and spooned some into the waffle maker. “So how long do I get to keep you? I mean, you said a while, which is great.”

Derek cracked the eggs in a bowl and grabbed a fork to whisk them up before he added milk. “I was thinking somewhere around thirty or forty years - if that’s all right with you.”

Stiles leaned against the counter, watching Derek work, a small smile on his lips. “Only forty? That’s not even a human lifetime. I won't even be seventy in forty years and I’m sure I’ll still look just as young,” he teased.

Derek let out a slow, relieved breath and looked over at Stiles. “So you don’t think you’ll get tired of me if I stay a long time, then?”

Stiles tried to fight the sudden tightness of his throat, thinking back to the last conversation he’d had with Derek. He was nervous, chewing on his bottom lip in thought as he watched him. “I wouldn't get tired of you,” he assured Derek. “And I want you to stay, but I know you have to go back to the WEREs eventually. I mean, you already explained that was, you know, kinda it for you. Unless you had Alpha business here or leave.”

Derek bent down to get a pan and put it on the stove to heat, then grabbed a rubber spatula and poured the eggs in. “I’m actually not part of WEREs anymore. I, uh, I was discharged the day before I got here. For good.”

Stiles’ face scrunched up on confusion, wanting to ask Derek why he’d been discharged, if it had been involuntary or if he’d decided to leave himself, but most of all he was just _shocked_. He wasn't even sure what to say, trying to keep his selfish urge to jump for joy to himself. “Did you get discharged because of the pack?” he finally asked quietly. “I know how much being in WEREs means to you… if it’s our fault they let you go maybe I can talk to them. I want you to be happy, not miserable here with us if you wanna be out there with them.”

Derek frowned down at the eggs, scrambling even faster. “They don’t care about the pack. It’s - I wanted to -” Derek finished the eggs and moved the pan off the heat, then turned the stove off and crossed his arms over his chest as he leaned against the counter. “I wanted to be here. For you. All the time.”

“I - really?” Stiles couldn't believe it. He couldn't believe that Derek would leave his precious WEREs, something he’d been part of for a very long time, to be here with him. He stared at Derek for a minute before he moved over to him and leaned in to kiss him. “I want you here with me,” he assured him. “All the time. For the next gazillion years if we could live that long.”

Derek smiled and kissed Stiles, pulling him in close. “That sounds good,” he said, nudging Stiles’ forehead lightly with his own. “Does this mean you aren’t going to want to go back to bed for another week after breakfast?”

“As long as I don't have to sleep,” Stiles said with a chuckle. “What did you have in mind?” Stiles kissed him again, wrapping his arms around Derek, tracing fingers up his back. Stiles was good for bed as long as Derek wasn't expecting him to hibernate for another week.

Derek’s hands slid down to cup Stiles’ ass, pulling him up against his hardening dick. “I think you can guess.” Derek kissed Stiles, long and wet and deep, nipping his lip when he had to pull back to breathe.

Stiles smiled and kissed Derek again, about to suggest they go straight back to bed when his stomach growled loudly in protest. Stiles laughed. “Uh, we should probably eat first. Especially since I haven’t eaten much the last several months to begin with.”

Derek pulled away to look at Stiles, his scowl deepening as he raised a hand to trace one rib. “Why haven’t you eaten?”

Stiles raised a shoulder, looking down at Derek’s fingers tracing a rib and he was suddenly aware of how skinny he probably was now. And unattractive. It was like being a scrawny kid all over again. “I told you… I was having problems sleeping when you left.” Stiles ran a hand over his face and sighed. “And eating. I ate, just not a lot.”

Derek shook his head and swallowed hard. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because it wasn't a pack emergency and you couldn't have done anything anyway. I didn't want to worry you. Even if you could’ve gotten away with leave you still would have had to go back. And I would’ve been here going through the same thing again.”

“You said you were fine.” Derek sighed and shook his head. “I’m sorry. I should’ve known...”

“You couldn't have… because I didn't tell you. I didn't want you to be worrying about me and end up dead because you were distracted. You don't have to be sorry… it was something that I had to deal with because I missed you.”

“I should’ve,” Derek said again. “You should be able to trust me with whatever you’re feeling.” He turned away, grabbing the pan with the eggs, scraping it all out onto one plate. “Here. I can finish whatever you don’t want.”

“Derek I can't eat all of this,” Stiles said as he looked down at the plate. “Unless you want me to be stuck in the bathroom all day. I can't just stuff my face when I haven't been eating normally.” Stiles sighed and put the plate down, then popped out Derek’s waffle onto a plate for him. He guessed he was just eating eggs and nothing else then. Stiles grabbed a fork and went to the table to pick at his eggs and eat slowly.

Derek took the waffle over to the table and set it down beside Stiles. “I’ll make myself another one. Do you want bacon? Or I can go to the store and get some sausage. Or maybe chicken noodle soup?”

“I can't eat all this,” Stiles said as he motioned to the food in front of him. “So I’m gonna say no to the bacon and maybe some soup would be good later, but not right now.” Stiles felt like he was going to end up sitting at the table all day like a kid in trouble until he ate all his food. Hell, he’d have to sit there all day just to finish three eggs and a waffle.

“Okay.” Derek sat down next to him and reached out to break off a piece of the waffle. “I’ll get soup after breakfast.”

Stiles just nodded and focused on eating at least one egg and one triangle of waffle before he pushed his plate over to Derek. Stiles was trying his best not to be sick, since he doubted Derek would like if he puked the little food that he’d eaten up. “I like soup,” he said after the long silence. “Lots of different soup.”

Derek smiled and kissed Stiles, then picked up the dishes and took them into the kitchen. He finished off the rest of the waffle, put dishes into the dishwasher then placed the pots in water to soak. When Derek was done, he came out and offered Stiles a hand up. “Let’s get you settled on the couch. Then I’ll grab a shower and go to the store. Sound good?”

“Yeah, okay,” Stiles said, standing with Derek’s help. “You sure you don't want me to go with you?” Stiles walked to the couch and curled up on his side, trying to tug Derek down with him. “Or you could stay and snuggle with me.”

“I want you to rest and get strong,” Derek said, grabbing a blanket and tucking it around him. “I’ll snuggle with you when I get back. Promise.”

Stiles thought he could get stronger if Derek gave him a blowjob, but he didn't say that and pulled the blanket up over himself more. “Okay. Don't take too long… I’m gonna miss you when you’re at the store.” After all Stiles hadn't seen Derek long before he fell asleep for a week and they’d only had breakfast now.

“I won’t.” Derek kissed him again.

Stiles smiled and yawned, falling asleep long before Derek left to get him his much needed soup.

***

> _Dear Stiles_
> 
> _Yes, it is true. I did put a winky face in my letter. I’ve even been known to send emojis in text messages, but don’t tell anyone. It’ll be our secret._
> 
> _It can be hard not being in contact with anyone but my team, but these letters help. And your voice is not annoying in my head, I promise. I have a feeling that my voice in your head is different than the reality. I’ve been told more than once that my voice is not as deep and growly as my face would suggest._
> 
> _So, you’re only going to send me sweets if I tell you more about myself? How will I handle this blackmail? Good thing my sweet tooth is apparently controlling my higher functions ever since you’ve starting sending me treats. The addition of white chocolate has only made it worse._
> 
> _To answer your question, we grew mostly vegetables, but we did have a few fruit trees and bushes around the property. My favorites were the black raspberries. We’d make jam out of them and have it on homemade bread. I’ve never been able to find a jam that comes close to that flavor. Our vegetable garden had everything from tomatoes to carrots to every kind of squash imaginable. We had a whole corner just for pumpkins and we’d carve the biggest one for our front porch every Halloween (after roasting the seeds of course). One thing we did every year was make huge batches of homemade salsa from the vegetables. Tastes about a million times better than jarred salsa from the store._
> 
> _And don’t worry, we can start small with your gardening. Something like green beans, which are almost impossible to kill. Just make sure to watch out for rabbits looking for a meal. (Helpful hint, planting marigolds around a garden will discourage critters who like to come eating)._
> 
> _I have a feeling I’m going to need to get some vegetables in me after a steady diet of your sweets. Speaking of, both new recipes were fantastic. How can Isaac not like white chocolate? It boggles the mind. I suppose that just means more for me. I don’t know if I can handle it._
> 
> _I’ll leave you with another fact about me. I’m a voracious reader. I try to read every day, for at least a few minutes. And if you try to interrupt me while I’m reading, I am deaf and you are invisible. It used to drive my little sister crazy._
> 
> _Derek_

 

***

Stiles startled at the loud crash in his apartment, nearly rolling off the couch as he woke. He looked over at the noise and stared at Derek in the doorway. “What the hell. Is everything okay?” he asked, sitting up to see what was going on.

“I dropped the soup. Again. I think I know now why I keep seeing people with those little canvas bags for their groceries.” Derek leaned over, starting to pick up the scattered cans of soup. “Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you.”

“It’s okay. Was just taking a nap.” Stiles hadn't gone into hibernation again, but he’d been napping a lot throughout the day even though he slept a lot better now that Derek was with him. “What kinda soup did you get this time?” Stiles rubbed his face and got up to help Derek pick up the soup cans rolling around the living room.

“Uh, minestrone and chicken and stars and, uh, some kind of wedding soup. Did you want me to heat something for you once I get all this picked up?”

“Minestrone sounds good,” Stiles said as he started picking up some cans. “They have a wedding soup? What’s in a wedding soup?” Stiles never remembered seeing wedding soups in the soup section at the store.

Derek shrugged and put cans up on the counter without looking at them. “I dunno, but this lady in the soup aisle said it was something I should get.”

Stiles put some cans on the counter, scrunching his face up at the wedding soup label, but kept his thoughts to himself as he sorted the soups by kind. “Maybe it’s her favorite soup,” Stiles said with a shrug and left the soups on the counter, moving over to Derek to hug him from behind.

Derek turned around and pulled Stiles in close, kissing him lightly. “It didn’t look that great, so I only got two cans of it. I can get more if you like it. But I got plenty of tomato soup and more vegetable beef and chicken noodle.”

“Yum, my hero,” Stiles smiled and kissed Derek again. “You want me to set a movie up while the soup is heating up?” They hadn't been doing much the past few days other than hanging out on the couch and watching all the TV Stiles could get Derek watch. Even though most of it was cartoons.

“Sure, that sounds good. What were you thinking of?” Derek started putting the soup in lines on the counter, keeping them in the same groups that Stiles had put them in. When everything was put away, Derek poured some soup into a bowl and put it in the microwave. He started it up, took two bottles of water from the fridge and headed over to the couch, handing one bottle to Stiles before he settled in beside him.

“I put in Wall-E,” Stiles said with a shrug and took the bottle Derek handed him. “Maybe after this we can watch The Avengers.” Stiles knew that he watched the same movies over and over again, but he hoped that Derek wouldn't get tired of them.

Derek smiled. “Wall-E it is.” He leaned in and kissed Stiles’ neck, then put an arm around him to draw him close.

Stiles cuddled in close, resting his head on Derek’s chest as he turned to watch the movie. “How long is the soup gonna take to heat up?” Stiles had been eating more soup than anything else and it helped his stomach over other foods.

“Should be ready soon. I made the vegetable beef.”

“Oh, yum. That sounds good. Probably better than the minestrone anyway.” He turned up to kiss Derek’s cheek and smiled at him. “What did you want for dinner? I can cook something for you.” Stiles tried not to think about wanting to drag Derek off to bed, especially since they hadn't really done more than cuddle and kiss since Derek had been back.

Derek kissed Stiles then nipped his lip lightly. “I think I still have some of those frozen pizzas left. I’ll heat one of them up.”

“Okay… maybe next week I can try cooking for you?” Stiles wasn't sure if he could stomach it, but he wanted to try. He hated that Derek was eating frozen and canned foods because he was still not up to regular food.

“How about you concentrate on getting better and then you can worry about cooking for me?” The microwave beeped and Derek kissed Stiles’ temple before he got up and went into the kitchen to retrieve the soup, along with a spoon. He stirred it up, checked to be sure it was hot, but not hot enough to burn, then carried it into the living room. “Here you go.”

Stiles took the soup, putting a pillow in his lap so he could put the hot bowl on it. “It might take me a while to get back up to normal eating. My stomach has to get used to it. I don't want you eating frozen foods until then. I like to cook,” he reminded Derek.

“You nearly got sick just looking at my pizza last night,” Derek reminded him, sitting down next to him again. “I think you should at least be able to look at something besides soup before you start cooking again.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Stiles said with a shrug and started to eat his soup carefully. He watched Wall-E and ate about half the bowl before he ended up sitting there with it for several minutes, trying to talk himself into trying to eat the rest of the soup. Stiles felt stuffed.

Derek took the bowl away and set it on the table next to the couch, then moved around to settle behind Stiles once more. “Hey, it’s all right,” he said softly, kissing the side of Stiles’ neck. “You just need a chance to recover. You’ll be fine.”

“I just wish I was better already,” Stiles said with a sigh, resting back against Derek and turning his attention back to the movie. “How long do you think it’ll take me to get back to normal?” Because if it was going to be a long time, that was totally going to suck since he didn't think Derek would touch him beyond cuddling until then. Stiles wondered if he was that unattractive now from the weight he’d lost.

“I don’t know.” Derek kissed Stiles’ neck again. “We could probably call Deaton and ask him. Or is there a doctor you see here in town? They might be able to help.”

“I guess I can try to make an appointment with my old family doctor.” Stiles rarely got sick, so he hadn't been to the doctor in a long time. “Or there’s Google.”

“The doctor would probably be better,” Derek finally said. “Google might be like Web MD and say you have cancer or something like that. Maybe we should give it ‘til the end of the week and see how you feel then?”

“That sounds good and I’d know if I had cancer. Think I’ve been around it enough to know.” Plus, he’d just feel off, more so than he was now. Stiles knew what his problem was. It was just going to take time to eat normally again. He sighed and pulled Derek’s arm tighter around him, trying to focus on watching Wall-E.

Derek spent the movie nuzzling at Stiles’ neck, occasionally mouthing and sucking over Stiles’ pulse point.

“You know if you keep doing that you’re gonna have to follow through,” Stiles said, baring his neck to Derek and pressing his ass back against him. “Your mouth is unfair.”

“I will,” Derek promised, raking his teeth carefully along Stiles’ neck. “As soon as you’re better. I’m going to keep you in bed for a week straight.” Stiles pressed back against Derek a little more and Derek groaned as he started to harden in response.

“If you’re not gonna follow through now, we should stop. You know how sensitive my neck is,” Stiles said. And Derek was just being a fucking tease and torturing him if he had no intention of taking him to bed. That was just evil.

Derek groaned again, burying his face in Stiles’ neck. “Sorry,” he said, the word muffled against Stiles’ neck. “I just... I thought about this so much...”

“Don't apologize,” Stiles said, pressing more firmly against Derek’s dick. “I won't break, you know. I want you to touch me.” Although Stiles couldn't promise that he wouldn't throw up being jerked around during sex if his stomach decided he was nauseated. That would be a total mood killer. He moved his hand back and into Derek’s hair, stroking his fingers through it.

Another groan slipped out as Derek rocked against Stiles. “You’re still recovering,” he argued. “When you’re better...”

Stiles sighed and went limp in Derek’s arms. It was so unfair that Derek was kissing and sucking his neck, pressing against him and now Stiles could feel Derek’s dick half-hard against his ass and he was still being told no. He didn't stay anything for a few moments before he pulled away and got up, grabbing his soup bowl. “I’m gonna do dishes.”

“I can do that,” Derek argued again, pushing himself up and following Stiles into the kitchen. “You’re supposed to be resting, remember?”

“I’m not tired. I slept for a week straight and I sleep somewhat normally now. I think I’m starting to normalize other than the fact that I can't stuff my face like a werewolf like I used to.” Stiles dumped the leftover soup in the garbage disposal and flipped the switch and rinsed the bowl out in the sink. He flipped the switch off and grabbed the soap to put some in his bowl so he could wash it.

Derek licked his lips and moved up carefully behind Stiles, hands settling on his hips. “So just how normal is normal?” he asked, nuzzling Stiles’ neck again.

Stiles scrubbed his bowl angrily and sighed when Derek pressed in close. “Why does it matter? It’s not like you’re gonna fuck me anyway until I go see a doctor and get the clear for more than soup and sleeping.”

“I just don’t want to hurt you.”

“How do you think you’re going to hurt me? It’s not like we’ve never done anything before,” Stiles pointed out. “And I know you’re a werewolf.” Stiles was very aware of what sex with Derek would be like if things got too aggressive.

“We didn’t really - I mean, it was... different. And me being a werewolf... you know what it’s like to be part of the pack, but in bed... It’s different.”

Stiles managed to roll his eyes and shake his head at the same time, looking back at his bowl and rinsing it off and putting it on the drying rack before scrubbing his spoon. “I’ve lived in Beacon Hills all my life. You think I’ve never fucked a werewolf?”

Derek stiffened and took a step back. “No, I guess I hadn’t thought about that,” he said. “Apparently I should have,” Derek bit out before he turned around and headed back into the living room.

Stiles sighed and shook his head again, wanting to throw his spoon after Derek, but he rinsed it off and put it on the drying rack. He decided to do the rest of the dishes that were sitting in the sink before he finally came out of the kitchen, turning towards the bedroom. If Derek wanted him to rest then he was going to sleep in his bed. At least the walls were slightly more interesting in there than the living room.

***

> _Derek,_
> 
> _So your face looks deep and growly, huh? I guess I wouldn't know since you know, you haven't sent me a picture. That’s probably hard to do anyway since you’re always out in the field doing missions and stuff. I doubt I’ll ever get a picture from you. I mean, I don't even get pictures of Scott. He says it’s hard to do normal things like that since you guys are so distanced and isolated from society. He says the few times that you all do get to go back to base, you never stay long, so it’s usually just resting and back to work. So since I don't know what your deep, growly face looks like, you don't have a deep, growly voice in my head. I don't really know how to explain it. I just know you have a nice voice. In my head, anyway. I doubt it’s anything near what your voice really sounds like. I mean, I doubt we really are imagining how the other sounds like. Ha._
> 
> _So, I’ve got a surprise for you. When you open your box (if you haven't dug around in it already to get your goodies before reading this letter) you will find a plastic jar that I vacuum sealed. I made a special stop to the local organic fruit farm and found black raspberries. I don't know if they taste anything like the ones you used to have when you were growing up, but I made them into a jam for you so you can put them on whatever food you guys have in your MREs. I figured it would make whatever bread you have in there better, or you can always have it for a snack. I doubt it’ll last long since I’m sure you guys will eat it up, but if you like it, I’ll start making it more regularly and sending it in the boxes. I also sent you some toasted pumpkin seeds since Halloween is coming up and I carved some pumpkins to put in front of the shop. I included a picture of myself with the pumpkins, courtesy of Lydia._
> 
> _I really hope you like the jam and the pumpkin seeds and I’m happy that you enjoyed the new recipes. I feel like the only thing I do now is create new white chocolate recipes so I can send you more white chocolate goodies. In this box the new recipes include white chocolate cupcakes, which I packed in a vacuum-sealed container and not a bag and white chocolate cream ginger tarts with blueberries. I’m not sure how the blueberries are going to hold up, so I packed them separately from the tarts, but you can put them on top of the tarts when you open them up._
> 
> _I also included a book. I mean, you said you like to read and I doubt you have anything to read out in the middle of nowhere. Hopefully you like it. I wasn't sure what to get, so I sent one of my favorites. Um, it’s 20 thousand leagues under the sea. I used to read it with my mom when she was in the hospital. I got my copy in the gift store, but I went out and bought you a different one so you can keep it. If you like I can find books you like and send them to you, but I don't know if that’ll just be dead weight for you to carry around while you’re out in the field._
> 
> _Hope to hear from you soon._
> 
> _Stiles_

 

***

It was official. Derek was no longer a member of WEREs, had no further ties to the military. He was a civilian now, his last set of paperwork signed just that morning. He should be thrilled, should be planning a celebration with Stiles, but instead he closed the door behind him and called out, “Stiles? Are you here?” He hadn’t offered to go with Derek that morning when he’d told him about his plans for the day, hadn’t said anything except for asking what Derek wanted for dinner. It was the most they’d said to each other in three days.

“In the kitchen,” Stiles called out.

Derek walked over to the doorway, watching Stiles move around for a moment. “It’s done,” he said, holding up the folder in his hand. “I’ll get my final paycheck in two weeks.”

Stiles smiled a little at that, taking a breath and leaning against the counter to look at Derek. “Are you going to brave the bakery or were you going to try and get a job somewhere else? I mean… I can teach you everything about the bakery.”

“Are you sure you still want me there after what happened with the cinnamon rolls?” Jackson still glared at him every time he went in there, even though Derek had apologized more than once for the singed eyebrows and the ruined shirt. He knew he probably should’ve just asked for Stiles’ help, but he’d wanted to surprise him.

“If you don't want to work in the kitchen, you can work in the front. Isaac can help me bake and you can work the register and talk to the customers,” Stiles suggested. He shifted and crossed his arms. “Or you can try the baking again. I can teach you. Um… or there’s all the business side of it. You’ll be working with Lydia if you want to do that. She’s a math wiz.”

Derek thought about that for a moment, then rubbed the back of his neck as he suggested, “Maybe you could teach me about baking? Here? And I could do the register at the store until I get good at it.” That way only Stiles would know about whatever disasters he produced. And hopefully he wouldn’t burn the apartment down in the process.

“Yeah, okay. Maybe we can start with cookies… since that’s what we sell the most of. Or maybe cupcakes?” Stiles moved over to the stove to set the timer for the post roast and put the corn and potatoes into the fridge.

“Either one sounds okay.” Derek took a deep breath, inhaling the heavenly scent that was already drifting out of the oven. “It smells really good.” Compliments and polite interchanges, that had been all the conversation they’d had in days, and it didn’t look like that was going to change anytime soon. Derek swallowed and turned around, then hesitated when he realized he didn’t know where his folder should go. “Where do you want me to put this?”

Stiles raised his shoulder. “Are you going to need them again?” he asked and walked over to Derek, taking the folder from him. “I can put it in the desk.”

“I don’t know. Probably if I want to go to the VA or something.” Derek handed the folder over, then carefully said, “I, uh, I told them I had a m- uh, partner. They said you’ll need to register. If you want benefits.”

Stiles looked down at the folder and nodded. “Yeah, okay. Where do I need to register as your mate?” He walked out into the living room and over to the desk, opening a drawer and slipping the folder into a drawer.

Derek wasn’t prepared for the wave of emotion that smashed into him when he heard Stiles refer to himself as his mate. “You can go into the office anytime. The same one Allison gets her benefits from,” he said, the words almost sticking in his throat. Part of him wanted to yell at Stiles, point out that he could’ve registered that morning if he’d gone with him, and the other part wanted to beg him to do it now. Right now, before he could change his mind.

“Okay,” Stiles said, licking his lips. “We can go in tomorrow before we go into the bakery if you want.” He ran a hand through his hair and went to sit on the arm of the couch. “I went to the doctor this morning. Um, he said everything was fine, but he did some tests anyway. He’ll call me with the blood work results next week.”

“That... might not be a good idea.” Derek shifted from one foot to the other, more than a little uncomfortable as he admitted, “There’s an exam. And they’ll want to see proof.” Proof that Stiles didn’t have, and wasn’t likely to get, given the distance between them. The gap of a few days ago seemed to be widening, stretching and growing into a chasm that Derek really wasn’t sure how to cross.

“Oh.” Stiles looked down at his feet, swallowing against the thickness in his throat. “I guess we can't go then...” Stiles didn't say anything for several minutes before clearing his throat and saying, “How am I supposed to register as your mate if you don't want to claim me anymore?”

Surprise was clearly visible on Derek’s face. “I never said I didn’t want -” Derek started to argue, then forced himself to stop. He’d promised himself he wouldn’t fight with Stiles, that he’d make sure he never regretted having him there. Taking a deep breath, he tried to change the subject. “I’m glad the doctor said you’re okay.”

“Yeah, me too,” Stiles lied, pausing for a few moments as he stared down at his feet. “You know… if you don't want to be with me anymore because I’ve fucked another werewolf then maybe we should find you a place of your own…”

Derek was moving before he thought about it, hands closing on Stiles’ arms as he shoved him back against the living room wall hard enough to make the pictures rattle against the wall. “Is that what you want?” he demanded. “You want me to move out so you can go back to someone else?” The thought hurt, sliced into him like a blade. “Or are you planning on doing something to yourself?” Was that why he was lying, why he was disappointed at hearing the doctor say he was fine?

“Why does it matter!? You don't want me! You won't even touch me and you barely look at me at all now. Why are you even still here if you can't stand being around me anymore? Well I’m sorry I broke your perfect image of me. Yeah. I’ve fucked another werewolf. So what? I want you to be the only one from now on but you can't get over your issues. I thought we were going to be mates,” Stiles said, shoving at Derek’s chest with his best human growl. “So why the fuck are you still here if you can't stand being with me?”

“Because you’re my mate!” There was no ‘going to be mates’, not as far as Derek was concerned. Stiles was his mate, had been since probably before McCall died, since he’d written letters and sent him cookies and refused to stop calling him ‘Alpha soldier dude’. Derek smelled blood and knew his claws had scratched Stiles, but he didn’t loosen his grip. His eyes were almost certainly red, glowing hot and glaring, more feral than human. This was what Stiles had mated, though, what he’d asked for. “You’re my mate,” he growled, leaning in to scent his neck, his mouth watering as he thought about biting him, sinking his teeth in and claiming him the way he wanted to. Needed to. “Stiles...”

Stiles was clutching at Derek’s chest, fisting his shirt and trying to hold onto him more than push him away now. He wrapped his arms around Derek when he scented him. “Derek,” he breathed, a hand snaking into Derek’s hair. “I don't want anyone else but you,” he assured him. “You’re my mate.”

The words were scarcely out of Stiles’ mouth before Derek’s teeth were closing on his neck, clamping down hard, not stopping until he tasted blood, until Stiles was his, claimed and mated, and it was all Derek could do not to shred his clothes and fuck him right there and then. “Mine,” he growled when he drew back, blood staining his lips until they were almost the same color as his eyes. “Say it!”

“Yours,” Stiles agreed, pulling Derek into a hard, heated kiss and groaned into his mouth. “God, fuck - yours. Only yours Derek. Your mate. Now take me to bed and fuck me as your mate.”

The bedroom was all the way down the hallway, but somehow Derek managed to make it there, pulling Stiles away from the wall and all but shoving him forward, tugging shirts off and opening pants on the way. Shoes and socks came off at some point, and Derek yanked Stiles’ jeans down right before he shoved him back on the bed and crawled up after him. “Get the lube and condoms,” he said, pushing his own jeans and underwear down to mid thigh. He needed to get inside Stiles before he completely lost control.

“I don't think condoms are going to work with your knot,” Stiles said as he leaned up and kissed Derek deeply before leaning over and reaching into the nightstand for the lube. He grabbed the bottle and raised it in victory. “Plus, the ones I have are probably expired anyway. It’s not like I’ve been fucking anyone for a long time,” he pointed out. Stiles lay back on the bed and popped the top open, slicking his fingers up and then pressing his hand between his legs, rubbing against his hole.

_His knot. Jesus._ Derek hadn’t even thought about that. He was going to knot Stiles, actually push inside instead of holding back. It was enough to make his dick jerk, precome slicking his own skin and Stiles’ thigh. There was no hiding his reaction, just like Stiles couldn’t hide the sound he made when his fingers, those long, slender fingers, pressed into his body. Derek wanted to do it himself, still vividly remembered feeling Stiles fall apart while he fingered him, and he was going to do that again soon, but right now, he needed more, and from the way Stiles whimpered, he did, too. “Hurry up. Need to get inside.” And if he kept leaking like this, he wasn’t going to need any lube.

Stiles fucked three fingers into himself, spreading them and stretching himself as quickly as he could. He pulled his hand free and squeezed some lube into it, reaching out to give Derek a couple of strokes to slick him up generously. “Okay. We’re ready. You want me like this?” he asked, tossing the closed bottle aside and wiping his wet hand on the sheets.

“Any way I can get you,” Derek gritted out, moving over Stiles, one hand pushing his leg up, claws raising pink lines on Stiles’ thigh that Derek planned to lick later. Derek rocked against him, groaning at the slick glide of his dick against Stiles’ ass and then Stiles shifted and rolled and - “Ohhhhh FUCK!” Derek slid in, a slow press that he didn’t even have a chance to stop or slow down, Stiles’ body opening for him like he’d been made for it. “Oh my God...”

Stiles squeezed his eyes shut, moaning and rocking against Derek until Derek was pressed firmly against his ass. “Fuck -” Stiles panted, reaching up for Derek to draw him down into a kiss. “You feel so fucking good. Oh my god.”

“Yeah,” Derek growled, rocking forward, grinding in against Stiles without even thinking before he managed to pull back and shove in again. “Fuck... Mine. All mine. My mate. Ohfuckfuckfuck...”

“Fuck - oh god, Derek,” Stiles groaned, reaching for his dick to quickly stroke himself. “Yours.”

Derek looked down to see Stiles’ fingers wrapped around his cock and that was so fucking hot that Derek thought he might end up melting at the sight of it. Like when Stiles had straddled his thigh and jerked off on him, only better, because now Derek could feel it, feel the way the pleasure rippled through Stiles’ body and into his own, and he tried to slow down and savor it, but it had been too long since he’d anything even close to this. Although he’d never had this, never wanted someone this bad, never needed them so much it hurt. He ground in again, his strokes lengthening, grinding against Stiles with each one as time slipped into some kind of strange dimensional warp that could’ve been seconds or hours. Or years. Derek didn’t know and he really didn’t care. All that mattered, all that would ever matter, was Stiles, rocking back against him and moaning his name.

Stiles groaned and rocked against Derek, meeting his thrusts. He reached out and pulled Derek down for a deep kiss, biting his lip as he released him. “God, I’m gonna come. Fuck. How much longer until you can knot me?” he asked, trying to slow his strokes and giving his dick a firm squeeze.

Just thinking about how much tighter and hotter Stiles’ already perfect body was going to get when he came was enough to make the base of Derek’s dick start to swell. He ground against him a little more, his strokes getting shorter, more like rocking than fucking. “Don’t know,” Derek panted. “Not long... ohhhh fuck, I don’t -” He wasn’t sure how long he could hold off, but he didn’t think Stiles would have long to wait. “You want it? Before you come?”

“Yeah, please - fuck. Wanna come on your knot,” Stiles whined, kissing Derek again. “Wanna feel it. Need you to breed me as your mate.” Stiles wrapped his legs around Derek’s thighs, hauling him forward and tighter against him. “Oh, fuck!” Stiles panted and started stroking himself again, shuddering at the feeling of Derek’s knot just outside of his body.

Derek shoved in again, grinding down hard, then groaned as his knot pushed in. And stuck. And it was amazing. If this was what it was like for everyone else, then no wonder Kali and Peter never shut up about it. But then, it couldn’t possibly be like this for everyone else, because they didn’t have Stiles, with his perfect, tight, hot body that was already starting to clamp down on him. “Ohhhhhhh God,” Derek groaned, grinding in right before he started to come, his whole body going tight as he emptied what felt like a lifetime’s worth of need into his mate.

Stiles gasped and moaned loudly, Derek’s knot swelling and pulsing inside of him, pushing Stiles right over the edge. “Oh, fuck - oh god, Derek!” Stiles clamped tight around Derek, hips stuttering as he fucked sloppily into his hand, come covering his stomach until he was limp under Derek. “Oh my -” Stiles reached up with his clean hand to pull Derek into a needy kiss.

For a long, long time, Derek couldn’t think about anything except the overwhelming pleasure that kept circling back around, dragging him under as soon as he thought it was over. All that mattered was kissing Stiles, grinding against him, and moaning into his mouth. When he finally came back to himself, it was to look down at Stiles, to see his lips swollen and his chin red, his chest and stomach covered with come that had also gotten all over Derek, his eyes heavy-lidded and hazy. Derek thought he’d never seen anyone look more gorgeous in his entire life. “Mine,” he whispered, kissing Stiles softly, almost reverently. “Stiles. My mate.”

“Officially,” Stiles said quietly and smiled, kissing Derek back just as softly. “Mmmm and you’re all mine.” Stiles wrapped his arms around Derek, holding him close despite the cooling sticky mess between them. “Totally going to do this all the time,” Stiles said as he kissed Derek’s shoulder then nuzzled against his neck.

“All yours,” Derek agreed lazily, tilting his head to offer his neck up. Stiles couldn’t mark him the way Derek had him, not without ritual or something like mountain ash, but Derek knew he’d agree to anything if Stiles wanted it. He moaned softly at the faint scrape of teeth, shivering as a smaller orgasm hit him. “God, I never... I knew it was supposed to be good, but this is...” He shook his head. There simply weren’t words to describe it.

“Amazing,” Stiles filled in, kissing Derek’s neck before sucking lightly over his pulse point. “Perfect,” he added, closing his mouth over the fading bruise and sucking harder. “I’ve never been knotted before,” Stiles confessed and bit carefully against Derek’s neck.

Derek smiled and nudged Stiles back so he could kiss him, then rocked against Stiles again as he said, “Looks like this was a first for both of us.” He liked knowing that, loved it, actually, almost as much as it seemed Stiles had loved being knotted. “I never wanted to before.”

Stiles grinned and gave a pleasant sound. “Mmmm, good to know, but now that we have I put my vote in for doing it as often as we can.”

Derek chuckled and kissed Stiles, then dipped down to kiss at the mark on his throat. “I like that idea,” he told Stiles. “Although your employees might have something to say about it when you don’t go in for another couple of weeks.”

“I’m taking a mate honeymoon,” Stiles chuckled, tilting his head so Derek could mouth his mark better. “We never got to have one of those and now that it’s official, I want it. I wanna spend time with you and just you. Think we can do that?”

“I think if we don’t I’m gonna have to tear someone apart,” he muttered, scraping his teeth over the mark. Derek rocked against Stiles again, smiling when he heard laughter turn to a gasp. “We can always go check into a hotel somewhere.”

“Or we can stay right here and I can call Lydia and have her inform everyone not to bother us unless they want their limbs ripped off,” Stiles teased and groaned, squeezing tight around Derek’s knot. “Stay right here in our bed.”

“I like the sound of that,” Derek replied. Their bed. He’d never really shared a bed like that, never had anyone there for more than one night, but Stiles had opened his entire life to him without even needing to be asked. It left him feeling humble and more than a little small, while the way Stiles shivered and clung to him made him feel strong and ready to take on the world. “I know it was fast, but I’ll do better next time. I promise.”

“Fast isn’t bad,” Stiles assured Derek with a kiss. “And if you do better than this I think it’ll kill me.” Stiles laughed softly. “I don't see how amazing sex can get much better than this.” Stiles smiled, kissing Derek again before tucking himself against his neck and breathing him in. “Mmm you smell like us.”

“It’s a good smell,” Derek commented, brushing a kiss over Stiles’ temple as he rocked against him, wondering if he could wring another orgasm out of him before they were done. “Did I scratch you too badly?”

“I’m okay,” Stiles said with a kiss to Derek’s neck. “You wanna lick ‘em for me?” he teased and pulled back enough to look at Derek, giving him a peck on the lips. “I’m okay. Really. You didn't hurt me.”

“Yeah, I want to,” Derek breathed against Stiles’ lips. He shivered as a small climax hit, then suddenly froze when he remembered something. Something very important. “We didn’t use birth control!”

“Mmmm, well, good thing I can't accidentally get pregnant,” Stiles said and smiled against Derek’s shoulder. “And that I wasn't thinking about having your pups because then we might just be pregnant.” He kissed Derek’s ear. “I can't get pregnant on accident, remember? It has to be a conscious decision to try for pups.”

“Oh.” Derek forced himself to relax, telling himself it was ridiculous to feel even a little bit disappointed at that. Pups were a big decision, a major life changer, and neither of them were ready for them, not yet. He didn’t even know if Stiles ever _wanted_ pups, since it wasn’t exactly something they’d talked about. “Okay. That’s... good.”

“You don't have anything to worry about… I’m not going to surprise you with a pregnancy even if I want pups. It’ll be a choice we make together because there’s no way in hell I’m taking care of them all by myself.” Stiles carded his fingers through Derek’s hair and smiled at him. “We haven't even talked about any of that anyways… so surprise pups would be a horrible idea.”

“So you do want them?” Derek hadn’t ever really thought about it, had just assumed that it would be up to Laura to have any more pups for the Hale family, but now that Stiles was talking about it, he thought maybe... some time in the future, of course, not now. Still... he kissed Stiles and smiled at him when he saw how nervous he looked. “It’s up to you, since you’re the one that would have to carry them, but I wouldn’t mind some pups in a few years...”

Stiles laughed softly. “Well it’s a good thing that I’m young so I won't be too old to have them in a few years. But maybe in a few years, yeah. That sounds good. I never thought I’d find a mate to have any… and when Scott and I talked about it, it was just to further the emissary bloodline.”

Derek nuzzled Stiles’ neck briefly. “For now, though... you’re sure it’s okay to knot without using anything?” Although he wasn’t sure exactly what they could use if they did need anything. It wasn’t like there were birth control pills for emissaries, and Stiles had already pointed out that they didn’t have Alpha condoms. Besides, it wasn’t like Derek could either catch or pass on any disease.

“Shhhh, you’re gonna make my internal clock start ticking and want pups.” Stiles chuckled and smiled, turning in to nuzzle Derek back. “Then I’ll end up pregnant and you don't want that for a few years,” he reminded Derek. “If I can keep that from happening then we’ll be okay. I’m not gonna make the decision for us.”

“Even if you can’t, we’ll be okay.” Derek knew they might rather wait, but he also knew that he was Stiles’ mate, so that meant that whatever came, they’d face it together. He shifted a little as he felt his knot start to subside, running a hand down to close on Stiles’ hip. “Need to get you cleaned up.”

“Don't wanna move,” Stiles said, reluctantly releasing Derek when started to pull out. “And I’m hoping to hold off as long as I can before that instinct starts to drive me for pups,” he added, stretching out and sighing as he worked the pleasant aches out of his muscles. “Allison said it gets pretty bad once you’re mated.”

“Hopefully it’ll be different for you as an emissary.” Derek eased out, then rolled onto his side and pulled Stiles in close, tugging one leg over his hips so they could get as close as possible. “But if it isn’t, we’ll figure it out.” He kissed Stiles, one hand moving up and down along his thigh, slowly petting the scratches there. “I’m sorry. For making you feel like I didn’t want you.”

“Just don't do it again,” Stiles said, wrapping himself around Derek and tucking himself against him. “Never again… I need you, Derek. I don't ever want to feel like I’m losing you again. You’re my mate… you know that I can't live without you.”

“I won’t,” Derek promised, hand moving around to rub up and down Stiles’ back. They were fully mated now, but as far as Derek was concerned, they had been mated much longer than that. He licked his lips and took a slow breath, then said the words that had terrified him for years. “I love you.” And now that he thought about it, he really should have said that before he claimed Stiles for his mate.

“I love you too,” Stiles breathed against Derek’s chest. “For a long time now,” he confessed. “I think that’s why it was so hard for me when you went back to WEREs…”

“I wish you’d told me,” Derek said softly. “I didn’t want to leave.”

“I wanted to tell you, but I wasn't sure you felt the same way,” Stiles said, tracing fingers along Derek’s skin. “I was afraid that you’d leave if I asked you to stay and I couldn't take that. But you’re here now… and that’s what matters, right?”

“Yeah, it is.” Derek breathed in the scent of Stiles, made even better with the addition of sex and his own scent. “Especially since I’m taking you with me if I ever have to leave again.” Although he really hoped he was done leaving. Settling down here, making a life and a home and a family with Stiles sounded a lot better than anything else he could come up with.

“Well hopefully you don't have to leave again,” Stiles said and kissed Derek’s shoulder. “We have a pack and each other and maybe in a few years a family.” He nuzzled Derek’s neck and breathed in the scent of mate and home. “So no leaving. I’ll strap you to the bed before you get the chance.”

Derek chuckled. “That might not be so bad.” He pictured himself tied down, left for Stiles to do whatever he wanted, then drew in a sharp breath when the mental image shifted to _Stiles_ being the one strapped down for _him_. “Maybe we could take turns being chained to the bed.”

“Oh, really?” Stiles grinned, shifting to push Derek onto his back and slid over him. “I don't know about chains but I’m sure I can find some nice leather,” he said with a kiss, rocking against Derek. “Have you ever been tied down before during sex?”

Derek shook his head. “I - with Kate. She wanted to, but I didn’t... I couldn’t -” He knew now that he hadn’t trusted her enough, that some part of himself must have known what she was really like. Then he’d only known that the thought of it made him go hot and cold, while Stiles mentioning it just made him hot and shaky with desire. His hands slid down to Stiles’ hips, urging him to keep moving. “What about you?”

Stiles kissed over Derek’s chest, licking and sucking his way to Derek’s nipple and teasing over it with his teeth. “MMmm, nope. I haven't. But I’d let you tie me up and have your way with me.” He closed his teeth on Derek’s nipple and bit carefully, rolling his hips again. “Maybe we can do that sometime, if you want.”

Derek groaned, both at the edge of pain that was Stiles’ teeth closing on his nipple and at the thought of Stiles tied down for him, open for anything he wanted to do with him. He could feel himself hardening again, knew that Stiles would be able to feel it as well, and he groped blindly for Stiles’ ass, needing to squeeze, to touch. Fuck, he wanted to taste, but right now he could hardly think beyond simply needing Stiles. “What else do you want?”

“Hmmm,” Stiles smiled, licking over Derek’s nipple and kissing over to the other one, giving it the same treatment before turning up to give Derek a kiss. “Well right this second riding you until you knot me again sounds pretty damn good. What else do you want?” Stiles asked, rocking his hips and sliding his dick against Derek’s with a muffled moan against Derek’s lips.

Derek shuddered at the bite, then growled against Stiles’ lips when he moved up for another kiss. “I want that.” One hand squeezed Stiles’ ass, fingers moving in to rub over his hole, where he was open and leaking from their first coupling. “And I want to lick you out after, make you come on my tongue like I did before I left.” He pressed two fingers inside, loving how easily Stiles opened for him. “I want to make you scream for me.”

Stiles groaned and pressed back against Derek’s fingers. “Yeah, fuck. I want that,” he said with a wet kiss. “Wanna stay in bed all week if we can.” Stiles pushed a hand between them, gripping Derek’s dick and giving him a stroke. “Wanna get you inside of me.”

“Yeah,” Derek muttered, fingers rubbing over the little bump inside of Stiles. The moan he earned was enough to make his dick jerk in Stiles’ hand, and it wasn’t long before Stiles was rising up off Derek’s fingers and sinking down onto his cock, giving Derek a show like he’d never had before. The only thing Derek could manage to do was hang on and try not to pop his knot too quickly.


	9. Chapter 9

Stiles emerged from the restroom as squeaky clean as he could possibly get with wiping down with a washcloth. “So what did you want -” he stopped and looked around the bedroom. “Derek?” Stiles frowned. It hadn't taken too long to wipe down and use the restroom. “Der-ek?” Stiles sing-songed and started off to check the rest of the apartment. “Where are you?”

Stiles checked the rest of the apartment quickly and stopped when he heard shuffling in the bedroom and turned around to head back. “Derek?” he asked, pushing the door open and looked around. He stopped when he saw the hulking black wolf standing in his bedroom snuffling at one of his shirts. “Holy crap! Why didn't you tell me you could turn into a wolf?” Stiles asked and started over to him. He glanced out the window and noticed the moon. “Oh. Whoops. Guess we forgot about the full moon…”

A whine that sounded more sheepish that any sound a wolf could make answered him. Derek stared at him, then took a step back, unsure of just what Stiles was making of his shift. He hadn’t screamed and tried to drive him off, and when Derek sniffed tentatively at the air, he didn’t smell like fear. He let out a low sound and stood his ground when Stiles moved towards him again, silently praying that Stiles was okay with this.

Stiles squatted down in front of Derek, offering him the back of his hand. “So how are you supposed to help me with dinner like this?” he teased and smiled at him. When Derek sniffed his hand, Stiles carefully reached out to run his fingers through his fur. “Are you okay? Do you need me to let you out to do your wolf thing?”

Derek shook his head. A run sounded good, but he wanted Stiles with him, running alongside him even if it meant he had to hold himself back or run forward and lope back to Stiles. Right now, though, he was too busy basking in the feeling of fingers carding through his fur. He moved closer, seeking out more, hungry for the touch and the feeling of warmth it sent through his whole body, thankful that he wasn’t a cat, because he didn’t think he’d be able to keep from purring if he was.

Stiles grinned and reached his other hand up to scratch behind Derek’s ear. “Are you gonna let me scratch your belly later? You’re huge and gorgeous. I’m gonna have to cook twice as much dinner.” Stiles dropped a kiss onto Derek’s head as he moved to sit down in front of him and continued to run his fingers through Derek’s fur.

Derek was trying to hold back, to keep aloof as befitted an Alpha in his fully shifted state. But Stiles’ fingers were magic and somehow he ended up sprawled across his lap, whining and shifting around for more, nosing at Stiles’ chest to get more of that amazing smell. He licked him without even really thinking about it, first Stiles’ fingers and then Stiles’ chest, and this was different as well, his senses singing at how much _more_ it all was.

“You know, I always wanted my dad to let me keep a K9, but he never let me have one. Now I’ve got a big wolf instead,” Stiles teased. “So are you stuck like this all full moon?”

Stiles stopped scratching and Derek whined, nudging up under his hand for more before Stiles’ question registered. He whined again and licked Stiles’ fingers, since there wasn’t really an easy answer to that. Most of the time, he could shift back and forth, even during the full moon, but then most of the time he knew it was coming. He wriggled a little when Stiles’ hand started moving again, rolling over in his lap, and the first brush of fingers against his stomach felt so good that he didn’t even care when he felt his tail start to thump against Stiles’ leg.

Stiles scratched Derek’s stomach, chuckling. “I promise not to tell anyone what a big cuddly wolf you are,” he said as he rubbed both of his hands on Derek’s belly to make his tail thump faster. “And you’re lucky that I love you since you’re gonna shed all over the bed.”

The petting ended all too soon for Derek, but eventually Stiles shoved him off his lap and announced that he was going to get dinner before Derek decided to try chowing down on him. He whined, but got to his feet as well and started to follow him, and as they got to the kitchen, he became aware of an absolutely heavenly mouth-watering scent. He went to sniff at the refrigerator, but it wasn’t there. Next he tried the pantry, and while there were plenty of good smells in there, the one he was chasing wasn’t one of them. It took Derek a few minutes of sniffing around the kitchen before he realized that it was coming from Stiles.

Stiles was digging around in the fridge when he felt it. “What the -” Derek’s cold nose was snuffling around and then pressed in between his ass cheeks. “Oh, okay - nose in new places,” Stiles squeaked and reached back to push Derek away, trying to ignore how his dick was reacting to Derek’s nose where it shouldn't be. “I need to cook us dinner or we’re gonna starve. Sniffing while cooking is not a good combination.”

Derek managed to get another good sniff in before he stopped, and he meant to leave him alone, he really did. But Stiles smelled so incredible that without meaning to, Derek found himself burying his nose against his ass again, snuffling at the scent that was his own come and Stiles’ natural scent, entranced with how he felt almost drunk on it. He wanted to lap it all up, lick at him and do all sorts of things he knew he shouldn’t, but he forced himself to be content with a little nuzzling and sniffing.

“I’m just gonna give you sandwich meat if you keep that up,” Stiles said, twisting to look at Derek snuffling and pressing against his ass again. “I’m gonna burn the apartment down if you keep doing naughty things to me with your nose while I’m trying to cook.” Stiles closed the fridge and walked out of the kitchen, knowing Derek would be right behind him and he grabbed his cellphone. “You want Chinese or Pizza? One bark for Chinese and two for Pizza. Since I can't cook anything.” Stiles planted himself on the couch, reaching out to scratch Derek’s ear.

Wolves didn’t bark, but Derek chuffed once to say he wanted Chinese then plunked down on the floor in between Stiles’ legs. He watched Stiles reach for the phone to call for delivery then rested his head on one leg, looking up at his mate, licking his chops when he mentioned barbecue pork and teriyaki chicken. That sounded good, but not nearly as good as Stiles smelled. Without really meaning to, he found himself dropping his head down to sniff out that perfect smell again.

“Uh, yeah - and eggrolls.” Stiles rested his hand on Derek’s head and tried to distract him by scratching the back of his ear. “Uh, yeah, okay - Ah, an hour? Thanks.” Stiles shut the phone quickly and tried to crush the arousal he could feel building inside of him. “God you’re gonna ruin me.”

Stiles moved, shifting down and raising his leg, exposing himself completely to Derek, and Derek realized that he must have done something right at some point to get this now. He gave up trying to act like he was restraining himself and buried his nose right at the source of that scent, snuffling and breathing it in, letting it take over his senses.

When Derek’s cold nose turned into a warm tongue flicking out against his hole Stiles groaned softly. “Do that again,” he mumbled, shifting on the couch to get in a better position and raised his other leg to open himself more for Derek’s nose and tongue. He reached down to palm at his dick before petting over whatever part of Derek he could reach.

Derek raised his head to look up at Stiles, and if a wolf could smirk, he did. Derek licked his chops, then dove back in, tongue swiping over Stiles’ hole, licking up the taste of his own come that seemed to be part of Stiles’ skin. It was more than he’d ever thought he could have, more than he’d even dared dream of, and he lapped away at it, so lost in the smell and taste of Stiles that he barely even noticed his own dick hardening in response.

Stiles moaned, wiggling to try and get more, Derek’s tongue torturing him. “Mmmm, fuck that feels so good Derek.” He reached down to press his fingers against his hole, opening himself up to let Derek’s tongue slip inside of him where he wanted to feel his mate lapping and licking him clean. “God, probably can come just from you licking me out. So fucking hard.”

Derek licked Stiles again, tongue pushing inside, and that was perfect. Hot and tight around his tongue, and he wasn’t sure who was more pleased and surprised to discover just how deep his tongue could go like this, himself or Stiles. He could push his tongue in better, lick in and rub over Stiles’ prostate, and he whined into Stiles as he licked him out, tasting himself in a way he never had before.

Stiles echoed Derek’s whine, gripping Derek’s fur and pulling him in tighter against his ass as if he could get Derek’s tongue deeper. He whimpered and groaned, arching as Derek’s tongue brushed over his prostate and Stiles gripped his dick, palming and stroking himself, already feeling himself slowly building to climax in such a short time. “God, you’re fucking gorgeous. Feels so fucking good,” Stiles panted, reaching down to touch Derek again, unable to stop petting and tugging on his fur.

Derek whimpered, hips twitching, forcing themselves forward against nothing. The lack of anything to rub against was worse than it had ever been, a frustration akin to torture, and he whined even as he licked into Stiles again, tasting himself and Stiles and the faint traces of lube from the last time he’d opened him up with more than come.

Stiles rocked onto Derek's tongue with another groan, gripping and stroking his dick. "God, fuck -" Stiles looked down to see Derek buried in his ass and it was so fucking hot. Then he saw Derek's hips jerking and it made Stiles whine as he thought about Derek mounting him and fucking into him hard. "Fuck, Derek - I need you."

Derek whined again, then looked up when Stiles’ hands pushed him back. And now that he wasn’t buried nose deep in Stiles’ ass, Derek was aware of just how much he wanted - no, _needed_ to fuck him. But he couldn’t. Even if he could manage to shift back again so soon, there was no way he could get himself under control enough, not right now. Especially not when Stiles looked like that, splayed out and delicious. Derek chuffed and licked a long stripe up the length of Stiles’ cock, and that tasted just as phenomenal as licking him out had.

Stiles whimpered as he sat up, moving his hands to run through Derek’s fur. He rubbed his face against Derek’s before leaning over to look at Derek’s dick and sure enough, his pink cock was out of its sheath. Stiles moaned. “I want you to fuck me,” he breathed, letting go of Derek to shove at the coffee table to make room for them. Stiles moved to the floor and pushed Derek back enough so he could turn around and brace himself on the couch. “Please.”

 _Fuck him? Like this?!?_ Derek was in shock, but while his brain was scrambling to catch up, his body was way ahead of him, rearing up and planting his paws on the couch, his hips moving again like they had earlier, but this time he was rubbing against the curve of Stiles’ ass, his skin so smooth and soft against Derek’s aching dick that he thought he could probably get off like this and die a very happy man. Stiles didn’t seem to share that sentiment, though, because he reached around and curled his fingers around Derek, pushing him down until -

Oh. Fuck. Yeah, that was _much_ better. Derek heard himself yip as he shoved in and he meant to wait, to give Stiles time to adjust to it, he really did. But he felt so good that he just couldn’t help himself, and he was fucking him before he had a chance to think about it, hips hunching forward, driving himself in with short, sharp thrusts.

Stiles’ hands twisted into the couch cushions, groaning and rocking back against Derek, trying to meet his thrusts. “Oh, fuck - yeah, oh my god, Derek. Feels so fucking good,” he panted, pressing back hard against Derek’s hips and ground against him.

Derek yipped, then growled as he hammered in even harder, driving home despite the swelling he could distantly feel that made it a little harder with each push until he suddenly locked in, the bulge of his knot trapped inside Stiles, hot and hard, still aching with need. And then he felt Stiles jerk under him and he was lost. Derek could dimly hear himself howl and he really hoped Stiles didn’t have nosy neighbors, because if anyone called 911, whoever came to ‘rescue’ them was going to get an eyeful.

“Ohfuckohfuck, Derek!” Derek’s knot had Stiles whimpering, pressing back and grinding for more as he came. More of Derek’s knot and come, more of that perfect fur that he could feel rubbing against his ass and all over his skin. Stiles reached back to grip Derek’s neck drawing his mates face down into his own neck as he bared it for him. “Mmmm, my mate.”

Derek chuffed and nuzzled in against Stiles’ neck, hips still occasionally jerking as he rode out his first ever entire-body orgasm. He licked Stiles’ neck and ear, nuzzled in and nearly fell asleep before his knot went down, leaving him staggering almost drunkenly around when it did and he slipped out without any warning at all.

Derek’s warmth leaving him had Stiles raising his head and he didn't want to move, but managed to reach out for Derek, running his fingers through his fur. “You okay?” he asked, drawing Derek in closer again as Stiles moved to lie on the floor. “Come ‘ere.” Stiles was fucked out, Derek’s come leaking from his ass, thighs slick with it and the only thing he wanted to do was wrap himself around Derek and bury himself against his neck.

Derek collapsed down next to Stiles with a whine as he realized just how exhausted he was. He could hear Stiles chuckle and then there were wonderful fingers in his fur again. Derek licked them and nestled in closer, telling himself he was going to close his eyes just for a minute... He wasn’t at all surprised to wake up human again the next morning with a naked Stiles tucked against his side. Smiling, he turned around and gathered him into his arms, kissing him lightly until he woke up. “Hey. How’re you feeling?”

“Mmm,,, good,” Stiles said and smiled, wrapping himself around Derek. “You?” Stiles kissed Derek’s shoulder, moving his thigh over Derek’s hip to get closer to him. Stiles was still leaking Derek’s come from the night before, it a pleasant reminder of how they’d fucked. “You were a wolf,” Stiles chuckled and turned up to kiss Derek again.

“And you loved it.” Derek rolled onto his back, bringing Stiles with him, so he could run a hand over his back, checking for any scratches or other marks. “That was -” Derek shook his head. “Thank you,” he whispered against Stiles’ lips when they finally parted.

“Why are you thanking me?” Stiles asked, giving Derek a soft kiss. He rested there on top of him, turning his face into Derek’s neck to breathe him in. “If I remember correctly you enjoyed it just as much as I did and I hope it’s something that we do again. Maybe every full moon?”

“Yeah, I’d like that.” Derek kissed Stiles and stroked over his body again. “I’ve never... I only shifted like that where the other WEREs could see. I didn’t think you’d want to see me like that.”

“Well, you’re beautiful,” Stiles said with a smile. “Thank you for sharing that with me. And on top of being beautiful, you’re also a sexy wolf,” he teased and kissed Derek softly. “Don't ever feel like you have to hide who you are from me. We’re mates. And I love you.”

Derek kissed Stiles again, and said, “I love you too.”

Stiles kissed Derek back, slow and deep before nuzzling against his neck and closing his eyes, just enjoying Derek’s warmth and scent wrapped around him. Everything was perfect, until his phone started to buzz. Stiles made a sound of protest and reached blindly for it, grabbing it from the coffee table and sighed, sliding his finger across the screen. “Crap. Do you wanna run tonight with the pack?” Stiles asked. He’d forgotten to ask Derek since they’d been too busy fucking and completely forgot the full moon. “Allison is asking if I wanna watch the pups while they go out to the preserve.”

“Yeah, I could do that. I mean, if you think they’ll be okay with me being... you know.”

“They’ll be fine,” Stiles said with another kiss. “I’ll tell Allison so they’ll all know and won't be surprised when you shift,” Stiles suggested, already typing back a text to her. “She said she’ll be here before the moon rises to drop off the pups if you wanna catch a ride with her. The rest of the pack is meeting out by the clearing with the creek.”

“I’ll meet them there. You really think they’ll want me? To be their Alpha? I know most of them were pretty close to McCall...”

“We all were,” Stiles reminded him softly. “But I love you and I want you and they know that I wouldn't lead them wrong. I trust you and it might take them a while to really warm up, but they will. We’re all still mourning Scott. I think Jackson will be the hardest to come around, but he’s always a jackass so no one really thinks twice about how he acts. And if Allison accepts you, it’ll be easier for the rest of the pack.”

“I think it’s a good thing you and Allison are friends,” Derek commented absently. “She can help you ease into your new position.” Then he frowned. “Although I’m not sure what exactly that is, since you’re both the Alpha’s mate and the pack’s emissary.”

“I guess that makes me Super-Stiles.” Stiles laughed. He didn't see his position changing all that much since the pack looked up to him anyway, but with Derek being his mate the decisions for the pack lay with him solely unless Derek was making them. Stiles kissed Derek’s neck, sucking a faint mark into his skin. “Our roles might clash sometimes if decisions need to be made for the pack’s best interest, but it’s been peaceful, so I don't think we’re going to have a problem. We can work everything out.”

Derek took the phone away and set it down, then kissed Stiles. “We’ll work it out,” he agreed then slung Stiles over his shoulder as he stood up. “But pack dynamics can wait. There’s something else I’d rather work out just now.”

Stiles squeaked and flailed before laughing and holding onto Derek. “And what exactly is that?” he asked, grinning and squeezing Derek’s perfect ass as his mate carried him. “Because if it’s getting me squeaky clean before nightfall I think you have your work cut out for you.”

“Actually, I thought I’d dirty you up a little more first,” Derek told him, giving Stiles’ upturned ass a playful swat. “We can work on the cleaning up afterward.”

“Sounds like a perfect morning to me,” Stiles grinned, squeezing Derek’s ass again and giving him a swat in return. “You have a perfect ass,” he chuckled. “I could bounce a nickel off it.”

“How about you don’t try that, and I don’t have to rip your throat out,” Derek said dryly. He tossed Stiles down on the bed, then crawled after him, flashing him a slow smile. “With my teeth.”

Stiles grinned and bared his neck to Derek, sliding his foot along Derek’s thigh. “Well, I like your teeth on my neck. You should put them there now and fuck me hard into the mattress.”

Derek didn’t have to be asked twice.

***

> _Dear Stiles,_
> 
> _I’m sorry that I haven’t been able to write. I’ve been in the field for a long time. Our missions have been non-stop and -_
> 
> _Who am I kidding? Why am I even telling you this? Why am I apologizing for this instead of for Scott? Maybe because I know that I can never apologize enough for what happened. I don’t even know what I’m going to say to you in person. I feel like I know you. We’ve gotten to know each other, but I’m completely at a loss. Even trying to write it down, nothing is coming out the way I want... the way you deserve._
> 
> _Considering I’ll probably meet you before you even get this letter, maybe it’s irrelevant._
> 
> _I’m just - I’m so sorry, Stiles. I’ll be seeing you soon._
> 
> _Derek_

 

***

Little growls and yips and howls filled the apartment as Stiles ran around, chasing pups and laughing as one skid and bounced into the couch and the other ran into the coffee table. “Careful,” he told them reaching down and herding them out of danger. Stiles slid across the hardwood floor in his socks and threw himself down into the nest he’d made in the corner for the pups before they both pounced on him, growling and chewing on his fingers and shirt. “Ow, ow, sharp puppy teeth, careful.”

There was a crash from the patio, but instead of some monster trying to break in and attack the pups, there was just a heap of black fur and glowing red eyes. Derek stood up and carefully stepped away from the gate he’d just knocked over, then shook himself off and started to move forward, only to end up back on the floor once more when he tripped over a wooden bar. The puppies, who had been attacking Stiles, whirled around and stared at Derek, then immediately raced over to pounce on him as well.

Stiles sat up and frowned, seeing Derek half-laying on the puppy gate and then laughed softly when the pups growled and chewed on his ears and face, licking and biting playfully as they jumped around on him. “Sorry,” Stiles said as he got up and walked over to them. “Wasn't sure when you would get back and I didn't want them running outside.” He picked up one pup and then the other as they yipped and whined to be let down so Derek could get up off the puppy gate.

Derek got up again, this time minding his steps as he made his way over to Stiles to sniff at the puppies he held. They both wriggled in Stiles’ grasp, whimpering to him as though he could set them free. Derek gave them each a lick to say hello before he leaned against Stiles’ legs.

Stiles smiled and put the puppies down and they instantly tried to jump and play with Derek, one of them settling for nibbling on his paw as Stiles reached down and scratched Derek’s ear. “I’m guessing the run went well,” he said and grabbed the baby gate with his other hand, putting it back in place at the back door. “The pups have been riled up all night from the full moon.” After another scratch to Derek’s ear, Stiles headed back over to the nest that he’d made and settled down into it, smiling when Abbie ran over and jumped on him, licking his face. Stiles laughed.

The puppy romping around Derek’s feet raced around to try to pounce his tail, and Derek allowed him to do it before he turned around and picked him up by the scruff, carrying him over to where Stiles was sprawled with his sister. He plunked the puppy down on Stiles’ chest and lay down on the blankets, growling playfully at the pups when they both pounced on him.

Stiles chuckled, watching the pups try to devour Derek. “This one is Abbie,” he said as he ran a hand over her back as she tried to jump on Derek’s head. “And this one is Jake,” he said and ran his hand over Jake, even as Jake tried to turn and bite at his fingers. “Allison asked if they could stay for the night when she dropped them off and I told her we’d watch them until morning. She needed a night off and the pups get a little difficult during the full moon.” They’d been playing non-stop since Allison left. Stiles was starting to think they’d never fall asleep.

Derek chuffed in response, tail thumping against the ground as Abbie licked at the corner of his mouth. Derek put a paw on her to keep her from completely knocking herself out of his jaw, then gave her a lick in return, scenting her briefly. She yipped and nestled in, and it didn’t take two minutes before she was joined by her brother, leaving Derek with two wriggling, warm bodies pressed against him. Derek licked each then looked up at Stiles, who was staring at him with a strange expression on his face. Derek whined an inquiry and tilted his head.

Stiles smiled and reached out a hand to run over each pup before he ran his fingers through Derek’s fur. “I’m okay,” he assured him, scooting up closer to them and laying down so he could have one hand petting Derek and the other stroking the pups. They nibbled at his fingers every now and then, but they were too fascinated with Derek to give him much thought. This was not good. Stiles was fucked. He could feel his internal clock ticking and seeing Derek with the pups was making it worse. Stiles was starting to want pups of his own.

Derek nuzzled the pups, then Stiles, then the pups again.

“I missed them.” Stiles smiled as the pups started to yawn and whine, snuggling in closer to Derek for sleep. “I watched them a lot when you were away. Sometimes I think they’re the only thing that kept me going as long as I did. They’ll probably be human come morning,” he informed Derek. “Allison left the baby bag and clothes, so we have what we need.” Stiles lay carefully petting the pups as they slept and smiled, his other hand stroking through the fur on Derek’s head, fingers scratching behind his ear absently. He wasn't sure how long he lay like that, curled up against Derek and the pups, but Stiles was soon fast asleep, breathing evenly and snuggling in closer to the three wolves that lay with him in the nest.

***

Stiles woke up to the smell of bacon and his stomach growling. He sniffed appreciatively and smiled, reaching out for where Derek had slept beside him. The nest was cold and there were no pups or babies with him. Stiles crawled out of the nest and headed into the kitchen where one puppy was romping around the kitchen floor and Abbie was buried in Derek’s neck. Stiles squinted his eyes at her. That was _his_ spot. “Morning,” Stiles managed without a growl and walked over to them. He leaned in to give Derek’s cheek a kiss, ran a hand over Abbie’s back and scooped Jake up when he stumbled by. “I see you’re her new favorite person to cling to,” Stiles said as he kissed Jake, who yipped and nibbled at his fingers.

Derek kissed Stiles in return, smiling at how easily Stiles cradled Jake against his chest. “I tried to put her down, but she started crying. Does Jake spend most of his time shifted, or just around the full moon?”

“He’s shifted most of the time. I think he likes being shifted because he can run around and play harder than if he was in human form. He’s a really rough puppy,” Stiles chuckled and put Jake down, who instantly started nibbling on his toes. “You wanna come with me Abbie?” “Stiles asked her, holding his arms out for her. “Uncle Derek can make us food faster if you come with me.”

She stayed put. “MY doggie,” she declared firmly, scowling at Stiles, never even easing her grip on Derek.

Derek gave him a sheepish smile. “She’s been calling me that ever since I woke up. I must smell the same to her. Are they staying here tonight, too?”

“Nope. I’m not fighting a one-year-old for snuggling rights with my mate,” Stiles said and tried not to give Abbie a look and picked up Jake again, petting him as he whined and started licking his fingers instead of his toes. “Come on buddy, let’s go see what your mommy left in your baby bag. I’m sure she left you some puppy chow,” he said to Jake and walked over to the table where he’d left it and started digging through it.

“You know, you could shift and go play with your brother,” Derek told Abbie, but she was shaking her head before the words were even completely out of his mouth. Derek sighed continued to cook and when Abbie was offered a scrambled egg, she let go of Derek so fast he nearly toppled over. Derek reached for Stiles, pulling him in close for a long kiss once they’d settled both of the kids down with breakfast. “Think we have time to take them to the park after breakfast?”

"I guess we can," Stiles said, leaning against Derek and watching the kids eat breakfast. "I was going to text Allison to come pick them up after breakfast but I can tell her you wanna take them to the park." Stiles supposed it wouldn't be a bad idea for Derek to get close to the kids if it would help integrate him into the pack better.

Derek kissed Stiles’ neck, nosing in to scent him just like Abbie had him. “I’d say you’re my doggie, but I’ll have to settle for mate instead,” he teased softly, biting Stiles gently. One arm wrapped around Stiles’ waist, pulling him back against Derek’s body.

“Mate is better than doggie anyway,” Stiles said, moving a hand into Derek’s hair and keeping him close, his other resting on Derek’s arm around his waist. Stiles tilted his head, offering his neck to Derek and sighed happily. Having Derek close eased whatever itch he’d had under his skin earlier and if Stiles could keep him pressed up against him all day he would. “I might have to bite her little fingers off is she doesn't share,” Stiles teased quietly, watching Jake gobble down his bowl of puppy chow and Abbie picking at her egg.

Derek chuckled and nipped Stiles’ ear. “You seemed to think doggie was pretty good yesterday,” Derek reminded him in a low voice. “And you can share me with her for another hour or two. Just remember, she’s littler than you and she doesn’t know any better.”

“I think you overestimate my maturity when it comes to sharing,” Stiles laughed softly and craned his neck to kiss Derek. Stiles knew he’d fight dirty like they were on the playground if it meant he got to keep Derek all to himself. “Couple of hours,” Stiles agreed. “Then I’m dragging you straight back to bed for the remainder of the full moon.”

Derek grinned and kissed Stiles, then went to put some clothes on, stopping by the table to kiss Abbie on top of the head and scratch behind one of Jake’s ears on the way. As if on cue, Abbie started crying at Derek’s disappearance. “I’ll be right back,” Derek called out. “Unless you want me to shift to go to the park, I need clothes on...”

“Just go get dressed,” Stiles called back and went to sit with Abbie at the table, plucking her out of her chair and putting her on his lap as he tried to get her to stop crying and eat the rest of her egg. “Uncle Derek will be right back,” he told her. “Then we’re going to go to the park and run around, okay? But you have to eat your egg first. Your brother is already done with his breakfast.”

“Doggie,” she sobbed, looking around, trying to wriggle out of his grasp. “Doggie!”

Stiles held on tight and propped her up against his neck where Derek was just nuzzling and kissing him, hoping that whatever scent she was focused on was concentrated there enough to calm her down until Derek was done dressing. “Shh, it’s okay. Be a good girl and Doggie will be right back.”

Her sobs began to die down as she nestled in against his neck, snuffling at him until she lay hiccuping damply against his shoulder. Derek found her resting against Stiles like that, a teary bundle of woebegone babyhood. He smiled as he leaned against the doorway and watched them. “Looks like I might’ve just been replaced,” he commented quietly.

Stiles rubbed her back and kissed her head, holding her close in hopes that she wouldn't start sobbing again, or worse, shrieking. “Just cause I smell like you,” he replied quietly and ran a hand over her head. Stiles rocked her for a few more moments before he stood up and started over to Derek. “You wanna try and help her finish breakfast while I change?”

“Yeah, I can do that.” Derek took her from Stiles and kissed him lightly. He rubbed Abbie’s back like Stiles had and was rewarded with an immediate snuffle and nuzzle in. “How about eating your egg, sweetheart? We can go play in the park after you’re done.” She sniffled and nodded, then allowed him to feed her breakfast.

It didn't take long for Stiles to wipe down and put on a fresh pair of clothes. When he came back into the kitchen he smiled at the sight of everyone, but Jake was sniffing around on the floor. “Oh no you don't,” Stiles said and hurried over to grab Jake and then rushed outside to the patio and put him on the puppy pad. Jake promptly used number one and two and then pounced around the patio when he was done. “Crisis averted!” Stiles shouted and picked Jake back up to give him praise and kisses, heading back into the apartment where he’d left Derek and Abbie.

“What was that all about?” Derek asked when Stiles came back into the kitchen. “What crisis?”

“Jake deciding that the floor was a good place to relieve himself. He usually uses the restroom about thirty minutes after he eats and he was sniffing around like he was about to go. But he made it outside on the puppy pad.” Jake was licking Stiles’ neck as he held him close and scratched his ears. “When he gets that sniffing searching face thing going on you have to watch him or he’ll go wherever he wants.”

“That sounds like the voice of experience talking.” Derek fed Abbie a bite of eggs and popped the last of the bacon in his mouth. “What about her? Will she shift when she needs to go?”

Stiles shook his head. “Not all the time. Sometimes she’ll wiggle around like she’s doing the potty dance and I’ll try and take her to the restroom to use the toilet, but she still wears diapers and she doesn't make it most of the time.” Stiles went to the baby bag to check what was in it. “We have clothes for Jake and a change of clothes for Abbie and plenty of diapers and snacks. We should be good for the park for a little while.”

Derek blinked at Stiles for a minute, surprise on his face. “Do they change when you tell them to?”

Stiles shrugged. “Sometimes Allison growls at Abbie and she turns, but she’s pretty stubborn, if you can't tell,” he said and looked over at the two of them, where Abbie was still clinging to Derek. “Looks like you’re on Abbie duty today. Jake will be my buddy though, he loves everyone too much.” Stiles kissed the pup’s head and was promptly rewarded with a lick.

Derek nodded and got up, then went to kiss Stiles. “We’ll have a great day. And I’m sure Abbie’ll let go soon. Maybe Allison can come pick them up there and we could all go out to lunch?”

“I’ll text her,” Stiles said, grabbing the baby bag and several bottles of water that he kept by the door. “Looks like you’re sitting in the back with them and I’m driving since she won't let go and I don't have car seats for them.” Stiles grabbed his keys and phone, making sure he had his wallet too before shoving his feet into some flip flops and heading out the front door and out to the Jeep.

“We can’t put them in the car if you don’t have car seats for them!” Derek argued, following Stiles out to the parking lot. “We’ll have to walk.”

“I’m not walking. The park is too far and all three of you are werewolves with super healing, I think you can survive sitting in the back seat. If anything happens I’ll be the one that’ll be in trouble. Cause you know, human.” Stiles pointed out and threw the bag and bottles into the back of the Jeep and headed around to the front with Jake still in his arms.

Derek scowled at the Jeep. “We should get you something safer to drive,” he grumbled as he climbed into the back seat. “Can’t you get a ticket or arrested for driving with a baby that isn’t in a car seat?”

“I’m not getting rid of my Jeep and my dad’s the sheriff… I haven't been arrested since I was a teenager. You really think they’re gonna stop this Jeep?” Stiles asked, handing Jake back to Derek once Derek and Abbie were strapped in. “Plus this Jeep is like a family heirloom. It’s never being traded in or retired.”

“It’ll fold like tinfoil if you get in an accident.” Derek took Jake and settled him in his lap along with Abbie. “Can we at least get something better when we start our own family?”

Stiles turned and looked at Derek, torn between his jealousy of Abbie, his defense about his Jeep and his internal clock killing him in wanting a family. “That’s still going to be a few years from now, remember? No babies, no new car.” So he guessed he could save his Jeep for a little longer before he was stuck in a mommy-mobile.

“I know. What kind of games do they like to play at the park?”

“Fetch?” Stiles said with a shrug and started backing out of the spot, pulling out onto the road soon after. “I don't know… I don't take them to the park. No car seats,” he reminded Derek. “I can't drive and hold them. I usually just bring them out to the grass and play with them if I don't have them inside. This is our first park visit.”

“Do you want a house? You know... in a few years?” Derek asked tentatively.

“Maybe?” Stiles said carefully as he thought about it. A couple of weeks ago he never even thought he’d actually ever have a family. “I grew up in a house and it was nice.” His dad still lived there. Stiles wasn't sure if he’d be able to afford buying a house since the pack split everything evenly when it came to the bakery and they were all comfortable, but not rich. “Houses are expensive…” Then again, so were babies. Stiles wasn't sure he could have both.

Derek smiled and kissed the top of Abbie’s head. “I have a little money put away,” he told Stiles. “As long as you don’t want a mansion somewhere, I think we can afford it. If you want to, that is.”

Stiles glanced at Derek in the rear view mirror nervously. “You wanna buy a house, like… now?” Stiles tried to stomp on whatever instincts he was getting from their mate bond that was demanding he fill that house up with all the pups they could fit in it.

Derek hesitated. “We could if you wanted to,” he answered carefully. “But I can wait a few years for it. Since we’re not having pups right away, we don’t have to make a decision today.”

Stiles swallowed against the thickness in his throat, forcing himself not to jump on the opportunity to buy a house and fill it with pups. He reminded himself just how happy he was in his apartment and that Derek didn't want pups yet and a house would only make Stiles’ _need_ to fill it that much worse. He opened his mouth, trying to figure out what to say when he saw the lights in his rearview mirror. He sighed heavily. “Great. Just great.” Stiles bit the inside of his cheek and put his signal light on to pull over, managing to park in the lot of a dry cleaner. He dug around for his license and registration, ready to hand it over.

“I thought you said you never got pulled over,” Derek said, glancing behind him to see a rangy, middle-aged man get out of the cruiser and start walking up to the Jeep. “Allison’s never going to let us have the babies again.”

Stiles laughed nervously. “Oh… I, uh - never get pulled over… you know unless it’s - DAD!” Stiles smiled at him and tucked his papers into the visor. “How ya doin’ pops?” And what the hell did he do this time to get pulled over? But Stiles was pretty sure he knew it was his absence and his dad checking up on him more than anything.

“Somehow, I think that’s a question I should be asking you,” his father said dryly, looking from Stiles to the back seat and back again. “Something you want to tell me?”

Stiles chewed his lips and glanced at Derek in the rearview mirror and then back to his dad. “We’re taking the kids to the park?” he attempted and when his dad glared harder, Stiles sighed. “Ummm, this is Derek?” he tried again.

The Sherriff didn’t take his eyes off of Stiles. “Derek as in Scott’s lieutenant?” he asked, and when Stiles nodded, he said, “That still doesn’t explain what he’s doing in your car holding kids that aren’t in car seats.”

"We didn't have any and I figured a short drive to the park was better than a long walk?" Stiles really couldn't believe he was getting grilled over this. "Dad, they're werewolves... They can take a short drive to the park."

“They look like babies to me,” his father said, crossing his arms over his chest. “You do realize this isn’t like your habit of going five miles over the posted speed limit everywhere you go, right? This is a safety issue.”

"Allison is picking them up at the park. Safety restored. Don't worry, I'm not going to kill them like I killed my goldfish, which was totally not my fault by the way," he informed everyone. "How was I supposed to know the water needed aeration when I was five?"

Derek blinked at Stiles and swallowed hard when the Sherriff looked back at him. “I told you we should’ve walked or gotten car seats,” he mumbled.

Stiles’ mouth fell open and he looked at Derek in the rearview mirror. “Traitor! What happened to combined fronts? You’re not supposed to side with my dad,” Stiles said with a look. He looked between Derek and the pups and his dad. He sighed. “Are you going to arrest me or give me a ticket? If you take me the kids still have to ride in your cruiser without car seats...”

“I really should.”  
“So does that mean that we’re free to go?” Stiles asked, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. “Uh, Derek really wants to get them to the park,” Stiles said, throwing him under the bus since Derek had sided with his dad earlier.

Derek was treated to a laser stare. “In a hurry?” the Sheriff asked.

“We just thought it was a nice day to go to the park,” Derek replied with wide eyes.

“We?” The Sheriff looked at Stiles with a raised brow. “Something else you want to tell me?”

Stiles gave that nervous laugh again and rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, while we’re at it… uh, Derek and I are together. He’s also the new Alpha of the pack.” He smiled innocently at his father.

“And when were you going to tell me about all this?”

“In a few weeks? When I was planning to come for that dinner we planned.” That Stiles had completely forgot about until _just_ now. “And bring Derek…” Stiles chewed on his bottom lip. He was about to give his dad the ‘I’m an adult’ speech if he kept giving him that look. “I haven't been hiding him… we’ve just been spending some time together. Derek just got back not too long ago from WEREs.”

“Uh huh.” The Sheriff crossed his arms over his chest, the very picture of disapproving fatherhood. “Which dinner was that, again? The one you missed last week or the one you barely ate before that?”

“One in the future,” Stiles said, scrunching up his face. He had forgotten about those dinners too. Then again, Stiles hadn't been up for dinners since Derek had left to go back to WEREs.

“Friday.” It wasn’t a question and there was no option of refusal. “Seven o’clock.”

“Further in the future?” Stiles said and raised his brows. At the look his dad gave him he slouched in his seat and sighed. “Seven,” he agreed. “Do I need to bring anything for dinner?”

“Just your... Derek.” The sheriff turned to leave, then looked back at Stiles. “And if I ever catch you with those kids - or _any_ kids in your car with no seat belt, I’ll write you a ticket that sums up the last fifteen years in one fine. Do you understand me?”

“Yes, Sir,” Stiles said and winced. That would be a huge fine and Stiles tried not to think about how he wouldn't be able to ever buy a house or afford to have his own kids. “No more driving without car seats.”

A grunt was the only reply Stiles received, and then his father turned and walked off. For a minute there was only silence in the Jeep and then Derek said slowly, “So... that was your dad.”

“Uh, yeah. That was him.” Stiles waited until his dad drove off and Stiles started the Jeep up again, careful as he pulled out onto the road again. “Sorry… that wasn't really how I thought you’d be meeting him for the first time.”

“Probably a lot sooner than you’d planned,” Derek commented, rubbing one hand absently up and down over Abbie’s back. She snuffled and nestled up against him, her eyes drooping, and he frowned. “Are they supposed to be falling asleep this soon after getting up?”

“No… probably tired from running around from the full moon. Or you know, she thinks your scent is so intoxicating that it’s just lulling her to sleep,” Stiles said and turned on the road that would lead them to the park.

Derek smiled. “Maybe we should try laying down when we get ho- back to the apartment and we can see if you’re intoxicated enough to fall asleep.”

“I might be after our park trip,” Stiles said and pulled into the parking lot, finding a spot and killing the engine. “But usually your scent does other things to me,” he chuckled. Stiles got out of the Jeep and pulled the seat up so Derek could get out.

Derek smirked at Stiles and handed Jake out to him, then climbed out and blew in Abbie’s face. Abbie’s eyelashes fluttered and she scrunched her face up at Derek. “I think she agrees with you about me being a traitor.”

Stiles gave an amused sound and gave Derek the ‘traitor’ look again and kissed Jake before he went around to grab some water bottles from the back and the baby bag. “Doesn't look like she’s up for playing since she just wants to cling to you… guess it’s just gonna be Jake and I playing while we wait for Allison to get here, isn't that right Jake?” Jake growled and yipped at him then licked his fingers happily.

“You’re going to miss out on all the fun,” Derek told Abbie, nudging his forehead against hers. She just stared at him with big eyes, then reached up to pat at his cheek. “I’m really not that much fun. Stiles is a lot more interesting than I am, I promise.”

Once Stiles locked up the Jeep, he walked towards the park with Jake in his arms and Derek trailing him with Abbie. He put Jake down when they reached the grass and found a spot under a tree to put the baby bag and water under, glancing where Jake was already eating grass. “Are you sure you don't wanna shift and play with your brother?” Stiles asked Abbie when Derek joined him.

She wriggled to get down, then tottered over to Jake and patted him on the side, plunking down heavily onto the ground next to him. Derek wandered over to Stiles, wrapping an arm around him as he watched the two of them sniff at each other. He was about to lean in to scent Stiles when Abbie looked up and said, “Doggie!”

“Not right now,” Derek told her.

“Are you sure?” Stiles asked with a chuckle. “What if she starts wailing and shrieking for Doggie?” He leaned against Derek and watched Jake climb over his sister’s legs and plop down on her, licking and nipping at her clothes and sniffing her fingers.

Derek scowled at that prospect, especially when Abbie demanded “Doggie!” again in a louder voice. “It’s not good for them to have anything they want, is it?”

“Your brother is a Doggie,” Stiles told her. “You can have that Doggie,” he added and pointed at Jake. He raised his shoulder at Derek. “They don't demand Doggie from me, so how would I know about that?” He smiled and kissed his mate. “But then again their vocabulary is pretty limited right now.”

Derek chuckled and kissed Stiles. “Just wait until they realize that magic is a lot more interesting than yet another werewolf.”

“Shhhh, they don't know about magic.” Stiles laughed and kissed Derek back. “I don't do magic around them. Personal gain and all.” And if he started then he’d never be able to stop because they’d be demanding it all the time.

Thankfully, Abbie seemed happy enough with her brother being her new Doggie, because she grabbed him and hauled him in for a hug, then squealed with delight when he licked her chin. “Is it always like this?” Derek asked quietly. “When you have the kids?”

“Them being adorable and difficult all at once?” Stiles asked with a smile, leaning back against Derek more and resting his head on Derek’s shoulder as he watched Jake and Abbie. “Yeah, most of the time. They’re really good pups… but they’re kids too, so they have those moments like Abbie had with the crying earlier.” He turned to press a kiss to Derek’s jaw and nuzzled him. “I like spending time with them though. I kinda thought they’d be the only kids I’d ever get to have and help raise a week ago.”

“Not the only kids,” Derek assured Stiles. “Hopefully ours won’t take sides, though.”

Stiles smiled and gave an amused sound as he thought about their future kids climbing all over Derek in his wolf form, both as pups and kids. “What if we end up with them sooner than a few years?” he asked, running his hands over Derek’s arms. Stiles wasn't sure how long he was going to be able to hold off this time bomb ticking inside of him until it was going to end up causing them to never have sex until they were ready for kids.

Derek went still behind him. “How much sooner?” he asked carefully, his hands tightening a little around Stiles, pulling him back closer. “I know you said you wanted to wait...”

“You agreed to a few years so I guess I figured that’s when we’d start.” Stiles shrugged. “But -” he chewed his lip and gave Derek’s arm a squeeze. “I mean, I’m not pregnant or anything, if that’s what you’re afraid of. I just - I dunno… sooner? How soon is too soon?”

“I don’t know. You’re the one having them, so... what do you think? Do you know how you getting pregnant would even work?”

“Well… if we’re having a facts of life conversation,” Stiles teased and raised both his hands, making a circle with fingers on one hand and poked another finger into it. “I think that’s a start… and you know there’s lots of good feeling things that happen.” He kissed Derek’s neck and breathed him in. “I have books and I can call Deaton. I’m pretty sure it’ll be like a normal pregnancy, I’ll just have to have a c-section to deliver them.”

Derek gave Stiles’ ass a swat. “You know what I mean. Women don’t get pregnant every time _they_ have sex. How does it work? With you deciding and then how long does it take?”

“Well… from what I read I pretty much have to make a hardcore choice to have some pups… and I guess it kickstarts something in me. Crazy hormones and everything. I’m not sure how long it’ll take to get pregnant after that. I guess it could be the normal months to a year or so that most women deal with, but they don't have mates and knots and super werewolf sperm, either.”

Derek’s ears turned red and he tucked his face into Stiles’ neck. “I don’t have super werewolf sperm,” he muttered. Derek breathed in deeply before he looked up again. “What made you change your mind? About waiting?”

Stiles tried to digest the butterflies that he could feel building up inside of his stomach and breathed out slowly. “Honestly?” he asked quietly, wrapping Derek’s arms a little tighter around him as he looked back to the kids. “Mostly last night… seeing you with the pups, but I think when we officially mated I just developed this _need_ to have pups with you. It’s been steadily building over the last week, but having them with us last night and today kinda cemented that feeling.”

“You think ours will be like them?”

“Werewolves?” Stiles asked, watching Jake roll around in the grass and lick at his sister’s fingers when she reached out to touch him. “If they’re going to be emissaries then they’ll be human, but it’s possible for us to have werewolf kids.” Stiles kinda hoped they’d have one of each, but he wouldn't mind just pups if their kids weren't destined to be emissaries to continue his line. He’d love them all the same.

“Whenever you’re ready... I think I’d like not having to wait years for them. But it’s up to you.”

Stiles tried to stomp on the hope that bubbled up inside of him and his need to demand they have them _now_ , knowing he couldn't just have a baby, especially in a small apartment. He chewed on his bottom lip, thinking about all the things they’d need to do this correctly. “Well, I mean… we can't have them now. Where would I put them in the apartment? There’s not enough room in the bedroom for a crib and baby furniture. Much less two cribs or however many cribs we’d end up needing.”

Derek chuckled and kissed Stiles’ neck. “It isn’t like Amazon 2-day shipping. Deciding to start a family doesn’t mean the babies show up on the doorstep within 48 hours,” he teased. “If you get pregnant just like a woman, then it’ll still take nine months, right? That’s plenty of time to find a house we like.”

“Yeah but then we have to _move_ while I’m pregnant. Do you know how much of a pain that’s gonna be? I’ll have to enlist the whole pack to move the apartment because I won't be able to help with anything.” And he’d most likely end up driving them all insane making sure they didn't break any of his collectibles.

“We can always start looking for a house now,” Derek suggested. “You can wait to decide on getting pregnant, right?”

“Technically, yes. As long as my internal clock doesn't start driving me insane,” Stiles said with a sigh. “Which… it might. It’ll be harder to not _want_ pups when that happens, but I’d still have to choose to have them.” Which might drive him nuts with wanting them and holding off on having them.

There was a tug on Derek’s pants leg and Derek looked down to see a naked boy staring up at them. “Maybe you could ask Allison about taking the kids for a weekend if your clock starts acting up,” he suggested. “Do you think that would help?” He kissed Stiles and bent to pick Jake up. “You want a couple of cousins?”

Stiles didn't tell Derek that it would probably make it worse to have them around if that happened, instead kissing Derek’s cheek and then running a hand down Jake’s back. “I should get him into some clothes.” Stiles grabbed the bag and started digging inside of it. “Abbie do you want to share a snack with your brother?” he asked and glanced over at her, where she was now standing and tugging on Derek’s jeans too.

All Abbie said was, “Doggie!” and tugged on Derek’s jeans harder. Derek chuckled and scooped her up, then kissed her on the nose.

“You think she’ll be this enthralled with our pups?” Derek asked, looking over at Stiles. “You want some little Doggies to play with?” he asked Abbie, bouncing both babies in his arms.

“Probably,” Stiles said as he pulled out some clothes for Jake and a diaper, setting them on the baby bag. He held his arms out for Jake, taking him when Derek handed him over. “She most likely won't remember being able to shift and they’ll stop shifting around two or three years of age. You’ll be the only one that can shift in the pack permanently.”

“How do you know that? Did you find some kind of Werewolves and Emissaries for Dummies book?”

“Kind of,” Stiles chuckled, wiping Jake down with baby wipes before helping him into his pull-ups diaper. “I already told you about the books my mom left for me. Those were helpful, but Deaton gave me a lot of books on werewolves when Scott was turned. You can look at them if you want,” Stiles offered, starting to dress Jake even as he was fussing about being clothed.

Derek nodded, following Stiles over to the picnic table, where he sat down and settled Abbie in his lap. “My mom had a lot of books about werewolves,” he said quietly. “She used to try to get Laura and I to read them, but... Sometimes I wonder if things might have been different if I’d paid more attention.”

“You were a kid,” Stiles said with a small shrug and handed Derek a baggie filled with animal crackers for Abbie. “You did kid things because the whole werewolf world was normal for you and just part of your life. Of course you didn't want to stick your nose in a book and learn.” Stiles on the other hand had Scott’s transformation thrust upon him and they’d had to learn all they could in a short amount of time. Their lives as teenagers had been completely different.

Derek handed Abbie a cracker and watched her start gnawing on it. “I know you said you don’t like to think about how things might’ve been different, but with us talking about having a family...”

Stiles got some sesame seed crackers out for Jake and handed one to him, watching him suck on it for a few moments. “Things will be different for us,” he promised Derek. “I’m not going to let anything happen to you, the pups or our pack and we’ll all be okay.” Even if Stiles ended up having to sacrifice himself in the end for that to happen. “Our family will be okay.”

Derek reached out to pull Stiles towards him, leaning over to kiss him. When they parted, Derek smiled at Stiles and sighed. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” Stiles said, reaching out to squeeze Derek’s hand. He wasn't sure what had just happened, but he was happy that whatever he’d said made Derek feel better. “No more sad face,” he added with another squeeze. “We’ve got happy things to think about like two cuties.” Stiles kissed Jake and growled playfully, tickling him lightly as he squealed and ate his cracker. “And we have a house and pups of our own to think about too. All happy things.”


	10. Chapter 10

Stiles walked through the latest house on his list and sighed as he stopped in the _huge_ walk in closet. “This is like a small office,” he mumbled, crossing his arms and hanging his head. This wasn't the place and the last gazillion houses they looked at hadn't been, either.

“This is _gorgeous_ ,” Lydia pointed out. “Have you seen the bathroom? It’s a work of art!” She sighed when she caught sight of Stiles’ face. “What’s wrong with it?”

“It’s not the one,” Stiles said and turned towards her, leaning against the doorframe. “We’ve been looking at houses for a month and a half now and we still haven't found the right house.” None of them felt like _home_ to Stiles. He couldn't see himself raising a family in any of them.

Lydia crossed her arms over her chest and gave him a stern look. “Well, it _might_ help us get closer to finding the right house if you could figure out what you’re looking for,” she pointed out, shaking her head. “Honestly, Stiles! Poor Annemarie’s been wearing herself to the bone trying to find something for you. If you’re not careful, you’re going to end up getting fired by your realtor.”

“She can't fire me, we’re paying _her_. It doesn't work like that,” he said with a pout and sighed. Stiles ran a hand over his face and rubbed at his eyes. “I don't know how to explain it. I just _know_ it’s not the house. It’s a feeling I have.”

“Whatever you’re paying her, unless it’s in the mid-five figures, it’s not enough.” She looked around the closet that would have been more than serviceable even for her in high school. “This really is a beautiful house. But if you don’t like it, you don’t like it. C’mon, let’s go break the bad news to Annemarie.” At the rate Stiles was turning down houses, the woman was going to need therapy soon.

When they walked back to the front of the house, Stiles’ hunched his shoulders at the look he was given by both Lydia and Annemarie. “It’s not the one,” he said with a sigh. “What else do we have on the list for today?”

Annemarie checked the leather portfolio she carried. “There’s a lovely four bedroom Victorian just a few blocks from the library, a cozy little Craftsman that could easily be added on to, and -” She shook her head and snapped her portfolio closed. “It looks like that’s all.”

Stiles was already making faces at the names of the house designs that he didn't quite understand. “I guess we can look at those… When will you have more houses for us to look at if I don't like any of those?”

The woman looked like she might cry. “I’m sorry. I don’t know. I -” She sighed and glanced down at her portfolio. “The price range you gave me is rather... restrictive.”

Stiles ran both of his hands over his face and through his hair. He thought that fifty thousand for a house was pretty decent and didn't understand why they couldn't find a good house for that amount. “I don't know if we can afford much more… what’s the next price bracket?” He hadn't exactly talked to Derek about their budget since all Derek ever said was ‘whatever you want.’

Annemarie licked her lips and opened her portfolio, then handed him a flyer. “It’s actually a pretty good bargain,” she said, although she didn’t hold out much hope. “The owners just put it on the market and they’re hoping for a quick sale.”

Stiles could feel the blood drain from his face and he was pretty sure he was white as a sheet when he looked at the price. “It’s a hundred-thousand dollars.” He thought he might just faint. There was no way that he could afford this. He swallowed and looked at the pictures that were too small to really show him anything, but it was located near the preserve. “But I guess we can look at it.” He handed the flyer to Lydia.

“It’s beautiful.” She scanned the list of the house’s features. “Why don’t we go see that one now?”

“Yeah, okay. It’s not like it would hurt anything.” Except his wallet.

Annemarie gave them a tremulous smile, then led the way out to her car. Once everyone was inside, she got behind the wheel. “It’s just outside of town, right on the edge of the Beacon Hills preserve,” she told Stiles as she started the car up and put it into gear. “Is that going to be too far out for you?”

“No, that’s fine,” he said as he buckled in and glanced at Lydia. He reached out for her hand, trying not to crush it as he held it, breathing out his nerves. He was trying not to let the price of that house drive him into a panic attack.

Lydia gave his hand a squeeze. “Relax,” she said softly.

“Trying, Lyds… I’m just… I just wanna find the right house, you know? It’s a big decision…”

“I know. But you already know Derek’s going to love whatever you pick, as long as you love it, too. Just try to keep an open mind about it, okay?”

Stiles just nodded and held her hand a little tighter. He was a little frustrated with Derek at the moment, wishing that Derek would just say something other than ‘whatever you want’ since it was his decision too where they were going to live. What if he picked the wrong place? What if Derek ended up not liking whatever place Stiles liked and agreed to it because he just didn't care to look at any more houses? He sighed and stared out the window as they drove to the new house, lost in his thoughts until Lydia squeezed his hand. “We’re here? Wow, that was fast.”

“This is a fairly new rancher,” Annemarie said as she pulled into the driveway. “It’s got a full acre lot, with access to the preserve if you and your husband like nature walks. And it comes with a pool, as well as several fruit trees in the backyard.”

“That sounds nice,” Stiles said as the car stopped and he got out. Then again, all the places sounded nice until he actually saw them. He wondered if this place would be any different. He took a deep breath and tried to calm his nerves, wrapping his arm around Lydia when she came around to join him and held her close. “Let’s look at this thing and hope for the best…”

Annemarie nodded and unlocked the door. “The tiling here in the foyer is Spanish, and it has the same large set tile in the kitchen and by the French doors that go out to the patio,” she said, beginning the tour for the first time since Stiles had told her not to bother. “Off to your right we have the formal living room, and as we go this way you’ll see the fireplace and formal dining room.”

Stiles looked around as she spoke, even though he really didn't care about all that crap. It wasn't like he could tell the difference between Spanish tile and regular tile or the fibers in the carpet. It was all tile and carpet and flooring to him. “Which way to the rooms?” he asked as he gave Lydia a squeeze and then released her, wandering around rooms she was showing them.

Annemarie pointed to a door. “Through the great room there and down the hall. The smaller bedrooms are on the right, guest bath on the left, and the master bedroom and bath is at the end of the hall on the left.”

It was a little overwhelming for Stiles since his nerves were already too frayed, but he nodded, shoving his hands into his pockets and started down the hall towards the bedrooms. The great room was large and open and it made him a little uncomfortable because he was so nervous and he peaked into the guest restroom and rooms on the way towards the master bedroom. All the rooms were larger than the one that he’d grown up in and the master bedroom had a monster restroom and closet. Everything was picture perfect.

Stiles ended up wandering back through the house and outside onto the patio while Lydia and Annemarie talked. He was tired, his neck hurt and he felt defeated on this whole mission to find the perfect house. The yard was huge and Stiles wasn't sure what an actual acre looked like, but he was pretty sure some part of the forest behind the house was part of the preserve. He stepped off the patio and sunk down onto the grass, letting the silence of the forest calm him. It was nice and private and Stiles could hear his thoughts more clearly than he had for the last two months they’d been searching for a house.

Before long, Lydia walked over to sit down next to him. “Just so you know, if you don’t take this place, you’re absolutely insane,” she informed him, staring out at the pool. “I think I might have to move in here with you when you buy it...”

Stiles smiled a little at that, wrapping his arm around her and holding her close, resting his cheek on the top of her head. “We’d have to put a tarp over the top of the pool so the pups won't fall in when they’re out here playing.” Stiles could see them now, running around in the yard with Derek and it made his heart ache. He sighed. “It’s really expensive… twice what my budget is.” Which sucked, because Stiles was sure this was the house he wanted to raise a family in with Derek.

“It’s worth it,” she pointed out, ever the pragmatist. She took his hand and squeezed it. “Stiles, do you like it?” That was all that really mattered, especially since he’d said all the others didn’t feel right.

He took a deep breath, squeezing her hand and nodded. “Yeah. It’s the one…” He sat there quietly, holding her and trying to figure out how the hell he was going to afford it. “I need to talk to Derek.”

She gave him a hug and kiss on the cheek, then stood up and brushed herself off. “Call him. I’ll go tell Annemarie that we finally found the right one.” Without giving him a chance to argue, she headed into the house.

Stiles gritted his teeth and shook his head, grumbling to himself about not wanting to tell Annemarie anything if they couldn't afford it as he fished his phone out of his pocket and called Derek.

“Yeah?”

“Uh, hey,” Stiles said as he started to pace the back yard, making a mental note not to fall in the pool as he walked around. “Were you busy?”

“Just reading. How’s the search going?”

Stiles let out a nervous breath. “I - uh. I found the right house. But it’s… it’s twice the budget that I told the realtor we were looking in. It’s listed at 100k.”

“Tell them we want it,” Derek said, a smile in his voice.

“What?” Stiles asked confused. “Derek… I can't afford that. I can barely do 50k paid over the next thirty years. I can't do 100k. The bakery doesn't make _that_ much money. How are we going to afford the rest?” Stiles doubted Derek had enough money to pay for the house just lying around waiting to be used.

“I told you I have some money set aside,” Derek reminded him. “It’ll be fine. I can get a job somewhere besides the bakery, if that would make you feel better.”

Spending money always made Stiles nervous, especially since he never had a lot of it growing up. Especially not enough to buy a house. “Are you sure that you don't want to come look at it before I tell the realtor that we want it?”

“I can if you want, but if you say it’s right for us, I believe you. You want to tell me about it?”

“Uh, well -” Stiles tried to think about what the flyer said and the parts of the house that he’d paid attention to. “It has three bedrooms, two baths, kitchen… great room? Something called Spanish tile and French doors. Other features…” he paused and looked around the yard. “But the best part is it sits on an acre of property on the edge of the preserve and it’s really quiet. The patio is nice, but the yard… I think the pups will love it.”

Derek smiled. “It sounds great. And if you want it, if you love it, I know I will, too.”

Stiles fidgeted, pacing around again before he took another deep breath and let it out, looking out at the yard backing up onto the preserve. “I think the pack will love it too when they come over to visit. I mean… you can just go from the back yard onto the preserve during the full moon.” He worried his bottom lip and looked at a leaf floating in the pool. “This is the one, Derek. Lydia… she’s inside doing her negotiating thing. Maybe it’ll be a little cheaper when she’s done?”

“Even if it’s not, just get it. Make sure you find out when we can move in, okay?”

“Yeah, okay.” Stiles was still trying to wrap his mind around the fact that he was going to sign papers for a _house_. “I love you. I’ll text you when we’re done here.” After they said their goodbyes, Stiles shoved his phone back into his pocket and walked around for a couple of more minutes before heading back inside. “Hey,” he smiled at Lydia and Annemarie.

Lydia beamed at him. “We settled on ninety thousand, including closing costs,” she informed Stiles. “Annemarie’s going to pay for the inspection as well, but you get to pick who you want to use, and I’d consider getting two different firms, just to be sure.”

It was ten thousand less, but Stiles thought he was still about to have a heart attack. “Okay… how long does it usually take to do these inspections? And do we sign papers after the inspections or before them or how does this work? And if the inspections go over well, when can we move in?”

Annemarie smiled. “As soon as you let me know who you want for the inspections, I can call to set it up. We’ll sign the preliminary paperwork when we get back to the office today, and as long as the owners agree, we can finalize after the inspections. Then you can move in whenever you like.”

Stiles took a deep breath. “Okay, lets do that, then. And then we’ll figure out the inspections.”

Lydia squealed and hugged him. “You’re getting a house! And it’s perfect!”

He smiled and hugged her back, squeezing her tight. “Now we just gotta get through the rest of the gazillion processes before we can move all my stuff in.”

“It’ll be done before you know it,” she promised, turning to smile at Annemarie. “Thank you so much for your patience. I know Stiles has been super-picky, but he and Derek are going to make sure you’re well rewarded for it, right, Stiles?”

“Yeah,” Stiles nodded with a smile, giving Lydia another squeeze. “Thank you, really. I thought we’d never find the right house.”

“I’m glad I was able to be of assistance. Did you want to walk around again before we go back to the office to start the paperwork?”

“Yeah, I can do that.” Stiles took out his phone as he walked around, taking pictures of everything and then video on his third pass through, making sure to get as much as he could to show Derek when he got home. Stiles made sure to get just as many of the back yard and the surrounding property until he was ready to leave. The drive back to the office was shorter than he remembered the drive to the house being, and signing the papers and setting up the inspectors took even less time. Lydia already had the best inspectors chosen for him, so Stiles went with those. Finally he walked into the apartment. “I’m home,” he called out, throwing himself onto the couch the second he reached it.

“Be right there!” Derek called back. He wrapped a towel around his waist and walked out of the bathroom to see Stiles draped over the couch like a giant boneless cat. “I take it you had a long day,” he said with a smile, walking over to kiss him hello.

“Long day,” Stiles agreed and smiled, reaching out to pull Derek down on top of him, despite him still being wet from the shower. “How was your day?” Stiles kissed the droplets from Derek’s neck and nuzzled against him.

“You’re gonna get wet,” Derek warned, but he didn’t try to pull away, just tilted his head to give Stiles better access. “I finished off two books, so it was pretty good. I’d ask how yours was, but I already know it was good.”

“Oh, I have pictures and video,” Stiles said, digging in his pocket and pulled out his phone. “So you can see the house. Lydia and I already set up all the inspectors and stuff so we just have to wait for that to happen and to see if the owners agree to sell to us and then Annemarie said we can move in after that.”

“I’ll start packing tomorrow,” Derek said, taking the phone and laying it aside so he could concentrate on kissing Stiles. When he broke away, he nosed along Stiles’ jaw, mouthing and biting lightly. “You smell good.”

“Must be Lydia’s perfume,” Stiles joked, reaching for his phone again. “I want you to look at the house.” He knew Derek agreed to whatever house he wanted, but Stiles wanted him to look at it and like it. After all, they were spending a fortune to buy it. “You probably won't even see it until we start moving, so I brought pictures,” he said again.

Derek sighed and sat up, taking the phone from him. “I’d rather see how fast I can get you naked,” he said, but he opened the photo file and started looking through them all the same. “It looks nice. I like the backyard.”

Stiles sighed and grabbed a throw pillow, putting it over his face and made frustrated sounds into it. He couldn't take it. He was trying to make a home for their future family and Derek just seemed to be indifferent about everything. Everything was nice to him. He liked everything. It was just as bad as ‘whatever you want.’

Derek frowned as he looked over at Stiles. “What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong? What’s wrong!” Stiles said and gave Derek the look he always gave him when he was frustrated with him. “Oh my god… it’s like you don't even care about picking out a house for our family. You just like them all and have no preference and just want to give me whatever money you have set aside so we can buy one and get it over with. Aren’t mates supposed to be involved with these kinds of things just like regular human couples?”

Derek stared at Stiles for a minute. “I would think that some mates are more involved than others, just like human couples,” he finally said.

Stiles snatched his phone from Derek, deleting all the photos he’s taken in one fell swoop. “I don't know why I even bothered taking any pictures to bring home to show you. Your response was just going to be the same as it always is.” He tossed his phone onto the coffee table and pushed at Derek’s chest so he could get off of him and Stiles got off the couch. “If you don't even care about where we live we could’ve just as well gotten a stupid apartment,” he pointed out, undressing on his way to the bathroom. He needed a shower.

“You said we needed a house for the pups!” Derek called after Stiles, scowling at the phone. He pushed up off the couch and headed after Stiles, trying to get to him before he made it into the bathroom and locked the door. “Stiles, can’t we just talk about this?”

“Why? You don't have anything to say other than ‘it’s nice’ and ‘whatever you want’. Have you suddenly developed a larger vocabulary when it comes to houses?” He kicked his shoes off before stripping out of his damp jeans and shirt. “What is there to talk about? You don't even have an opinion. You don't hate any of the houses, they’re all nice and I could’ve just pointed at a picture without even looking at it and you would’ve been okay with that too.”

“They _were_ all nice, and I would’ve been okay with any of them.” Derek moved to stand in front of the shower so Stiles couldn’t just ignore him. “Stiles, I’ve lived in barracks and campsites since I was twenty.”

“Then you should be more picky about this than I am because it’s going to be the place that we’re going to live for the _rest of our lives_ , Derek!” Stiles glared and gritted his teeth, hands balling into fists at his sides when Derek stood in the way of the shower. “And I’ve never bought a house either! So you can't use that excuse with me. How do you think it makes me feel that you don't care where we live for the rest of our lives and raise a family?!”

“I care about having a safe place for all of us. I care about making sure you and the pups are happy. And if that means you want a house or an apartment or a fucking den, then that’s where I’ll live!”

“Then maybe we should live in a fucking den if it’s all the same to you,” Stiles growled. “Because if you cared about finding a _home_ for our family when you would’ve been out there looking for one _with me_. I don't care if it’s a fucking house or a shack as long as it feels like home and preferably has two rooms so the babies don't have to sleep in our room.”

“Fine!” Derek snapped. “Go ahead and call the realtor and cancel the fucking sale, then. I’ll go find us a goddamned den - or maybe twenty, since I’m sure the first nineteen will feel _wrong_ to you!” Derek turned around and stalked off, slamming the door behind him hard enough that the windows rattled.

Stiles collapsed on the edge of the toilet, burying his face into his hands and let himself break down as the pressure of the last two months finally caved in on him. What was so wrong with wanting to find the perfect home for their family and wanting Derek to _care_ enough to be a part of that?

***

It was almost dark by the time Derek let himself back into the apartment. There were no lights on, no sign of Stiles anywhere, and he wondered if Stiles had gone over to Lydia’s or Allison’s. Or his dad’s house. Had he decided he wanted to be somewhere Derek wasn’t? “Stiles?” he called, walking slowly into the living room. “Are you here?”

There was no answer, so he put the box he was carrying on the couch and went down the hall, his stomach tightening when he called Stiles’ name again and still received only silence in reply. The bathroom was empty, although it reeked of misery, and the bedroom was even worse. Derek was about to go hunting for him when he saw the lump on the bed shift just a little. “Stiles?” he asked quietly, walking over to stand at the foot of the bed.

Only a sniffle answered him and Stiles pulled the blanket up over his head more so Derek couldn't see him hiding under the blankets, where he’d buried himself after his shower. He tried to pull the covers tighter around him with his other hand, tucking them under his body so Derek couldn't get in.

Derek went to sit on the side of the bed, next to the Stiles-burrito. “I’m sorry,” he said softly, looking down at his hands. “I brought a pizza home.”

Stiles didn't say anything for several moments before he sniffled again and mumbled, “I’m not hungry.” If he ate, he might just throw it right back up with how shitty he felt and the last thing he wanted to do was feel worse than he already did.

Derek sighed and scrubbed a hand over his face. “I never really thought about a house,” he said finally. “What we have... I just assumed it was for everyone else but me.”

“And you think this is normal for me?” Stiles asked from under the blankets. “I never thought I’d have a mate, much less an Alpha who I want to have a family with.” Until he’d met Derek and then mated with him and now Stiles was going to have a family. Or, had been. He wasn't even sure if Derek still wanted that.

“I guess I’m just grateful enough to have you that I know I’ll be happy in whatever house we end up in. I know it’s important to you, that it needs to feel right, so I wanted to let you find that place.” When the Stiles-roll still didn’t move, Derek got up. “I’ll be out in the living room,” he said then headed down the hallway.

Stiles didn't get the chance to tell Derek that he didn't care about carpet and tile and drapes and whatever the fuck else a house had that was on flyers he didn't understand. He didn't get to tell Derek that what he’d been looking for was a place that felt like _home_ and he wanted it to feel like home for Derek too. He rolled over and tucked the blankets around himself more and tried to ignore the growing pain in his chest and the panic attack he felt steadily building at the thought that he’d lost it all.

~

Derek stared at the pizza box next to him for a long time. He’d gotten Stiles’ favorite, a supreme pizza with extra veggies, even though Derek usually picked most of the veggies off. Stiles always rolled his eyes and muttered things about werewolf metabolism being the only thing that kept Derek from weighing three hundred pounds, but he ate Derek’s veggies all the same. He glared at the pizza, thinking about how they should be celebrating the new house instead of sitting in separate rooms. Derek didn’t sleep that night, but stayed up watching the hallway, waiting for Stiles to come out and tell him they could work it out. He never did, though. Somewhere around five am, Derek got up and took the pizza into the kitchen, then started making breakfast. Stiles would have to eat sooner or later, and bacon was usually a good way to tempt him into the kitchen. Once he was done, he piled fluffy eggs, bacon, toast, and sausage on the plate then headed down the hall to where the scent of misery was thicker than ever. “Stiles?” He knocked on the door. “I made breakfast.”

There was no movement in the room for several minutes until there was shuffling and the door cracked open. Stiles didn't look out, though and trudged back to the closet where he’d slept all night, planting himself back under the covers.

Derek had a brief glance of pale skin and red eyes before Stiles was gone. He followed him in slowly, expecting to see him in the bed, but there was no bundle or burrito there. Instead, it looked like he was - “Why are you in the closet?” Derek went to sit on the edge of the bed, putting the plate beside him.

There was silence for several moments before Stiles answered from the closet, “Because it’s darker in here and smaller and it feels safer.” And the sun was killing his eyes. His eyes hurt from crying himself to sleep last night.

“You don’t feel safe?” Derek winced at how that felt. “I can -” He gestured towards the door.

“I can't see whatever you’re doing,” Stiles reminded him, even though he could hear Derek moving so he was probably doing one of those hand things instead of words. “Are you going to come in here and bring me my food?”

“Yeah, just a minute.” Derek grabbed the plate and headed over to the closet, handing it in first before he followed and settled against one wall, opposite the heap of blankets with the plate beside it. Once he was settled in a rather cramped position, he pulled the door shut.

“You know that’s cheating, right?” Stiles said when he saw red eyes in the darkness of the closet looking at him. He felt around his plate and found a piece of bacon, raising it to his mouth and chewing quietly until he ate the whole strip. “Why did you shift when you can see just as well when you’re not?”

“I can shift back if it makes you uncomfortable.”

“It doesn't make me uncomfortable,” Stiles said with a shrug, pulling the covers around himself some more, eating some of the eggs with his fingers. He didn't even really want to eat, but his stomach was insisting that he needed food with its growling and hunger pains, so Stiles ate some more eggs and a few pieces of sausage in silence.

For a few minutes, Derek was quiet, listening to Stiles eat. Finally, he said, “There’s still pizza if you want more after that.”

“This should be enough,” Stiles said, finishing off his bacon and then pushing the nearly empty plate away. He’d eaten everything except the toast. “Do you want the toast?” Stiles asked, tucking the blankets under his chin as he settled down again.

“Yeah. Are you going to stay in here all day?” Derek asked quietly.

“Maybe,” Stiles said and lay there, eyes closed. They felt dry and maybe even a little swollen. He still felt exhausted and raw from the night before and Stiles wasn't sure if he could leave the closet without feeling overwhelmed and having another panic attack. “What are you doing today?”

“I don’t know. I guess I can go look for a job if you want me to.”

“If that’s what you want.” Stiles lay there in the silence, not really sure what to say. He wasn't sure if he should go searching for his phone in the living room to tell Lydia to cancel the purchase of the house or if they were even on the same page anymore. Stiles wasn't even sure what page he was on himself. “I think I’m just gonna stay in here for a while. My eyes hurt.”

“I could get you a washcloth for your eyes.” Derek licked his lips. “Or I can take your pain.”

“I don't think you can, Derek. It’s not really that kinda pain…” It wasn't like Stiles was wounded and bleeding to death where Derek could take his pain. Stiles lay there quietly, eventually reaching out carefully and feeling around until he found Derek’s hand and wrapped his fingers around his wrist to hold onto him.

“It might help your eyes,” Derek argued, turning his hand to get hold of Stiles in return. “Please, let me try.”

“Okay, but I don't think it’s going to help,” Stiles said honestly. Stiles’ physical pain was less than the stress and emotional pain he’d suffered yesterday. Stiles saw it more as a side-effect. He sighed and let Derek hold his forearm, still not wanting to move from under the blankets.

“I’m sorry,” Derek said softly.

Stiles gripped Derek’s forearm and tried to tug him closer, his words failing him. No matter what he said he apparently couldn't get it right and Derek couldn't understand what he’d wanted from him with the whole searching for a home thing. He just needed him closer. Stiles was barely holding it together as it was.

Derek slid over, drawing his legs up almost to his chin as he scooted over. For several minutes, they sat like that until Derek had finished the toast and licked his fingers clean. “Do you want me to stay?”

“I don't want you to leave,” Stiles said, tugging Derek closer in the small space. “I need you.” The last thing that Stiles wanted was to lose Derek and it had been the one thing he’d been afraid of all night. “Stay with me?”

Derek leaned his forehead against his knees as he let a breath out. “Yeah. Yeah, I can do that.”

Stiles pressed up against the wall some more, trying to make some room for Derek, caught between not wanting to release him and pulling the blankets back to let him in. He ended up switching hands and pulling the covers back. “Get in here.”

Derek slid down, molding himself to Stiles’ back, wrapping his arm around Stiles a little tighter, and nestling against him. “Thank you.”

It didn't take long for Stiles to relax in Derek’s arms, falling asleep soon after, hand tight around Derek’s wrist as he refused to let him go. He didn’t know it, but Derek followed him almost as soon as his breathing evened out, both of them finding respite from the long, difficult night in the tiny closet and each other’s arms.

***

> _Derek,_
> 
> _So, you’re gone. You’ve been gone for a couple of months now and I’m not really sure what to do with myself. I feel like I’m being selfish by wanting you here with me, by wanting you to come back and be my mate and my Alpha, for real. I know that you have a life with WEREs and you had that long before you met me, so how is that fair of me to ask you to come back to me? To ask you to give up the life that you committed yourself to only to join mine? I know you never really wanted a pack, but part of me feels like this is where you belong. With me. With the pack. I know you haven't been able to have a lot of interaction with them, but for that to happen you need to be here. They’ll love you and accept you because I love you and accept you. I know when you left we were still only pretending, but to me it was real. I only hope that it was real for you too. I’d like to believe that you love me, that you’d come back if I asked you to, but I don't know._
> 
> _I finally got to hear your voice last night. You mentioned that you were just getting back from a mission. I know I probably should’ve told you that I haven't been able to sleep without you here beside me, wrapped around me. That I haven't been able to stomach food because I’ve completely lost my appetite with your absence. I feel like it’s a growing sickness inside of me, that it’s happening because of our separation, both from me missing you so much and because you really are my mate even though you haven't claimed me officially. Hearing your voice eased an ache inside of me last night, but it also created one because I miss you even more than before. I need you here. With me. I really should apologize for falling asleep on you while we were on the phone together, but it was the first time that I’ve felt so relaxed since you’ve been gone. I felt like maybe, you were really here with me. Or at least I could pretend that you were. Pretty sure I was dreaming after I fell asleep, because I imagined that you asked me to be your mate for real and I said yes. That you would be coming back to me to stay. I woke up missing you even more._
> 
> _But who am I kidding? I’m never actually going to send this letter. It’ll never make it to you. I really should start a new one. You don't need to be reading sad things like this.  
>   
> _

_Stiles sighed and stared at the letter, a deep ache in his chest as he balled it up and tossed it onto the floor with the pile of other discarded letters. “Let’s try this again.” He put pen to paper, trying to think of something else to tell Derek, something that would make Derek smile, something that they could both hold onto until Stiles saw Derek again for Thanksgiving leave._   


 

> _Derek,_
> 
> _Oh my god. My ass is asleep. Make that my ass and both of my legs, all the way down to my toes. I’ve been sitting down for way too long and I think if I move my legs might fall off. Seriously. Like, if I move I really think they’ll flop right off from the lack of circulation moving through them. It feels like they’re being amputated by having the blood tied off until they turn purple (not that I know what that actually feels like, but I assume it feels just as horrible as this). I’ve been sitting here researching new recipes to try out for white chocolate concoctions that will hold up in the mail. I’m trying not to repeat any of the things that I’ve sent you before (obviously other than the cookies that are on constant delivery). Oh, I found a recipe for white chocolate peanut butter. I have no idea how that’s going to turn out, but I think I’m gonna try it. We all know that Isaac is a peanut butter junkie and he doesn't like white chocolate so this will be an interesting test. I may have to video it. Then I can take pictures from the video and send you the look on Isaac’s face when he realizes that it’s white chocolate peanut butter. I guess it wouldn't be funny if he actually likes it. Either way, it’s something that I’ve decided I need to do._
> 
> _Today’s shipment includes your cookie delivery and a new recipe: white chocolate, strawberry and cranberry rocky road bars. They’re delicious. The pack ate the whole first batch that I made you so I had to make another one and hide it from them. I hope you get to enjoy them before you have to go back out on a mission._
> 
> _I can't wait to see you at Thanksgiving Alpha soldier dude. Thanksgiving can't get here fast enough._
> 
> _P.S. I've included some more photos of Scott's pups. They're growing fast!_
> 
> _Stiles_

***

The bell above the door jangled as Lydia walked into the bakery. She paid no attention to the line of people, instead walking straight up to the counter, where Stiles was slicing up a piece of cake. “That looks delicious. I’ll take one of those and a hot chocolate, and then you can come on over to my table. You’ve got some signing to do!”

“Signing?” Stiles asked, getting a plate and putting a piece of cake on it for her. “What did they say about the inspections?” he asked as he pushed the cake across the counter to her and went to get her a hot chocolate. He’d never gotten around to discussing the house again with Derek and hadn't managed to fill Lydia in on what happened a few days ago.

“Excuse me!” a middle-aged woman said rather loudly. “I’ve been waiting in line for five minutes. I’d like to get my coffee before I have to go back to the office.” The look she gave Lydia made it clear just what she thought of the way she’d walked in.

Stiles was on the verge of reaching across the counter and ripping her hair out. “Your triple venti half sweet non-fat caramel macchiato is being made ma’am. It’ll be right up.” He glanced over at Isaac to see where he was on the drink since this lady always ordered difficult drinks.

Isaac held up two fingers to let Stiles know it would be two minutes, and when Stiles relayed that information to the lady, she let out a rather disgruntled, “Hmmph!” but didn’t argue anymore.

Stiles gave the lady a free cookie and helped with a few _normal_ drinks before he went over to the table where Lydia was waiting for him and put her hot chocolate next to her cake. “So what was the info from the inspections? Everything good?”

“Everything’s perfect,” she assured him, pulling a sheaf of papers from her briefcase. “The house is basically brand new - apparently the owners had planned to retire here, but their daughter moved to Iowa along with their grandson, so they’re moving as well.” She handed him the papers. “Yellow stickers are where you sign, orange are where you initial, purple’s for Derek’s signature, and blue is for his initials.”

Right. Of course he’d need Derek’s signature. Because they were buying this house together. “When do you need this back by?” he asked, looking through the papers to see how many signatures they needed.

“As soon as possible.” She pulled out her phone and unlocked it. “I’ve already had the down payment moved from Derek’s account, and I can transfer the balance once the paperwork’s signed. Then you guys can move in whenever you’re ready.” She swiped her finger across the screen a few times then looked up at Stiles. “I managed to get a lower price, by the way, since you’re paying it all up front.”

Stiles looked at her and frowned. “What?”

“I tried to take it down to seventy, but they’d only go down to seventy-seven five. Still, that’s better than ninety, right?” She gave him a bright smile. “You should tell Derek I’m expecting something pretty and expensive for my efforts.”

“No, that’s not - What do you mean we’re paying it all up front and how do you have Derek’s bank account? I don't even have Derek’s bank account information or that kind of money.” It was like he’d walked into a fucking twilight zone where nothing made sense. As far as he knew they were going to get a loan and make payments on whatever they couldn't pay towards the house up front, but apparently they weren't doing that either.

“I handle the finances for the whole pack,” she reminded him slowly. “And Derek’s the pack Alpha...”

Stiles sighed and ran his hands over his face. “So then where’s the money coming from because as far as I know there’s no way we can pay seventy-seven thousand dollars up front for a house.”

She snorted. “Please. It would take a couple hundred houses at that price before he’d even really notice.” She gave him a smile that quickly faded when she caught sight of the look on his face. “You _did_ know that Derek’s rich, didn’t you?”

“Obviously not,” Stiles said with a shake of his head. He was starting to wonder if he even really knew anything about Derek. “It’s not something he’s cared to share with me.” Stiles ran his hands through his hair, pulling at it as if it could help ground him.

Lydia actually looked embarrassed. “I’m sorry. I just assumed you knew.” Reaching across the table, she laid a hand on his and squeezed lightly. “Well, at least it’s good news, right? Not every day you find out your mate’s a millionaire.”

“Just one of the many secrets, huh?” Stiles said and withdrew his hand from hers. “I can't do this right now… take the papers to Derek. Let him deal with it.” He pushed the papers back over to her and got up, going back around the counter so he could focus on something else, even if it was just his lame ass coffee shop.

Luckily for Stiles, the shop stayed busy most of the day. Isaac helped him close up, but left him to finish up the muffins for tomorrow morning. When he came out, Derek was sitting at one of the tables, the paperwork in front of him. “Lydia said the house is ours as soon as it’s all signed,” he said, holding up a pen.

“What else did she say?” Stiles asked, pretty sure that Lydia told Derek all about what happened when she stopped by this afternoon. Stiles focused on putting the few cookies that were left in the front case into a box so he could take them by Allison’s before going back to the apartment.

“She said I’m an idiot.”

Stiles gave an annoyed sound, not surprised by Lydia’s words, although he’d assumed she’d said much worse than that. “I don't think it’s a good idea to sign the papers until things are resolved between us. Settling on purchasing a house is not exactly something we should do when we’re fighting and keeping secrets.”

“I was going to tell you about it when you got home that night,” Derek said. “But then we got into a fight and -” He swallowed. “I really wasn’t trying to hide it.”

“You should have told me before we even started looking at houses,” Stiles said, unable to close the stupid cookie box because he was upset. “You know how much I worried about how we were going to buy a house and then figure out how to have pups without going bankrupt? I’m not exactly set up here to be going off and buying a house. I planned to live in an apartment forever before I met you and decided on the whole pups thing.”

Derek looked down at the paperwork. “I said I had some money put aside,” he mumbled.

Stiles didn't give a shit about the money, just like he didn't care about carpet and tiles. “What other secrets are you keeping from me?” he asked, finally getting the cookie box closed. “I’ve been nothing but honest with you and I think I deserve the same.”

“There’s nothing else,” Derek said miserably. “I wasn’t keeping it from you - not deliberately, I mean. I just... I don’t really think about it. When you said you found the house you loved, it was the first time I’ve been glad I had it, because I could afford to make sure you had the home you want.”

Stiles sighed and ran a hand over his face, leaning against the counter, trying to control his feelings. “I guess I just feel like you don't really care about where we have our home because it’s just a house to you,” Stiles said, trying to explain himself. After a few moments he went around the counter to sit at the table across from Derek. “I don't care about Spanish tiles or French doors and I don't care that you’re a millionaire,” he said honestly. “I just - I don't know - I don't want to fight anymore, but I don't know how else to explain to you why it’s important to me that you’re part of choosing a home more than just being able to buy it for us. It’s not just for me.”

Derek nodded. “I just felt like I wasn’t able to help. I mean, I know it needed to feel like home to you, but I don’t know what that’s really like.” He drew in an unsteady breath. “Ever since the fire... you’re the only thing that’s felt like home to me.”

Stiles reached out to take one of Derek’s hands and gave it a squeeze. “How you feel about me being home is what I was trying to find in a house for us. Somewhere safe and perfect to raise our family, somewhere I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I guess any technical shelter would work, but it wouldn't be the same without it feeling like it’s our home. For me, at least.”

“And this house...” Derek tapped the papers with his free hand while he twined his fingers with Stiles’. “This is home?”

“Yeah, I think it is,” Stiles nodded. “Have you even stopped by to look at it yet?” Stiles had been by a couple of times, but he’d mostly stayed outside since he didn't have the keys to the house and couldn't get in without calling Annemarie.

Derek shook his head. “I thought you’d want to show it to me.”

“If we go we can only walk around outside unless I call Annemarie to come open it up for us. But the outside is the best part.” At least, that had been what made Stiles’ mind up. There was just a peace and quiet and privacy that they’d never be able to have in the suburbs.

Derek glanced at the papers. “Lydia said the house is ours as soon as we get everything signed,” he mentioned. “We could always call Annemarie and give her the papers, then go over ourselves...”

“Yeah, that’s true,” Stiles said and looked down at the papers. Part of him wanted Derek to look at the house in hopes that he’d fall in love with it before they signed the papers. It would make Stiles feel like he made the right choice, but he took the packet and picked up the pen, signing the places that Lydia had told him were his spots.

While Stiles signed the papers, Derek called Annemarie and told her they wanted the keys that night, then took the pen once Stiles was done and signed his own name where he was supposed to. He laid the pen down and looked at Stiles. “We’re homeowners now.”

“Without the frightening mortgage loan,” Stiles said with a small smile. “I guess that’s a good thing, since pups are going to cost an arm and leg for the next eighteen or so years. Oh and then they might want to go to college.” Stiles gave an exaggerated sigh. “How long do you think it’s going to take us until we want to return them?” he joked.

“Probably a week or two, at least.” Derek said with a chuckle and squeezed Stiles’ hand. “While we wait for Annemarie, is there anything I can tell you about... you know?”

“Is there anything you want to tell me about it?” Stiles asked and squeezed Derek’s hand back, offering what comfort he could. “I mean… its just money, right? I’ve lasted this long not being a millionaire; I think I’ll be okay after. But at least there will be plenty of money for the pups.”

Derek nodded. “It’s, uh, it’s a lot of money,” he said. “We - Laura and I - we split up our inheritance and the insurance money, and -” He took a deep breath. “We’ve got a little over 25 million dollars.”

Stiles just stared at him in shock for several minutes. “I - uh, wow. Okay. Yeah, that’s a lot of money,” he agreed. “Whatever kids we have will be set for life.” Suddenly having and supporting their future kids wasn't that scary anymore.

“It turns out that when you lose your house and most of your family in a fire, the insurance companies pay out pretty well,” Derek said bitterly. “I think my mom would be glad I’m using it for our home and our pups.”

“I’m sorry…” Stiles said quietly, hating that using the money was reminding Derek of how he’d lost his family. Or even just talking about it. “If you ever use it for anything… I think using it on our pups is the right thing to use it for… but with the bakery we’ll get by and we don't have to use any of it. I know how hard it is for you, thinking about the fire.”

“Thanks, and I think we should save most of it for them. But I want to get you whatever we need for the house and Lydia says I owe you a really nice present. And I can get you a safe car for the pups, too.”

Stiles groaned and rested his head on his arm. “No minivans,” he said and looked back up at Derek. “I’m not driving a soccer mom vehicle. If we’re getting a new car that’s safe for pups and fits car seats it is not going to be a van of any type.”

“We’ll get a sedan,” Derek assured him, reaching over to run a hand through Stiles’ hair. “Maybe an electric car.”

“I think they make a hybrid SUV now,” Stiles said as he thought about it. “I don't know about a fully electric car since I think you’d have to have those specially made, not to mention trying to use it if there’s a storm or anything. Imagine running out of battery and being unable to charge it until the sun came out,” he chuckled, leaning into Derek’s touch as Derek’s fingers carded through his hair.

Derek laughed at that. “That’s probably a good idea. A hybrid it is, then.” A tap at the door made Derek look over to see Annemarie standing there. Derek waved at her, gave Stiles one last pat then picked up the papers. “Do you want to hand them over or shall I?”

“Go ahead,” Stiles smiled at him, resting his head on his arm again. Stiles was excited and nervous all at once, wondering how Derek was going to like the house when they went to see it. If Derek told him ‘it’s nice’ one more time, Stiles was sure he was going to rip Derek’s throat out, _with his teeth_.

Derek leaned down to kiss the top of Stiles’ head and took the papers over to the door. He handed them over to Annemarie and took the keys from her. “Ready to go see our house?”

Stiles beamed. “Definitely ready to go see our house.” Stiles walked over to Derek, wrapping his arms around him and gave him a thorough kiss. “I can't wait for you to see it. I already have the room for the nursery picked out.”

Derek leaned in for a longer, deeper kiss before forcing himself to pull back. “Okay. House. Need to go see our house,” he muttered.

“Yes. House,” Stiles said, stealing one more kiss before he pulled the shop keys out of his pocket and let them both out. He locked up and leaned into Derek as they headed over to the Jeep. “I was thinking… maybe once we move in and everything is settled we could… start trying? For pups.”

Derek kissed Stiles’ temple and smiled. “I’d like that. We can start whenever you’re ready.”

Stiles smiled and after another kiss, went around and got into the Jeep. He couldn't wait to show Derek the house. The drive didn't take them too long and soon enough he was pulling up in front of the house and parking in the large driveway. It was pretty dark out, but the house was lit nicely and Stiles hopped out of the Jeep, going around to meet Derek on the passenger side. “Ready?”

Derek nodded and handed Stiles the keys. “Go ahead.” Once Stiles unlocked the door and pushed it open, Derek hoisted him up, draping him over his shoulder. “It’s tradition,” he reminded Stiles as he carried him into the house. “We can’t argue with tradition.”

Stiles laughed and wriggled on Derek’s shoulder. “I think you just like carrying me around like a caveman,” he said, smacking Derek’s ass like he always did when Derek threw him over his shoulder. “Or maybe you just like getting spanked.”

Derek gave the door a gentle kick to close it, then set Stiles down and kissed him, long and deep. “Maybe I just like how you look when I put you down, all flushed and wide-eyed,” he teased with a smile before he gave Stiles a smack on the ass in return. “C’mon, show me our house.”

Stiles breathed Derek in and tried to tell himself this was not the time for pups. Not yet. “Yeah, okay. So…” Stiles walked him through the house, showing Derek the different rooms. Stiles couldn't help but thinking that his furniture would be so out of place in their new house, but hopefully it would make it homier. “And this is the room I want to use for the nursery,” he said as he opened the door and walked in.

“It’s perfect.”

“Yeah?” Stiles asked, a look of happiness on his face at Derek’s words. “You can see the back yard from here too… well, some of it, anyway.” He reached a hand out for Derek, pulling him in close when he was in reach. “You really like it?”

“I love it.” Derek kissed Stiles. “We’re home,” he whispered against Stiles’ lips.

The words sent a flutter of warmth through Stiles, as if whatever part he’d been missing from Derek the last couple of months finally slotted into place. “Now we just have to move in,” he smiled. “You wanna see the rest and then go outside?”

Derek nodded, arms still wrapped around Stiles. “Yeah, I do. What about our room?”

“It’s right down the hall,” Stiles said and took his hand. “Come on.” He tugged Derek along, showing him the guest bathroom and the other bedroom before walking into the master bedroom. “And this is our bedroom.” It was a lot bigger than the room Stiles had now and the closet was significantly bigger, but he figured they’d find a way to fill it. “And our bathroom is in there.”

Derek walked around, looking at their room with a smile. He returned to Stiles and kissed him, a deep thank-you, welcome-home kind of kiss. “It’s perfect,” he whispered against Stiles’ lips. “Just like you.”

“You speak many languages Derek Hale. Flattery is one of them,” Stiles teased and smiled, kissing him again. “Come on… you haven't even seen the best part yet.” One more kiss and Stiles took Derek’s hand, leading him back through the house and out onto the patio. “We’ll have to put a tarp over the pool so the pups don’t fall in, but look at all this space… and it’s quiet.”

“We should probably put a fence around it, too.” Derek looked around, sniffing at the air. “I know I said it before, but it really is perfect.”

“Told you it was perfect,” Stiles said, tucking himself against Derek’s side and kissing his neck. “And you can shift and play with them whenever you want without gawking eyes. It’ll be our own little piece of Heaven.” Stiles pecked him quickly and then started hopping around and taking his shoes off.

Derek watched with a confused look. “What are you doing?”

“Well… we have a pool. I figured we’d try it out before I get as big as a whale and can't get in by myself.” Stiles managed to get both his shoes off and his socks before he started stripping the rest of his clothes off and dropping them onto the patio.

For a minute, Derek just stared at Stiles and then he hurried to join him, yanking his shirt off, toeing his shoes off and tearing at his jeans, hurrying to catch up. He looked up to see the water churning from where Stiles had apparently cannonballed into the pool. Derek chuckled and shoved his underwear down then pulled his socks off and walked across the deck, diving in once he reached the edge. He surfaced a few feet away from Stiles then dove back under water, streaking over towards Stiles’ legs to clamp a hand around his ankle.

“Oh no you -” Stiles was tugged under the water and he gave Derek his best glare, shaking his leg and trying to swim away, but Derek was too strong and Stiles was not a majestic water creature. He wiggled around, trying to break free and when he realized there was no escape he grabbed Derek and pulled himself closer so Derek would have to take him up with him to breathe at some point.

Derek pushed to the surface with Stiles clinging to him, water dripping off of both of them. He wiped his eyes then leaned in to kiss Stiles, soft and sweet. “I think I could get used to moonlight swims.”

Stiles laughed and smiled, wrapping his arms around Derek’s neck and holding himself close. “Yeah? I could get used to being naked all the time. No one out here to see us naked but ourselves.”

“It would definitely mean easier shifting.” Derek stroked his hands down Stiles’ back to cup his ass, lifting him up until he felt Stiles’ legs wrap around his waist. “How long do you think it will take us to move in?”

“I dunno. Guess it depends how fast we pack and move everything over. Maybe a week if we stick to it,” he said, kissing Derek’s shoulder and up his neck. He nibbled at Derek’s ear and pressed a kiss to the lobe. “Why? You wanna start on those pups now?” he asked softly, squeezing his legs a little tighter around Derek.

Derek kissed Stiles and squeezed his ass. “I want them as soon as you’re ready.”

“I know I said I wanted to try when we got everything moved in,” Stiles started with a kiss. “But I’m ready. We don't know how long it’s going to take for me to get pregnant anyway. It could take months,” he reminded himself more than Derek.

“Yeah, I know. Do you know how long it took Mc- Scott and Allison?”

“Mmmm, well,” Stiles smiled and bit Derek’s shoulder teasingly. “They never officially were trying to have pups. It just kinda happened when he was on leave, but they were both ecstatic about it once Allison found out.”

Derek chuckled. “Well, at least we know we’ll never have to worry about that. We should get out of the pool if we’re going to start trying tonight, though.”

“Or we can enjoy our new pool for a while and float around,” Stiles said with another kiss. “Have a pool make out session before you have to run out to the Jeep to get the lube from the glove compartment.” Stiles chuckled at that, smoothing his fingers through Derek’s hair. “I shoulda just brought it with us.”

“We’ll have to stash some out here when we move in. We can keep some in every room.” Derek licked his lips, then asked, “Can I - I want to fuck you in every room. Before we move in. Is that all right?”

“In every room?” Stiles grinned and kissed him. “Even the nursery?” He nibbled on Derek’s bottom lip, pulling it into his mouth and kissing him again, then laughed. “When they asked where they were conceived I’ll just tell them all over the house. They’ll die from their imagination of us doing it everywhere.”

Derek looked at Stiles in horror. “They wouldn’t ask that!” Then he frowned. “Would they?”

“Kids are curious,” Stiles chuckled. “They might want to know some day, especially since they’ll have two biological daddies and one’s a werewolf and one’s an emissary,” he pointed out with another kiss. “I think I was conceived in a boat. My dad used to go fishing a lot before I was born.”

“You don’t think they’ll be upset at being different, do you?”

“They’ll never know anything else,” Stiles said, scratching Derek’s scalp lightly. “They’ll just know they’ve always been special, both to us and the pack. And I’m sure they’ll have other classmates that are weres when they start school if they go to public school.”

Derek nodded and kissed Stiles again then picked him up and body slammed him into the water before he swam off.

Stiles came up sputtering, coughing up the water he’d inhaled from the surprise body slam. He sent a splash towards Derek even as Derek was swimming away. “We’re not having pups if you drown me before I get pregnant!” he said and coughed again, his nose burning from the water. “I think I’m gonna ban you from the pool mister.”

“You wouldn’t do that - you like swimming naked with me too much,” Derek teased, moving into the deep end to tread water. He smirked at Stiles then dove back under, streaking across the pool.

Stiles was still trying to get the water out that had gone down as he tried to swim quickly into the shallow end so he’d be able to stand up and not be dragged under for a third time. Before he reached six feet of water a hand wrapped around his ankle again and Stiles shrieked before he was pulled under again. His body reacted before he could think much more than needing his head to be above water and a jolt of power shot through him. Stiles felt his ankle freed and hurried to the surface, taking a deep breath and coughing as he breached it.

“No more drowning!” Stiles shouted and looked around. “Derek?” he frowned and looked into the water beneath him and Derek was there… sinking. Stiles was about to shout at him when he realized he’d zapped him. “Oh my - fuck!” He dove down into the water and grabbed Derek’s wrist when he reached him. Stiles managed to pull him to the surface and wrapped an arm around him, holding him against his chest. “Derek? Derek wake up.” Stiles struggled to the shallow end, but when he was able to stand he gripped Derek with both hands and dragged him over to the stairs. “Derek wake up,” he said and shook him. Stiles wasn't sure if he could drag Derek’s bulk out of the water without banging him around too much. “Derek!”

Derek coughed once, weakly, struggling to open his eyes before he started coughing harder. When Derek managed to get his breath back, he looked up at Stiles. “Guess I don’t have to worry about protecting you and the pups...” he said with a feeble smile.

“I’m sorry, I didn't mean to,” Stiles said honestly, helping Derek sit up on the stairs and wrapped himself around him. “And we’ll still need your protection,” he assured him, running his hands over Derek to make sure he didn't zap him so hard he’d burned him anywhere. Score one for Stiles ruining the night and the sex they’d had planned. “Are you hurting?”

“I’ll heal,” Derek assured him, burying his nose in Stiles’ neck. Derek kissed Stiles’ neck, then raised his head and looked at him. “What happened?”

“I freaked out when you pulled me under and reacted without thinking about it… and I zapped you.” Stiles ran his hands through Derek’s hair and sighed. “I’m sorry. I really didn't mean to.”

“Why’d you freak out?” Derek asked, nuzzling in as close as he could. “You knew it was me.”

“I know.” Stiles wrapped his arms around Derek, nuzzling him back. “I just - I have this thing about drowning. As in, being afraid of drowning. I guess it triggered when you pulled me under again.” Stiles tried not to think about exactly why he had a fear of drowning, one being because he’d actually _died_ from drowning before.

“I’m sorry. I won’t pull you under again. I promise.”

“Well then you won't get zapped again,” Stiles smiled and held Derek closer. He contented himself with holding Derek, kissing the droplets off of his skin until he started getting pruney. “Think you can walk now? We’re gonna become giant prunes if we stay in any longer.”

“Yeah, I think I can.” Derek gave Stiles one last kiss, then urged him up off his lap and pushed himself to his feet. “Does this mean we have to dry off, get dressed, and go back to the apartment?”

Stiles wrapped an arm around Derek’s waist and held him close to his side so he could help him along once they were out of the pool. “I guess not, but there’s not really a bed here,” he pointed out. “But I have some blankets in the Jeep. I usually keep some in there in case of an emergency.”

“Do you mind roughing it for a night or two?” Derek asked. “I can probably have the bed moved by Thursday.”

“Since we can't strap the bed to my Jeep we’d have to rent a truck to move the bed and if we’re doing that we might as well try and have everything packed by then so we can just move it all,” Stiles said, letting go of Derek reluctantly to pick up their clothes from the deck. “I can ask Isaac to come over and help and with Lydia’s organizational skills nothing will get lost.”

“I want the bed to be something we do together,” Derek said slowly. “The pack can help with everything else, but the bed’s... special.”

“Is it a wolfy thing?” Stiles asked with a smile, smashing their clothes into a ball and grabbing their shoes before heading into the house. “Why’s the bed so special? It’s not like we don't have sex on everything in the apartment so everything smells like us.”

“We sleep there,” Derek finally said. “It’s like... kind of like our den, I guess.”

“Okay, well I guess we can try and find a way to strap the mattress to the top of the Jeep and just bring that,” Stiles said, placing their clothes on the kitchen counter. “And just have the frame moved later along with the other stuff.” He put their shoes down and leaned against the counter, smiling at Derek. “How are you feeling?”

“A little singed, but I’ll be okay,” Derek said with a wry smile. He leaned in to nuzzle at Stiles’ neck. “Do you want to call for food?”

“Mmmm, it’s probably too late for delivery.” After all, the bakery was closed. Stiles was pretty sure most other places were closed. “And I don't think IHOP delivers,” he chuckled, wrapping his arms around Derek. “You wanna go out and get those blankets and lube? Or are your legs still too wobbly?”

Derek chuckled and bit the side of Stiles’ neck. “I think I can manage a trip out to the Jeep. Where do you want to sleep tonight?”

“We could sleep in the nursery,” Stiles smiled. “Or would that be too creepy to have sex in the nursery and sleep in there too?” Stiles didn't have a problem with it, but he wasn't sure if Derek would or not.

“I don’t think it’s creepy. After all, we’re the only ones here now.” Derek kissed him, then smiled. “Why don’t you go make sure that’s the room you want while I get the blankets and lube?”

“Okay,” Stiles replied, returning the kiss. “And at least with the blankets we won't get carpet burn.” One more kiss and Stiles turned, heading off into the house and towards the nursery.

It didn’t take long for Derek to walk out to the Jeep and get the blankets and lube. “You want to set the blankets up any special way?” Derek asked as he came into the nursery, handing them over while he kept hold of the lube.

Stiles took the blankets and looked around the room. “I dunno, maybe,” he said and went to lay one out by the window that he’d opened. He opened up the other two blankets and shook them out, settling into the blankets and smiling up at Derek. “What? It’s not like I’m putting them down strangely.” Even though Stiles had been nesting and cleaning the apartment like crazy the last month.

“Yet,” Derek teased, stretching out onto the blankets next to Stiles. He leaned over to kiss him slowly. “Think you’re going to want pickles and ice cream at three am when you’re pregnant?”

Stiles chuckled as he thought about it. “I don't know about pickles and ice cream, but pickles and peanut butter was my mom’s thing. She’d eat crunchy peanut butter caked onto sour dill pickles.” Stiles made a face as he thought about what that would taste like. “And other strange things.”

“Did you want to try tonight, or wait until we get our bed here?”

“Well we have blankets, so no carpet burn.” Stiles leaned in and kissed Derek slowly, scooting closer to him. “Let’s make some pups. Maybe a whole litter of them,” Stiles chuckled and draped his thigh over Derek’s hip to get closer to him. “Although I don't think I’ll be able to walk around if I carried a whole litter. You’d have to roll me around the house cause I’d be so round.”

Derek chuckled and kissed him, hand stroking over Stiles’ thigh, tugging him in as close as he could. “I’m sure you’ll end up round enough with just the pups we make,” he said, nipping Stiles’ lower lip gently. “We’ll find you a good place to make a den and then I can just bring you food and DVDs while the pack takes care of the bakery.”

“You’re going to make me a den?” Stiles asked with a grin. “Are you going to be able to fit into this den with me and my large belly?” Stiles chuckled at the thought of Derek squeezing in and both of them being uncomfortable. “Although the food service sounds wonderful. Pickles and peanut butter to order,” he teased, rocking against him.

“I’ll shift and get in there to help keep you warm,” Derek promised, squeezing Stiles’ ass. He rolled Stiles onto his back, reaching out with his free hand to blindly grope for the lube. “Need to knot you, make sure you get knocked up as soon as possible.”

Stiles groaned against Derek’s lips as he kissed him, rocking up against him as his dick fully hardened. “Yeah, need your knot. All your come filling me up with puppies, fuck, that’s hot.” Stiles shifted underneath Derek, cradling him between his legs. “Hurry up and finger me so you can get inside.”

“Should finger you til you can’t hold back,” Derek said, kissing Stiles before he knelt up and squeezed some lube out onto his fingers. Derek watched as Stiles drew his knees up to open for him. “How many do you want to start with?”

“Two, but shouldn't take long to give me three once you’ve got me lubed up enough. Then you can slide inside and knot me.” Stiles relaxed back onto the blankets, holding his leg up with one hand, the other moving to rest on his abdomen, doing his best to ignore his dick as he focused on their goal of pups. Lots of pups. Stiles wanted a whole house full of pups and hopefully he’d get to have at least one within the next year.

Derek licked his lips and kissed Stiles, then reached down to rub his fingers over Stiles’ hole. Derek looked down to see his fingers press in as easily as if Derek had already spent fifteen minutes fingering Stiles open. “You’re wet,” he said blankly.

“From the pool?” Stiles asked, since he hadn't exactly bothered drying all the way down. Stiles gave a pleased sound at the feeling of Derek’s fingers inside of him, sending up a silent prayer to bless the conception of their pups as he wiggled down on Derek’s fingers. “What’s wrong?” he asked, opening his eyes and looking up at him.

“I don’t think that’s from the pool.” Derek pulled his fingers almost all the way out then twisted them as he pushed back in. Derek fucked his fingers in and out again, then pressed firmly right against Stiles’ prostate.

Stiles bucked against Derek’s fingers pressing perfectly against his prostate, groaning and grinding down against them for more. “God that feels good.” Stiles could swear he was getting more sensitive by the second and he could feel the wetness slick against Derek’s hand as he fucked onto his fingers. “Gimme another finger.”

As soon as the words were out of Stiles’ mouth, Derek obeyed, pressing a third in alongside the others. “Fuck, that’s so hot,” Derek muttered, leaning down to kiss him. “How wet do you think you’re gonna get?”

“Hmm?” Stiles’ brain was so foggy from the pleasure and kissing Derek that his brain still hadn't caught up to the wetness conversation. “I’m - really? Like, by myself?” He leaned up enough to reach down and touch himself and sure enough he was wet around Derek’s fingers and it was slicker than the lube they usually used. “Holy crap… I wonder if I’m gonna be like this all the time now.” He kissed Derek again. “You won't even have to slick up anymore up to get inside of me.”

Derek groaned. “Fuck, I hope so.” He twisted his fingers, turning them as he shoved into Stiles. “Need to fuck you now. Please?”

Stiles nodded quickly, eyes squeezed shut at the jolt of pleasure as Derek rubbed over his prostate one last time. “God, fuck - get inside me. Now. Need you to fuck me. Need your knot.” Stiles reached out to pull Derek in for a deep, needy kiss.

Derek pulled his fingers out and slicked himself up with the traces of lube and Stiles’ own slickness that clung to his fingers. He kissed Stiles deeply, then positioned himself and pushed in, slow and steady, not stopping until he was pressed up flush against Stiles’ ass. “Ohhhhh fuck, that’s -”

Stiles whined high in the back of his throat, writhing under Derek and clawing at him as if he could pull him in deeper and tighter against him. “Oh my God. Fuck - Derek, nnnnghhh.” Stiles buried his face against Derek’s neck, hooking his feet behind Derek’s thighs and clung to him. “Feels so fucking amazing.”

“Yeah,” Derek moaned, already grinding against Stiles. “Not gonna last long,” he gritted out. “So fucking hot, need to knot you, fill you up.”

“God, yeah - please. Derek, fuck - please. Need your knot.” Stiles kissed him hungrily, rocking and grinding with Derek, trying to coax his knot to swell and fill him to lock Derek’s come inside of him. “Need your pups.” He turned his face into Derek’s neck, scenting him and kissing across his skin, licking and sucking a dark mark there before closing his teeth over it and clamping down to mark him.

Derek ground hard against Stiles, his whole body tightening as he started to come, pumping hot spurts up into Stiles’ eager body. Derek shuddered and nudged Stiles back, kissing him and groaned into his mouth.

Stiles returned the kiss with fervor, moaning into it as Derek’s knot swelled tight inside of him. Stiles gripped Derek’s shoulders, pushing him onto his back and following him until he was grinding and rocking against his knot. “God, fuck, gonna come,” he breathed against Derek’s lips. “So fucking good.”

“Yeah,” Derek grunted, grinding up against Stiles again. “Fuck. C’mon, wanna feel you come on my knot, see you lose it. God, wanna knock you up. Fuck. Wanna lick you out after, taste you when you get wet for me again.”

Stiles groaned at the thought of Derek licking him out, slick with arousal and Derek’s come. He ground and swiveled his hips, squeezing tight around Derek’s knot as the pressure against his prostate had him coming. “Oh, fuck - fuck, Derek!” Stiles kissed him hard, painting Derek’s chest and abs with his come as he rode out his orgasm.

“Fuck... came harder than I have since -” Derek shook his head. “I don’t know when.”

“Mmmm, good. Means that I’m the only one that’s ever made you come that hard,” Stiles grinned, kissing Derek’s neck as he lay on top of him, ignoring the feeling of his come squishing between them. “God, feel so full.” Stiles kissed over Derek’s chest, licking up a bit of stay come and rocked on Derek’s knot again.

“You are,” Derek told him, moving his hands to Stiles’ hips. Derek reached down to scoop up a bit of come from his stomach, sucking his finger clean before he gathered more to offer to Stiles. “You’re gonna look gorgeous carrying our pups.”

Stiles sucked Derek’s finger clean, then kissed him. “Not gonna be able to lay like this anymore when my stomach gets big. Gonna have to find a better way to lay so you can knot me. There’s no way I’m going without sex for nine months,” he chuckled. “Even if I can only lay here and take it.”

“We can always knot on your hands and knees and then spoon,” Derek suggested, one hand moving between them to cup Stiles’ abdomen, thumb rubbing a circle over his skin. “Does it make me sick if the thought of you being pregnant turns me on?”

“No, absolutely not.” Stiles gave him another kiss, sitting up and placing his hand over Derek’s on his abdomen, squeezing his ass tight around Derek’s knot as he felt another small orgasm pulse into him. “I’d be worried if it didn't.” Stiles looked down at their hands and smiled. “You think we’ll get lucky and they’re gonna be in there soon?”

Derek blinked up at Stiles for a minute then he pressed lightly against Stiles’ stomach. “They might be in there now. We should probably knot as much as we can for a week or two, though. To make sure.”

“More like knot as much as we can until we know we’re pregnant,” Stiles said and rubbed his hand over Derek’s. “So if we don't know in a few weeks are you sure you’re gonna be able to do this for months?” Stiles leaned down to kiss Derek, nipping at his bottom lip. “Months of non-stop knotting unless we absolutely have to stop.”

Derek groaned and chased Stiles’ lips. “It’ll be difficult, but somehow I think I’ll manage,” he teased with a smile. Stiles ground back against him and another small orgasm rippled through Derek. “Fuck... you’re like some kind of perfect werewolf porn actor, do you know that?”

Stiles grinned and rolled his hips again, moaning as Derek’s knot pressed perfectly against his prostate. “Hopefully better than any of the ones you’ve seen,” Stiles teased. He knew it was a thing for some humans (and werewolves) to watch interspecies porn. Stiles had always thought everyone was the same, so he’d never seen it as taboo. “Just can't get enough of your knot. Fuck, that’s good.”

“God, the mouth on you,” Derek muttered, bucking up. His hands roved over Stiles’ thighs, moving teasingly up the inside, spreading his fingers wide as he moved up towards Stiles’ dick. “Sit up. Want to watch you ride my knot.”

Stiles gave Derek one more kiss, sitting up again and leaning back, moving his hands to grip Derek’s. He groaned, rocking and grinding, shoving himself onto Derek’s knot and squeezing his ass tight around him to feel Derek pressing in all the right places inside of him. “Gonna come again soon,” he panted, concentrating on the feeling of Derek’s come filling him more. “Feel so full.”

Derek wrapped his fingers around Stiles’ dick, squeezing gently. “Yeah? Getting full of my come? Gonna knock you up so good, put pups in you like you need.” He stroked a thumb over the tip. “You want that? Want me to get you pregnant, huh?”

“God, yeah - fuck, gonna be so fucking big with your pups.” Stiles groaned and rode Derek’s knot until he was on the verge of his second climax, Derek’s teasing fingers sending him over the edge as he tensed and came over his mates fist. “Ohhhhhfuckkkkk!”

Derek stroked Stiles through it, drawing it out before he eased his hand away and raised his fingers to his own lips.

“You’re gonna kill me,” Stiles laughed and smiled, resting against Derek’s chest again and watching Derek clean his fingers. “You’re so sexy when you do that, you know? Makes me wanna get hard all over again.” He turned up to kiss Derek, tasting himself on Derek’s lips. “Mmmmm. Not gonna be able to stop now that we’ve started trying.”

Derek smirked at Stiles as he let a finger slip free with a wet pop. “Good. Because I’m not sure I could stop if you told me to.”

Stiles smiled and kissed Derek’s shoulder, nuzzling against his neck. “Think we’ll be tied longer than usual?”

“Mmmm, maybe,” Derek murmured, tilting his head. He stroked his clean hand up and down Stiles’ back. “Would that bother you?”

“No,” Stiles said, placing a kiss to the fading mark on Derek’s neck. “Wanna keep all your come in me as long as possible. Not sure if it’ll help getting me pregnant, but I’d like to think it will.” He nuzzled against Derek’s neck more, closing his eyes and breathing him in. “Should start getting stuff for the nursery once we’re moved in. What do you think about painting the walls yellow? That’s a gender neutral color. Or green.”

“Green,” Derek said without hesitation. “Or blue. Girls can like blue, too.” Derek was quiet for a moment, then he said softly, “I hated my eyes when I saw they were blue.”

Stiles kissed Derek’s neck, nosing at him, trying to offer comfort. “I bet they were gorgeous.” Stiles had only ever seen Derek with red wolf eyes and he liked Derek’s red eyes too, but he was sure that Derek’s blue eyes were more gorgeous than his red ones. “Are you glad they’re not blue anymore?”

“Yeah. I’m not glad I had to kill my uncle, but he was going to kill my sister. It was... a shock, becoming an Alpha like that. I don’t know what I would’ve done without Laura there to help me through the first few months.”

“Well I’m glad she was there,” Stiles said softly, fingers tracing lightly over Derek’s skin. He was quiet for several moments, thinking about Laura. “Are you sure you don't want to contact your sister? I know you mentioned things were a little rough the last time you saw her… but it’s different now. You have a mate and a pack and hopefully we’ll have some pups soon enough.”

“Yeah, I think I do. Maybe she could come out for a visit when the pups are due?”

“You sure you don't want our first meeting to be before the pups come?” Stiles chuckled. “I doubt I’ll be the most pleasant person to be around with all the pain.” And Stiles knew he’d probably be super possessive over their pups.

“I was thinking she could help us with the pups, but we could ask her out once we’re moved in, if you’d rather.” Derek rubbed Stiles’ back as he spoke. “She has two of her own - two girls. I think they’re five, or maybe six.”

“Well, we’ll have an extra room for her to stay in when she visits. You think she’ll bring the girls? I know the pack will probably be over here often when the pups come.” Stiles wouldn't be surprised if Isaac, Lydia and Allison came over every day. “How long do you think she’ll wanna stay?”

“We could ask her to if you want to. And I don’t know. How long do people usually stay when they visit?”

“I don't know… I think for most people a week is a good amount of time for a vacation. But you haven't seen her in years so she might want to stay longer?” Stiles kissed Derek’s chest again. “If you want, I can give her a call after we find out about the pups.”

“I think I’d better call. We should probably move in first, so she can come right away if she wants to.”

“Okay, that sounds like a good plan.” Stiles didn't even want to think about moving. He just wanted to think about making pups with Derek. He smiled and nuzzled in closer. “Think I’m gonna fall asleep,” he mumbled. “Should knot again when we wake up.”

“Sounds good t’me,” was Derek’s slurred response, still holding on to Stiles, his knot keeping them tied even as they drifted off into dreams.

***

It had been just over a week since they bought the house and moved in and Stiles was standing in the bathroom with an array of pregnancy tests scattered across the vanity. “What. The fuck.” He glared at all of them and sighed, running his hands over his face and through his hair. It shouldn't be this hard. He was about ready to pull all of his hair out of his head.

“Food’s here,” Derek called out as he pushed the front door open and kicked it closed behind him. “Stiles? Where are you?”

“In the bathroom,” Stiles called out, putting his hands on his hips and staring at the pregnancy tests. The goddamned, lying liars.

Derek put the bags down on the kitchen counter and all but ran down the hall to the master bathroom. Stiles was staring down at what looked like a whole pharmacy’s worth of pregnancy tests. “Well? Are we -”

“I don't know,” Stiles said frustrated and sighed again. “These say yes, these say no and these say - I don't know what the fuck these say. The little picture line whatever the hell it’s supposed to be isn’t what it’s supposed to be.” He growled and put it down again. “I don't know.”

Derek frowned as he looked at them. Some had one line, some had two, some had pluses, some had minuses, some were - “Does blue mean it’s a boy?”

Stiles just gave Derek a frustrated look. “No it doesn't mean that it’s a boy. I think it either means yes or inconclusive,” Stiles said as he grabbed one of the many boxes that were scattered across the bathroom. “If we’re pregnant we won't be able to tell the sex of the baby for months.”

“Oh.” Derek scowled down at the stick. “Isn’t there some kind of surefire way to tell? Maybe a doctor or something?”

Stiles gave a long, drawn-out sigh. “Yeah. I called the doctor, but the earliest appointment they had was next week. And given there aren’t that many supernatural OBGYNs, I can't exactly just call around for the earliest appointment.”

“Did you tell her that you’re the pack Alpha's mate?”

Stiles rubbed the back of his neck. “No, I didn't. I didn't think it would help. You think that would make a difference? I mean… you’re the only Alpha in the area.” Stiles chewed on his lips and sighed. “Maybe I should call back?”

Derek walked over to Stiles, wrapping his arms around him from behind. “It probably wouldn’t hurt. The worst that can happen is they say no and you have to wait a week. Are any of those tests designed for werewolves?”

“No,” Stiles said, leaning back against him. “But I’m not a werewolf. I’m still human. Human tests should work, right?” Stiles didn't even know. He was tempted to try and find out magically if he was pregnant, but he didn't want to risk being punished for personal gain if he was. He didn't want to be the cause of them losing their pups.

“I think so. But I can go get a few werewolf tests if you want to see if that makes a difference. Want me to go to the store while you call the doctor?”

“Yeah, I guess,” Stiles said, placing his hands over Derek’s. “We should keep knotting though, until we know for sure. You think you’re recovered enough?” he chuckled and craned his neck to kiss Derek.

Derek nuzzled into Stiles’ neck once he broke off the kiss, grinning. “I think I’ll manage somehow.” He reached between them to press against Stiles’ hole through his jeans. “God, you’re still damp. Or is that just for me, thinking about going again?”

Stiles groaned and rested his head back against Derek’s shoulder. “Both. Pretty sure I’m still leaking come, but god I want pups. You know I love your knot.” And just thinking about it had Stiles’ dick starting to harden and his ass slicking.

Derek groaned and bit the side of Stiles’ neck, then forced himself to take a step back. “I gotta go,” he said, his voice shaky. “Have to get those pregnancy tests...”

Stiles turned around and leaned against the counter, running a hand over his face. He really, really needed those tests, but he needed to be fucked, too. “You can always get them after,” Stiles suggested, eyes licking over Derek.

“The store’ll be closed by the time we’re done,” Derek pointed out. He moved in for a quick kiss that lasted longer than some couples’ lingering ones. “I’ll be back soon. Call the doctor, then get ready for me?”

“I will,” Stiles promised, pulling Derek back in for a longer kiss. “Hurry up and get back home.” Stiles already knew he wouldn't need much prep, if any and even though he wanted those tests his patience was nearly non-existent when it came to waiting for Derek when he needed him. “Love you. Be careful. Don't drive too fast,” he teased and fished his phone out of his pocket so he could call the doctor.

***

“I know they got us in early, but did they have to make it seven-thirty?” Derek grumbled, scowling at Stiles, who was sitting on top of an exam table, fidgeting in the little gown they’d given him. “Couldn’t you have picked a decent hour? You know, one that’s actually civilized?”

“It’s all they had,” Stiles said with a glare, just as tired as Derek. He was _not_ a morning person. Stiles hadn't even bothered to fix his hair this morning. “And you told me to take the earliest appointment. So we’re here.”

“They’d better be able to tell us you’re pregnant,” Derek said grumpily. “Should you ask them about the, uh, the leaking while we’re here?”

“What do I need to ask her about it?” Stiles asked, moving to lie on the table and shove the pillow under his head, closing his eyes. “You seem to like it and it makes everything a lot easier when we’re fucking and knotting.”

“Yeah, that’s true. I just want to be sure you’re all right.”

“Okay, we can ask her,” Stiles said and yawned, rubbing his cheek on the pillow and started to doze as they waited for the doctor to come in and see them. “No more early appointments. I won't be surprised if she examines me and finds come in my ass,” he chuckled, thinking about how often they’d been having sex.

Derek frowned. “Maybe we should make sure we don’t have sex before your doctor’s appointments, then.”

“I’d quite appreciate that, but I understand the mating urge, so I’ll understand if that’s not possible,” the doctor said as she walked into the room and smiled at them. “Hi, I’m Dr Lefholz. I hear you think you might be pregnant.”

“We’re hoping so,” Stiles said, forcing himself to sit up again and stretch. “I, uh - I took a lot of home tests but they were all over the place with the results. We were hoping that I could get a blood test done to be sure.”

She nodded and jotted something down on the chart. “Do you know what the most likely date of conception was?”

“Maybe a week and a half ago?” At least, Stiles was hoping. “We’ve been trying… I mean, we will be until we know for sure.”

“That isn’t much time,” she commented. “Is there any particular reason you think you conceived then? Were you tracking ovulation or using some kind of fertility aid?”

“Uh, no. We weren't. But I’m an emissary,” Stiles said, as if that would mean anything to her. “It’s complicated.”

“Well, why don’t we start with a brief physical and then we can draw some blood and run that pregnancy test?” She looked over at Derek. “Do you mind going out to the waiting room while we do the physical, Mr... Stilinski?”

“Hale,” Derek corrected her, looking over at Stiles to be sure he was okay with Derek leaving.

“Derek can stay, I mean, if he wants to.” They hadn't really talked about if Derek wanted to stay in the room or not for the rest of the exam, but Stiles had just assumed he would.

“I - yeah, if it’s okay with you.”

The doctor nodded and set the chart aside then went to wash her hands. “Is this your first time seeing an OB/GYN?” she asked Stiles as she dried her hands off and went to sit on a stool that she moved to the end of the exam table.

“Yeah. I didn't really have a reason to before now.” Stiles turned towards the side she was wheeling over to and scooted up to the edge to dangle his legs over. “I wasn't having pups before now.” He smiled at the thought.

She pulled two slender metal legs out of the end and set them up. “Just put your feet here in the stirrups,” she told him. “I can have a nurse come in as well if you’re more comfortable with that.”

“No, I’m okay. Derek’s here.” Stiles lay back and awkwardly put his legs up on the stirrups. “Is this going to hurt?”

“Oh no, it shouldn’t hurt. There might be some slight discomfort, but it’ll be over soon.” She pulled on a pair of latex gloves and reached for the speculum, then began to apply lubricant to the metal. “I’d suggest closing your eyes and thinking of England, but maybe your husband could hold your hand instead.”

Derek nodded, immediately walking over to the top of the table to hold Stiles’ hand. “Just let me know if you need me to take any pain,” Derek said in a low voice.

“Yeah, okay,” Stiles nodded and took Derek’s hand, then a deep breath. Stiles had no idea how this was supposed to work with him, but apparently they were doing it anyway. “So when am I supposed to start thinking about England?” He gave Derek’s hand a squeeze.

“Right about now,” she said with a smile, easing the speculum into his ass. She was careful as she opened it up then picked up a small flashlight. “I’m just going to take a brief look, make sure everything looks okay.”

Stiles squeezed Derek’s hand tighter and tried to think of anything except the feeling of cool metal stretching him open. “New respect for Allison and Lydia doing these exams,” he said as he breathed deeply and tried to think about decorating the nursery instead.

The doctor eased the speculum out and laid it aside, then pressed two gloved fingers into Stiles. She began to press on his stomach in various places. “Does any of this hurt?”

“No, it doesn't hurt. That’s good, right?” Cause pain was bad. It usually meant bad things and Stiles was glad there was no pain even if there had been discomfort. “What are you checking for?”

“I’m checking your prostate for swelling and your abdomen for any unusual growths or tenderness,” she explained as she began to move about, tapping briefly in several places. “So far, everything looks good.”

“Do those things usually happen during pregnancy? Do I have to keep an eye out for those things?” Stiles glanced down at her, his thumb rubbing over Derek’s hand as he felt his mate tense at his side. “I’m okay,” he assured Derek, looking up at him.

“Well, it looks like you’re very healthy. I don’t see any reason that you can’t carry a healthy child to term,” she declared, walking over to the trashcan to throw the gloves away. She picked up the chart and made a few more notes on it. “We’ll just have to be careful to monitor your condition, and I’ll probably do a few extra ultrasounds, since you’re my first male pregnancy, but everything should be okay.”

Stiles nodded and removed his feet from the stirrups, sitting up and pulling Derek closer. “Oh, uh - I’ve started… lubricating naturally once we started trying to conceive but I hadn't before. I guess you wouldn't have any information about that?” He promised Derek he’d ask, even if Stiles didn't think it was something to be worried about.

Dr Lefholz smiled and shook her head. “It’s normal for an Omega to lubricate during heat and when he’s fertile, so I’m guessing that we’re dealing with a similar situation with you. Does it have an unusual texture or odor?” When Stiles shook his head, she nodded. “That’s fine, then.”

Stiles breathed easier. “Okay, good.” He gave Derek’s hand a squeeze and smiled at him, leaning against him. “So how long does it take to get the blood test results back?”

“It really depends on how busy the lab is, but you should know by the end of the week.” She handed Stiles a piece of paper. “Give this to the nurse and she’ll take you down for your blood test. And you might want to consider increasing your calcium intake - either two glasses of orange juice or an over the counter supplement per day should do it. But studies have shown that it can help with conception.”

“Yeah, okay. Thanks.” Stiles looked down at the paper, trying not to feel disappointed that they wouldn't get the results _today_ , even if he knew that wasn't logical for a turnaround. “Is someone going to call me with the results at the end of the week?”

“We’ll call as soon as we get the results back,” she promised, giving his hand a reassuring pat. “In the meantime, try not to stress out about it too much, limit your alcohol and caffeine intake... basically, act like you’re pregnant until we find out you’re not, okay?”

Stiles nodded. “Okay. That should be easy.” He waited for her to leave before he got off the table and went to get some wipes from a basket in the room. “Well that’s disappointing,” he mumbled and sighed, cleaning himself up. “I thought we’d have the results sooner than the end of the week.”

Derek waited until Stiles had cleaned up and redressed before he went to wrap his arms around him. “It might be sooner,” he reminded him. “We could get lucky and the lab could get the results back right away.”

“I don't think they can push my test to the top of the list,” Stiles said and kissed him. Even if Stiles wanted instant results. “I think we should keep trying though. Just in case we aren’t.” Another kiss. “Ready to go get my blood drawn?”

“Yeah.” Derek ushered Stiles out into the hallway, where a nurse was waiting for them at the appointment desk. She took Stiles’ paperwork and led them out of the office, down the hall to a lab, where a young man took the papers and looked at her.

“You’re joking, right?” he asked her, then looked at Stiles and Derek. “Am I on Punk’d or something?”

“Uh, no. I’m here for a test.” Stiles stared at the guy, trying not to get annoyed with him and the look they were getting.

“They ordered a pregnancy test. For you.” When Stiles still didn’t react, the technician added, “You’re a guy. I mean, you look like a guy, but -”

“Look. Your job is to take the blood and do the test. If you have a problem with it then you can talk to the doctor.” The guy was obviously human and judging them and Stiles really didn't want to put up with it. “Or is that too difficult for you to do?”

The technician shot Derek an uneasy look. “Dude, talk about red eyes...” An honest-to-God growl made the guy jump and nod. “Yeah, okay. Just... sit down here, okay? And, uh, maybe you could get your... whatever to wait over there?”

“I’m staying right here,” Derek said evenly, glaring at the human.

Stiles sat down, obviously frustrated and sighed, watching the tech tie his arm and search for a vein nervously. With Derek growling at the guy, it took the him more than once to get a good stick before he was drawing a vial of blood and Stiles had to look away so he wouldn't freak out, thinking about the needle in his arm. He relaxed when a cotton ball was pressed to his arm and a bandaid was placed over it. “Are you calling with the results or is someone else going to call me?”

“I can have the results for you if you don’t mind waiting about twenty minutes,” the technician stammered, glancing nervously at Derek again. “I’d do it right away, but there’s a couple of critical labs that I have to take care of first...”

“We’ll wait,” Derek said firmly, helping Stiles up and leading him over to the chairs. “Are you okay? Do you want me to get you some orange juice or a cookie?”

“Do they have orange juice and cookies here?” Stiles asked, sitting down in one of the chairs. He wasn't about to pass up cookies and the doctor said he needed more orange juice in his diet. Stiles couldn't keep his leg from bouncing as he thought about the tech doing the test. “Guess we don't have to wait until the end of the week after all…”

Derek placed his hand on Stiles’ bouncing leg, thumb stroking over the seam of his jeans. “Want me to go look for some?”

Stiles looked down at Derek’s hand and then placed his over it. “Stay with me?” he asked softly. “We can get some after.” Stiles wasn't sure if he could stay and wait for the results. He didn't know what he would do if he got them and Derek wasn't there with him.

“Yeah, okay.” Derek took a seat next to Stiles and kissed his cheek. “It’s gonna be fine,” he assured him. “Those tests wouldn’t have said you were pregnant unless it was true.”

“Yeah, but they also said I wasn't and that they didn't know,” Stiles reminded Derek, leaning against him. Stiles sighed and held Derek’s hand, turning in to scent him. “If we’re not… I wonder how long it’s gonna take for us to get pregnant.”

“We’ll just keep trying til you are.” Derek cupped Stiles’ head with his free hand, holding him close. “The doctor mentioned some kind of fertility aid... do you know anything about that? Maybe we could try that if you don’t get pregnant just knotting.”

“I think it’s just the normal shots they give to women. I don't know if there’s anything specifically for someone like me. I guess we can always ask later if I’m not.” And if that didn't help, Stiles knew he’d be digging through his books to see what else could help them, if anything.

Derek nodded and kissed Stiles lightly. “The doctor said everything should be fine,” he reminded Stiles. “I’m sure we’ll have a baby in no time. We’re both young and healthy, and you’re lubricating. That’s got to mean something, right? She said that was what Omegas did when they were fertile.”

“Yeah. I guess. Hopefully I won't stop lubricating then. If I do then we might not be able to get pregnant.” Stiles hadn't even thought of that and now that he was, his stomach was doing flips and he was getting nauseous. He’d never felt so much pressure to be fertile.

They sat together for what seemed like hours before the tech walked up to the desk. “Mr Stil - uh, Steel -”

“Stilinski,” Derek said as he looked up then glanced at Stiles. “What did the test say?”

“Looks like it was negative.” The technician shrugged. “So... you’re not pregnant.”

Stiles had never felt so much disappointment in his life at hearing those words. Like he’d failed at the most important thing. He was sure Derek could choke on the scents wafting off of him and he sighed. “Thanks,” he said quietly, forcing himself to stand. The longer he sat there the less pregnant he was going to be.

Derek let out a slow breath. He reached out to draw Stiles into a hug. “It’s okay,” he said softly. “We’ll keep trying.”

Stiles was trying to keep it together, he really was, but when Derek pulled him into his arms and held him close, he felt like he broke into a million pieces. He buried his face against Derek’s neck, sniffling and trying to keep the tears of failure at bay. “I don't know why it didn't work,” he mumbled. “It should've worked.” There was no reason that they shouldn't be pregnant.

Derek rocked a little, rubbing Stiles’ back and holding him close. “I know,” he murmured. “It will work. It just hasn’t yet. We’ll get our pups. I promise we will.”

Stiles held Derek tight, trying not to think about how that promise could be broken. It wouldn't be Derek’s fault if they didn't get their pups. It would be his. He took comfort in Derek’s arms for several minutes before he had to force himself to pull back. “We should go. Take me home?”

“Yeah, okay.” Derek kept his arm around Stiles’ shoulders as he led him out to the Jeep. “We’ll keep trying. As soon as you want.”

Stiles just nodded and sat there quietly, staring out the window as Derek drove them home. He wasn't sure what he could do that they weren't already, but he promised himself that he’d find something. There had to be something out there that could help them conceive. “Yeah, okay,” he finally said.

Derek drove them home, going through the drive through at Burger King to get Whoppers. Instead of diving right in like Stiles usually did, he just sat there and stared out the window. Once they pulled up into the driveway, Derek put the Jeep in park and turned it off. “Want to go eat outside by the pool?”

“I’m not really hungry,” Stiles finally said, looking down at the bag of food in his lap. If he ate, he wasn't even sure if he could keep it down. “I think I’m just gonna go inside. Are you coming in or going to stay out here and eat?” he asked, finally looking over to Derek, brows raised and scrunched together in question.

“I’ll go in with you.” Derek got out and followed Stiles inside, setting the bag of food down on the desk just inside the door. “Do you want me to get you some orange juice? Or I could make you cookies or run you a bath...”

“I guess I can take some orange juice.” Stiles walked over to a chest near the bookshelf and opened it up, pulling several volumes out and started towards the kitchen. “Maybe some vitamin supplements?”

Derek grabbed the food and followed after Stiles, setting the bag down on the counter near the fridge. Taking a glass out of the cabinet, Derek poured orange juice out into it and handed it over to Stiles. “Here you go.”

Stiles had the books spread out on the counter, reaching blindly for the orange juice and taking it once he had a handle on it. He drank it quietly, flipping through one book and then another, placing the glass on the counter once he was done. “Should probably get some calcium supplements when we go to the store later this week.” Stiles was trying his best to ignore the disappointment bubbling inside of him, instead trying to focus on what he could do. He could research. He could do things. He opened the cupboards, pulling out several jars of herbs and set them out near the books. Stiles would figure out a way for them to have pups if it was the last thing he did.


	11. Chapter 11

Derek wasn’t surprised to wake up alone. He’d gone to bed alone as well, and he wondered if he’d spent the entire night alone or if Stiles had come to bed at some point. Hopefully he’d at least gotten some sleep. Pushing the covers back, Derek got out of bed and headed down the hall. He knew exactly where to look for Stiles - the same place he’d been for the last three days, right at the kitchen table.

Stiles was fast asleep, one arm thrown across an open book, his cheek mashed against several papers that would probably leave him with some kind of permanent ink stamp on his skin. Derek smiled and poured a glass of orange juice, then went to lay a hand on Stiles’ shoulder. “Hey,” he said, keeping his voice low so he didn’t startle him too much. “I’ve got something for you.”

Stiles grumbled and then frowned as Derek rubbed his back. “What time is it?” he asked with a yawn and sat up slowly, rubbing at his face, only to find a piece of paper stuck to it. Stiles pulled it off and then took the orange juice, gulping it down.

“A little after seven.” Derek rubbed Stiles’ back again then moved up to knead his neck. “How late were you up?”

“All night,” Stiles said as he finished his juice. With all the juice that he’d been drinking he was surprised he hadn't turned into a walking orange yet. He rubbed at his face again and grabbed for a jar on the table that had a paste in it. He opened it and smelled it to make sure it was ready before he handed it to Derek. “Eat a spoonful of this.”

Derek recoiled at the stench. “What is that? And why do I need to eat it?”

“Don't make that face,” Stiles said with a warning look. “It tastes horrible but it’s supposed to help us with the whole fertility thing.” Stiles made his own face and grabbed a spoon from the table and forced himself to eat some, trying not to vomit the second he put it into his mouth. “It’s just herbs mixed into a paste,” he managed, once he got it down.

“I think I’ll leave the fertility herbs to you,” Derek said, taking a careful step back.

Stiles glared at him. “You better eat this. Right now.” Stiles shoved the spoonful towards Derek, waiting expectantly. “We need something more than orange juice to help us have these pups. Eat the damn paste.”

Derek took the spoon, but didn’t immediately try to swallow it. “It smells like death,” he muttered. “How do you know this will help? What if this makes it worse?”

Stiles was about ready to burst from disappointment and frustration. “You know what, fine. Don't eat it.” He stood up and slammed the book shut that he’d been researching in for recipes that would help them have babies and he was tired and angry that they didn't already have positive results. “Just do whatever you want.” Stiles turned and stomped off towards their room.

For a minute, Derek just stared at the spoon. He brought it up to his lips. Swallowing hard, he opened his mouth, closed his eyes, and promptly dumped the herbs into the sink. With a sigh, he rinsed off the spoon, washed the mixture down the drain, then put the spoon in the drainer and followed Stiles back to their bedroom. “I’m sorry.” 

“Why? Because you don't want pups bad enough that you won't eat a few stupid smelly herbs?” Stiles was stripping out of his clothes so he could get into the shower. He thought he smelled, but it could just be the herbs clinging to his skin since he’d been working with them all night.

“I want them, but I just - I don’t think that we need to panic and start going overboard with herbs just yet. It was just one test, and we’ve only been trying for two weeks.”

“And the 100 times I peed on a stick,” Stiles reminded him. “And you wanna know why I’ve been even more upset and we haven't had sex the last couple of days? Because I’ve stopped self-lubricating. And that’s like the worst sign ever.” Stiles was trying not to panic, he really was, but thinking about them losing their chance at having pups because he wasn't fertile anymore made him nauseous and he made a dart for the restroom, heaving into the toilet as he fell to his knees.

Derek hurried after Stiles, laying a hand on Stiles’ back as he vomited. When Stiles was done Derek went to get a washcloth, wet it and fill a glass with lukewarm water, then took both over to Stiles, handing them over silently. It wasn’t until Stiles sat back that Derek reached over to flush the toilet and kneel beside him. “I think you’ve stopped lubricating because you’re stressing yourself out about this,” he told him. “And you weren’t constantly lubricating - you were doing it when you got turned on, but we haven’t been having sex, so you haven’t been getting turned on.”

“So, what? You’re just okay with not doing anything other than knotting and have me drink orange juice?” Stiles didn't think that was going to do the trick. He might’ve once, but when they’d gotten negative results back he wanted to make sure he could do everything in his power to make sure they had pups. Derek wasn't being that cooperative with not taking his herbs.

“I’m okay with trying to let nature take its course. It takes human couples more than just a few times to have a baby, doesn’t it?” Derek rubbed a circle low on Stiles’ back. “I just don’t want to see you make yourself sick with all this worry and herbs.”

“I just - I don't want to be one of those couples that try for a family and it’s four years later and we still don't have one and might never. I may be human, but I’m still supernatural and so are you. All the rules don't exactly apply to us. If this doesn't happen naturally, I’ll find something.”

“That’s fine. But let’s just slow down for a few months and try on our own. If you aren’t pregnant in six months, I’ll take all the herbs you want and do anything those books say we should, okay?” 

“Okay,” Stiles agreed quietly after several moments. “Six months.”

“Six months,” Derek promised, kissing Stiles’ temple. Stiles started gagging again, leaning forward to bring up more goop and orange juice. “You want me to run you a bath?” Derek asked once Stiles was finished with the latest bout of sickness.

“As long as you don't get upset if I throw up in the bath,” Stiles said, holding his stomach and whining. For whatever reason (that he hoped wasn't the herbs he might’ve poisoned himself with) he was just nauseous. He groaned and leaned there against the toilet just in case he needed it again.

Derek nodded and started the bath. “Maybe toast? Or tea... I could make you some tea.”

“No tea… I had enough tea last night to last me a lifetime,” Stiles said and sighed, crawling over to the tub and using it to get up. “But I can try some toast. Are you gonna get in with me or are you afraid I’m gonna barf on you?”

“I’ll get in with you as soon as I get the toast,” Derek said, reaching over to adjust the temperature on the water. He kissed Stiles on the forehead and hurried off to the kitchen, returning after a few minutes with two pieces of wheat toast with a little butter on it. He laid the towel on the edge of the tub and climbed in, settling carefully behind Stiles. “Anything else I can do?”

“Make this magic toast that’ll help us get pregnant and make my stomach feel better?” Stiles asked with small smile, leaning back against Derek. He took a piece of toast and carefully nibbled at it, trying to let his stomach get used to the idea of food in hopes that he wouldn't get sick off the toast.

Derek chuckled. “I would, but you’re the magic man. And you’re the one who always says that magic for our own benefit tends to come back and bite us in the butt.” Derek rested a hand lightly on Stiles’ stomach, thumb stroking over his skin. “I don’t think I can take nausea away, but I can try.”

“That’s probably why I’m sick,” Stiles muttered, nibbling at his toast some more. “And I don't think the pain-sucking-thing works that way, but you can give it a go if you want.” Stiles rested his head back against Derek’s shoulder. “When do you think we should start trying again?” he asked quietly.

“Whenever you can spend a few hours not wanting to hang over the toilet.”

“Maybe tomorrow then,” Stiles said as he ate more toast. He wasn't feeling great, but he was hoping that he wouldn't barf anymore today and if Derek jiggled him around during sex he thought he might just lose his toast. “What are your plans for today anyway?” he asked, offering Derek a piece.

“Staying right here with you.” Derek opened his mouth for the toast and ate it, then kissed Stiles’ cheek again. “How about you? Any big plans?”

“Nope. None. I’m gonna stay here until I start to turn into a giant prune and then maybe crawl into bed afterwards.” And if they were lucky he’d be feeling better by then. “Not leaving the house today if I can help it.”

“That sounds good to me. Maybe we can even try again tonight, if you’re up to it.”

“Yeah, okay. If my stomach feels better by then, totally.” After all, they had to start trying again in order to get pregnant and Stiles wanted them to have pups. “Ooh, I have to show you some cribs that I found online. I wanted to know which ones you liked so we can order them.”

Derek smiled and rubbed Stiles’ stomach. “I’ll look at them once we get out. Do you think maybe we should get one big one and let them share?”

“I dunno, maybe,” Stiles said as he thought about it, finishing his toast. “I mean, I think they’d want to sleep together, especially if they’re pups. But you don't think that’ll be a problem when they get older and don't want to sleep in their own beds? They can't sleep in a crib forever.”

“We’ll have to buy a new bed then, anyway. Buying two isn’t that much more effort. Right now, why don’t you try to get a little rest? We can look at the cribs when you’re feeling better.”

Stiles nodded, even though he wanted to show them to Derek _now_. “Okay… but you better pretend to at least be interested later when I show them to you.” Stiles usually talked about the nursery with Lydia since she always had an opinion, but he really wanted to choose the cribs with Derek. Stiles was already feeling sleepy with the warm water and Derek wrapped around him. He yawned and drifted off to sleep.

***

Derek groped around for Stiles, but found only an empty bed. He cracked his eyes open, then winced when unmistakable sounds of retching drifting out of the bathroom. “Great,” he muttered, pushing himself up onto one elbow. The last three days had started the same way - with Stiles hanging over a toilet, doing his best to turn himself inside out. Derek rolled out of bed and trudged into the bathroom, getting water and wetting a washcloth without even thinking about it. Once Stiles knelt up, Derek reached over to flush the toilet and handed first the cloth, then the glass to Stiles. “This isn’t normal,” he said flatly. “I think you need to call the doctor.” 

Stiles rinsed his mouth out, spit and then made a sound of protest as he placed the cloth over his face. “And tell her I poisoned myself? No way,” he grumbled and sighed. Stiles would just have to find something to make his stomach feel better. He could do that. Once he could get up and go to the kitchen without wanting to puke his guts out. “I think I’ll pass on the embarrassment.”

“I don’t think it’s the herbs. I mean, if it was, wouldn’t you be getting better now that you’re no longer taking them?” When Stiles didn’t say anything, Derek scowled. “You _have_ stopped taking them, right?” 

“I haven't been eating any more of that paste if that’s what you’re asking.” But Stiles had tried to make a tea and that had been just as disgusting. “Maybe it was the Chinese. I don't have a werewolf stomach of steel. Maybe I have a food bug.”

“Then you should definitely see the doctor.” Derek crossed his arms over his chest and scowled down at Stiles. “When does Dr Lefholz’s office open?”

“I don't know,” Stiles said, laying on the bathroom floor and pressing his face to the cool tile. “Just leave me here to die while you go call. Save yourself Derek,” he joked, reaching out to touch Derek’s foot. “Before it mutates and becomes a strain of sickness that can affect werewolves. I’m going to have to be put into quarantine before the whole pack becomes infected.”

“Stomach bugs don’t mutate like that,” was his mate’s less than amused comment. Derek helped Stiles up off the floor and settled him in bed with some toast before he called the doctor’s office. “Yes, I’m calling about a patient of yours... Stilinski.” He repeated it, slower, and spelled it. “I think we need to make an appointment to see the - I’m his mate.”

Stiles nibbled on his toast quietly, wanting to tell Derek that any sickness could mutate and become some kind of zombie infection that would destroy the world. “What are they saying?” he asked, stretching out on the bed and scooting closer to Derek as he nibbled more on his toast. He reached a hand out to put on Derek’s thigh and nuzzled into his hip, even if he was getting crumbs on Derek and the bed.

“Yes, I know, but -” Derek frowned as the nurse interrupted him. “No, I think you’ve got the wrong file. S-T-I-L-I-N-S-K-I. We had the test, but - You’re sure? Okay. Yeah, I’ll, uh, I’ll tell him. Huh? Oh, the appointment. I’ll have Stiles call you about it later. Thanks.” Hanging up the phone, Derek looked down at Stiles, still visibly stunned by what he’d heard. “You’re pregnant.”

Stiles almost choked on his toast, coughing a couple of times before swallowing. “What? But - the test. They took the test and said that I wasn't.” He looked up from where he was laying on the bed next to Derek, staring at his mate and the look on his face. “Are they sure? Like 100% positive? Why didn't it come up positive the first time?”

“The tech didn’t run the werewolf test,” Derek said almost absently. Derek’s eyes slid down to Stiles’ stomach. “Our baby’s in there...”

Stiles was still in shock, looking down at his stomach when Derek did. He couldn't believe he was pregnant. Had been pregnant. Probably since the first time they’d tried. Suddenly he jumped up excitedly on the bed and pounced Derek, giving him a kiss and then groaning as the movement made his stomach roll. “Moving bad. Guess we know why I’ve been sick now.”

Derek frowned. Then his eyes widened. “We should take you to the hospital! Stay right there. I’ll go get the car.”

“Why? I’m not going to be in labor for nine months. Jumping the gun there,” Stiles teased. “I’ll be okay,” he assured him. “I’ve just been having morning sickness. Maybe I can call the doctor and ask her to prescribe me some pills for it. I doubt over the counter is going to work well.”

“Morning sickness,” Derek repeated blankly. “So... this is normal? How long does it go on?”

“I dunno… could last a few weeks or the whole first trimester. It just depends on the person, I think. But it’s normal. Allison was sick for a couple of weeks before she started feeling better.”

“Why can’t they stop it?” Derek demanded.

“Because it’s part of nature?” Stiles suggested, raising his brow. “At least for humans.”

“Does that mean the baby’s going to be human, too?” 

“I don't think me being sick has anything to do with the species of the baby,” Stiles said and smiled at Derek, kissing him. “He or she could be human and a future emissary or they could be a werewolf, which means no emissary baby.”

One hand carefully settled on Stiles’ stomach, fingers slowly spreading open. “Our baby’s in there,” Derek said in a quiet, awed voice. “Do you think he can hear us?”

“Our baby doesn't have ears yet,” Stiles said with a smile and placed his hand over Derek’s. “So technically, no. But later he’ll be able to hear us even if he won't be able to really understand us.” Stiles leaned in to give Derek another kiss. “But you can still talk to our baby even if he’s, like, not even the size of a peanut yet.”

Derek looked down at his hand. “Hi baby,” he said, thumb stroking over Stiles’ skin. “Can you stop making your daddy sick now that we know you’re in there? He’s been pretty miserable.”

“I think he likes the attention.” Stiles chuckled and looked down at his stomach. “But hopefully I won't be sick as long as Allison was. Otherwise I’m gonna be carrying around a Pepto bottle.” Stiles made a face that showed exactly what he thought about that.

A faint frown appeared on Derek’s face. “Do you think you’re sick because you’re human and I’m a werewolf? We don’t have to do it again if it’s going to make you this sick.”

“No, it’s not because of that,” Stiles assured him. “It’s just a thing that humans go through. It has nothing to do with you being a werewolf.” Stiles gave him another kiss. “And we’re gonna have more kids. I want more. We’re just getting started…”

Derek smiled and kissed Stiles again. “I love you,” he told Stiles, then bent down to drop a kiss on his stomach. “Both of you.”


	12. Epilogue

Derek barely had time to unlock the door and push it open before he was attacked.

“Daddy, Jeff took my Barbie and he won’t give it back and it’s my favorite - make him give it back!”

“Daaaaadddd, she wouldn’t quit bugging me! So I hadda take her stupid Barbie, to make her get outta my stuff!”

Derek smiled down at the two identical faces, one tear-streaked, the other defiant, and bent to kiss first one cheek, then another, before he hoisted the toddler who came stumble-running to meet him up onto his hip and kissed her as well. “Your brother and sister sure like to complain, don’t they?” he said, bouncing her a little. “What do you think, should your Dad and I send them to their rooms until they learn to behave and then the three of us can watch Frozen together?”

“YES!” she shrieked, throwing her arms around him. Derek chuckled and kissed her again, then headed into the living room in search of his mate, two sputtering children following behind him. Derek found Stiles, as usual, napping on the couch. Setting Eva down on the floor, he bent to kiss Stiles, settling one hand on the swell of his belly.

“Hey,” Derek said softly when beautiful brown eyes opened. “I’d ask how your day was, but I think I already have a pretty good idea.”

Stiles smiled sleepily up at him. “Hey.” He stretched and placed his hand over Derek’s, rubbing his belly. “It was a whirlwind,” he chuckled and tried to sit up, but his balance was off and he couldn't quite get up by himself. “Are you gonna help me or watch me struggle? I don't think the kids can haul me off the couch.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Derek teased as he hauled Stiles up into a sitting position then kissed him again. “Eva’s getting pretty strong, aren’tcha, sweetheart?”

“Uh huh!” she chirped, then immediately burst into tears when Jess shoved their brother and he stumbled into her. “Daaaadddddyyyyyy!”

“Oh my god… they’ve been like this all day,” Stiles said and opened his arms for Eva. “Come here baby girl.” He kissed her when she climbed up onto the couch with him. “I think it’s the full moon.”

“That might be it.” Derek looked over at their older children. “You know, I could always say that the next person that causes trouble has to stay here and help Dad fold laundry while the rest of us go for our full moon run.”

That did it. Instantly, both twins seemed to recall somewhere they had to be. Derek tickled Eva’s tummy, then sighed. “Are you _sure_ you want another one?”

“Uh, Derek… it’s kinda too late,” Stiles laughed. “We’re not having just another _one_ but another _two_ kids.” He smiled at him when Derek looked up from Eva. “I got the call earlier today. We’re having twins. Again.”

Derek’s jaw dropped. “We are?” When Stiles nodded, he smiled and kissed him. “Looks like we’ll need to add another couple of rooms instead of just the one, then.”

Stiles ran his hand over Eva’s head as she rested it on his tummy and sucked her thumb. “I think that would be a good idea… Eventually the twins are going to need their own rooms and Eva’s not gonna want to share with her siblings forever. So we’re going to need a like three more rooms at least and if we have any more, probably more later.”

“I know I’ve said it before, but we _could_ always just find a bigger house,” Derek teased gently, stroking a hand over the bulge of their new babies. A foot - or maybe a shoulder or knee - nudged into the palm of Derek’s hand and he patted it. “Or maybe we could just send the twins to live with Lydia for a few years.”

Stiles laughed at that. “First of all, I don't think you’d be able to let our pups go long enough to live with Lydia and second, she needs her beauty sleep. There’s a reason she won't sleep inside the house when she visits,” Stiles pointed out and rubbed his belly, trying to calm their babies down. “Stop fighting inside of me please. My organs don't approve.”

“I’m still trying to figure out how we ended up converting that garage into her private apartment,” Derek muttered. Lydia had stayed with them for a week soon after the twins were born, and before they’d known it, Derek paid a contractor to gut an old garage and turn it into a pretty little place that all the kids called ‘Auntie’s House’. “Did you tell her about the babies yet?”

“Not yet. I wanted to tell you first. I was going to call her later and ask her if she wanted to come over and watch the kids so we can celebrate. She hasn’t babysat in a while. I was hoping she’d do it or I could call Allison and see if she will take the kids for the night. I know Isaac always enjoys having them over.”

Derek kissed Stiles again then pulled Eva into his lap. “C’mon, let’s give Dad a little room so you don’t squash him and the babies,” he told her, kissing the top of her head. “And I think Isaac mentioned taking Allison and the kids out for pizza, so they probably wouldn’t mind three more.”

Stiles grabbed his phone where it had fallen between the cushions as he napped and texted Allison. When it buzzed, he looked at it and smiled brightly. “She’ll be here in an hour to get them before they go for pizza. You wanna help me wash them up and get them ready?” Stiles was trying to figure out how he was going to roll off the couch without falling over to get up so he could get the kids a bag packed.

“I’ll get them ready,” Derek promised, getting to his feet before he helped Stiles up as well. “You just go get cleaned up and don’t fall.” He bounced Eva again. “Did Allison say if she’s bringing the kids back for the run later?”

“Yeah, they’ll be back later, all kids in tow.” Stiles smiled and kissed Derek. “So hopefully we’ll have plenty of time before they get back.” He kissed a sleepy Eva too, running a hand over her back. “I’ll go pack them a bag while you get them washed up and ready.”

Derek rubbed Eva’s back as he headed down the hall to tell the twins that he’d sold them to Aunt Allison and Uncle Isaac. The news was greeted with laughter and shrieks loud enough to wake the dead. Thankfully, their sister slept like the very long dead, because she didn’t even stir, just kept drooling on his shoulder while he shepherded what had to be six kids through the process of washing, dressing, and getting packed for a weekend away. Somehow, Derek got everyone ready by the time Allison and Isaac showed up to get them. There were promises to see them for the full moon run, hugs and kisses, and at long last, Derek closed the door behind them and looked at Stiles. “The whole house, all to ourselves,” he sighed, smiling at Stiles. “You hear that? It’s peace. Beautiful, wonderful peace.”

Stiles laughed softly and smiled at Derek. “It might be peaceful, but I always feel strange when I don't have one of them tugging at my leg for something,” Stiles said honestly. “I guess after years of this I just kinda got used to them being around all the time.” He reached out for Derek when he was close enough to pull him into a kiss, even if his belly was keeping them apart.

“Well, don’t worry. We’ve got years and years of someone needing something from us,” Derek assured Stiles, stroking a hand over Stiles’ stomach. “Did you want to go get something to eat or order in?”

“Well,” Stiles kissed him, holding Derek as close as he could. “I was hoping we could stay in and you know, eat some cookies in bed,” he teased. “Since we’ve got the house to ourselves we don't have to be quiet or worry about being interrupted.”

“Cookies in bed, huh?” Derek grinned and kissed Stiles deeply, his hand drifting down from Stiles’ stomach to palm him through his pants. “That sounds good to me.” Another slow kiss. “Although we shouldn’t have to worry about being quiet much longer...”

“Mmm, well, unless we’re selling all of our children to the circus we’re gonna have to worry about being quiet until they’re teenagers and go running out of the house when we’re eating cookies.” Stiles chuckled and kissed Derek again, already pulling Derek back with him towards their bedroom.

Derek stripped his shirt off then reached for Stiles’. “That’s a tempting thought, but I was actually talking about the soundproofing I asked the contractor to put in.” He grinned at his mate. “Surprise, we’re finally getting a quiet bedroom.”

Surprise and happiness showed on Stiles’ face and he gave Derek a hard, appreciative kiss. “Oh my god that’s perfect,” he breathed, pulling Derek along and kissing him, hands roaming his mate’s body as they made their way to their room. “Now I don't have to worry about being quiet while begging for your knot, which you’re so going to give me tonight. Knot me up nice and tight and full of your come before you go off for your run with the pack.” Stiles was already hard just thinking about it and when they reached their bed, he sat down, hands moving to Derek’s jeans to pull them open.

“Wanna come back after we’re done and lick you open,” Derek growled, his eyes flashing red as he hurried to help Stiles get his jeans off. He shoved them down then reached down to squeeze himself through his underwear. “You want me to mount you after the run? Come in still shifted and claim my mate like I did after our first full moon?”

“Fuck yes,” Stiles groaned, mouthing at Derek’s dick through his underwear, leaving a nice, wet spot as he sucked him through the cotton. “I’ll still be open and leaking your come and you can slide right in and fuck me hard and knot me after you lick me clean.” Stiles pulled Derek’s underwear down to release his dick, licking and sucking the tip before opening up and taking him in deep, groaning around his hard cock.

“Oh my God,” Derek moaned, one hand moving down to cup Stiles’ head. Derek’s head tipped back, moaning again as Stiles did that thing with his tongue that always drove Derek nuts before he had to push Stiles back. “Wait. Stop. Fuck, need to stop or I’m gonna come.”

“Can't come until you’re inside of me,” Stiles said after he pulled off, nuzzling against Derek’s hip and breathed him in. “Gonna suck you off tomorrow. Then you can fuck me after.” He pulled Derek down for a hungry kiss, groaning against his lips as he pushed Derek’s underwear off. “I need you.”

Derek shuddered and kicked his underwear off, gritting out, “Get naked. Need to get you open for me.” Derek made a show of sniffing the air as Stiles complied. “Fuck. You’re already wet, aren’t you?”

“I’m horny as fuck, what did you expect?” Stiles grinned, moving to crawl onto the bed on hands and knees so Derek could work him open. “We don't get to have sex as often as I need it with three kids in the house and being pregnant makes my already awesome sex drive ten times worse.”

“I know it probably makes me a male chauvinist, but I love what being pregnant does to your sex drive,” Derek said, rubbing his fingers over Stiles’ leaking hole. He pushed against it with two fingertips, teasing Stiles with the idea of pressing in before he actually did it. “God, look at you. Just barely got started and you’re already soaking wet.”

Stiles groaned, head dropping as he rocked back onto Derek’s fingers to take them all the way in. “God, just need you,” he breathed. “Need you to fucking pound me, give it to me hard before you knot me. Fuck - Derek,” Stiles whined, starting to fuck himself back against Derek’s hand, slicking his fingers until they were dripping with it. “Please.”

“Should really open you up more,” Derek said, but there was no conviction in his voice. “Sure you don’t want me to wait?”

Stiles rocked back onto Derek’s fingers with another groan, grinding against his hand for more. “Hurry the fuck up and get in me. I need you Derek, fuck -” Stiles grabbed some pillows and pushed them under his chest, leaning against them to help balance himself better. “Can't wait for you to finger me open more.”

Derek pulled his fingers out, used them to slick himself up then lined up and pushed in, hard and fast, not stopping until he was pressed up tight against Stiles’ ass. “Oh God... fuck, so tight and wet,” he panted, pulling back and shoving in again. “This what you want? Wanna get fucking reamed?”

Stiles hissed and then groaned at the stretch, shoving back hard against Derek’s hips as best he could. “Yeah - fuck, oh my god. Derek! Unnghh.” Stiles twisted his hands into the sheets, whining and writhing for more.

Derek’s hands settled on Stiles’ hips, pulling him back hard into his thrusts. The bed was creaking and groaning, the headboard slamming against the wall, but all of it was drowned out by their moans as they both lost themselves in the sheer pleasure of the fuck. “So fucking good,” Derek groaned. “God, look at you just fucking taking it.”

Stiles let out a mewl and squeezed tight around Derek, burying his head against the bed as Derek fucked hard against his prostate. “Oh, fuck - gonna come soon. Wanna come on your knot. God, need you to knot me and fill me up before you leave.” As much as they possibly could before the pack run tonight. Stiles needed to be fucked out by then or he’d go mad wanting Derek all night.

Derek’s dick to start thickening at the bas and he fucked in for a few more strokes, then reached down to cup Stiles’ balls as he shoved in and locked tight. “Fuck... c’mon, fucking come for me. Wanna feel you do it, need it so fucking bad.”

Derek’s knot swelled inside of him, pressing in all the right places, rubbing against Stiles’ sensitive prostate. He groaned and bucked as he came, squeezing Derek’s knot so tight he could feel the pleasure-pain spike in him. “OhhhfuckkkkkfuckDerek!” When Stiles came back to, he was panting and smiling, grinding back against Derek as he felt hands smooth over damp skin as Derek guided them down onto their sides and pressed up close against his back. “We need to do that a lot more, especially with the new soundproofing.” Stiles moved his hands to his stomach, rubbing his belly as he felt their babies kicking his organs.

“Uh-huh.” Derek nuzzled against the back of Stiles’ neck, hand stroking over the curve of Stiles’ stomach. “I think we woke them up.”

“Mmm… well it was worth it. Even if they are kicking up a storm now.” Stiles rested his hand on Derek’s and sighed happily. “I’m glad we have time before you have to go. I think we’re gonna be like this for a while.”

“Sounds perfect,” Derek said softly. He scraped his teeth over the mark on Stiles’ neck while his hand moved over Stiles’ body. “So fucking hot.”

Stiles shuddered at Derek’s teeth on his neck, feeling Derek’s come fill him up, making his knot tighter inside of him. “Oh, fuck,” Stiles moaned and ground back as best he could onto Derek’s knot. “Love you,” he echoed. “My mate.” Stiles hissed when one of the babies either kicked or elbowed him. “I swear one of these little rascals is a werewolf. Or they’re going to be soccer players.”

Derek chuckled. “Maybe they’re a werewolf soccer player. Or a future football player.” Derek rubbed Stiles’ stomach, earning another kick. “Could be a ballerina, too.”

“Whatever they’re going to be they need to calm down,” Stiles chuckled, resting his head on Derek’s arm and rubbing his belly with him. “They’re a lot more active than Eva was. So I’m guessing werewolves. We’re gonna have two more pups running around here for the next couple of years. The kids are going to be so jealous they can't shift like their siblings.”

“They’ve already asked me how long it’ll be until they can shift like me. I told them it would be a few years. I didn’t have the heart to tell them they probably won’t be able to manage until they’re out of high school.”

“You’re gonna break their hearts when they find out,” Stiles teased. “Poor kids are going to be expecting to shift every year. You’re gonna make me give them the talk, aren’t you? The you can't shift like your father talk until you’re in your twenties, if then, talk.”

“I don’t know how to tell them,” Derek admitted, nuzzling Stiles’ neck again. “I wish I knew a way to help them shift, but it’s one of those things that just comes late. At least the full moon won’t really affect them for a few years. That’s a good thing, right?”

“Other than their moodiness during the full moons that’s a good thing,” Stiles agreed. “They were little terrors today. I had to break up more than one fight about toys and snacks and - I thought I was going to have to corral them into the bedroom and lock them in,” Stiles laughed. “We survived though.”

“I’m glad to hear that. I’d have hated to come home and find everyone dead from frustration.” Derek shivered and ground up against Stiles with a moan. “We should start having Allison take the kids every full moon... can do this more often.”

“Mmm, fuck. Keep doing that and I’m gonna come again.” Stiles could already feel himself starting to harden and he reached back to grab Derek’ ass and keep him tight against him. “And I’ll ask. Probably have to take her kids a couple of times a month before the full moon, but it’ll be totally worth it for this.”

“Definitely worth it.” The words came out in a low growl as Derekmoved his hand down to wrap his fingers around Stiles’ cock, stroking Stiles as he ground against him and scraped his teeth over Stiles’ neck. “Love feeling you come. The way you sound, the smell, how tight you squeeze me... could do this for hours.”

“We have a few hours,” Stiles groaned and bared his neck for Derek, unable to fuck into his hand or onto his knot the way he really wanted to with how big his belly was now. “Oh, god. Claim me. Wanna have a fresh mark tonight. Please, Derek,” Stiles whined and squeezed around his knot.

Derek shifted, just his fangs, and stroked them over Stiles’ neck, teasing him with the promise of them. “Need it?” he asked, grinding hard against him, swiping his thumb over the tip of Stiles’ dick. “How bad do you want my fangs in you?”

“Need it,” Stiles whimpered, moving his hand from where he was gripping Derek’s ass tightly to bury in Derek’s hair and dragging him tighter against his neck. “Please. Wanna come on your knot with your fangs in my neck. God, Derek.”

“Yeah,” Derek growled right before he bit down into Stiles’ neck and ground up hard against him. He was rewarded was Stiles’ howl and hot spurts of sticky fluid over his fingers.

They stayed locked together for some time, long enough for Derek to feel the moon start to tug at him, pulling at him to let him know there wasn’t much time before he’d have to shift. He kissed Stiles and eased free, then dropped another kiss on his stomach. “Let your dad get some rest while I’m gone, okay?” he told them, smoothing his hand over them. He rolled out of bed and straightened up, then shifted, licked Stiles’ hand when Stiles reached it out to him, and trotted off to go find his pups and pack.

***

“Hey, stop running or you’re not going to hold the babies,” Stiles called after their three children as they opened the door and walked into the house. He had bags, even though Derek didn't want him carrying anything, but they’d settled on Derek carrying the babies in since they were a lot heavier than the bags. “Jess! Stop tripping your brother.” Stiles sighed and shook his head, tossing the bags down and went to separate them and put them on the couch. “Be good so you can see the babies. Come on Eva.” He helped her up to sit next to her siblings and then sat between the three of them. “Hand ‘em over,” Stiles said with grabby hands for one of their babies.

“I want Elsa!” Eva said, bouncing on the couch, excited at the thought of getting to actually hold one of the babies that the kids had only seen in pictures.

Derek smiled as he handed Anna over to Stiles and went to kneel in front of Eva to let her see her sister. “You remember what we talked about, right? How she’s not like the Elsa of the movie and -”

“We have to be careful with her cause babies can get hurt,” Eva said, repeating what Derek told all of them over and over again. “And we don’t know if she has magic like Dad, but it won’t be like it was in the movie.”

“That’s right.” Derek kissed her, then looked over at Stiles before he carefully settled Elsa on Jess’ lap. “Make sure you hold her head right here,” he told her, then reached out to cup Eva’s cheek. “You can hold her when you’re bigger, sweetheart. But I bet she’d like a kiss from you right now.”

Stiles held Anna close as Eva clambered over his lap to get to Elsa and give her a kiss, staring at her longingly. “Can you get the bottles out of the bag?” he asked Derek, scooting over so Eva could sit next to Jess and stare at Elsa. “I wanna make sure we feed them before they start wailing in the next fifteen minutes.”

“Jeff, could you get the bottles?” Derek asked him, but Jeff didn’t say anything, too wrapped up in the sight of his new sister to speak. Chuckling, Derek turned around to take the bottles out, handing one over to Stiles before he deftly reclaimed Elsa and offered her the other one. “We’ll see about you feeding her when you’re a little older,” he promised Jess as he settled on the couch with both Jess and Eva leaning over Elsa. “And I’m sure Dad’s gonna need your help to play with Anna when she shifts.”

“Anna will be thrilled to have the three of you to play with when she’s a pup.” Stiles smiled, offering Anna the bottle. She latched on quickly and suckled hard and Stiles was so glad he couldn't nurse because he bet nursing werewolf pups would _hurt_. “Jeff, you wanna come over here buddy and see Anna?” Stiles chuckled when Jeff jumped off the couch and hurried over to see Anna since Elsa was unreachable.

“Can you make her shift?” Jeff asked. “I wanna see what she looks like as a puppy!” Jess perked up at the mention of a puppy and hurried over to look at Anna.

“Maybe later before bedtime,” Stiles told them and watched Anna eat. “She’s eating and your sisters will need a nap afterwards, but we can always ask Daddy to help her shift later. How does that sound?”

“Okay, I guess.” Jeff looked over at Jess, then back at his dad. “Can we watch Pacific Rim?”

“You can, just keep the volume turned down, okay? You don't want to startle your baby sisters. Can you put it in or do you need help?” Stiles asked Jeff, wiggling the bottle so Anna could suckle more. He glanced over at Elsa eating slowly and Stiles just wanted to nuzzle up against his babies to get his and Derek’s scents all over them.

“I can do it,” Jeff said, running off to get the disc, Jess following right on his heels.

Eva looked at Elsa and leaned over to give her another kiss. “Can I help you put her to sleep?” she asked, obviously enthralled with the new additions to the household.

Derek smiled, but shook his head. “The babies are going to sleep with Dad when they nap for a little while,” he explained. “Having you there might make it hard for them to fall asleep, but you can help me make the bottles when they wake up again.”

That seemed to satisfy her. She kissed Elsa again, then ran off after Jess and Jeff. Derek chuckled and glanced at Stiles. “How are you holding up?”

Stiles smiled and watched Derek feeding Elsa. “Tired, but I’m okay. Trying to fight the urge to bite our children’s little fingers off. I blame this wolfy mate bond we have,” he teased. “You?”

“Happier than I ever thought possible.” Derek smiled as he eased the bottle free and reached for a rag to drape over his shoulder so he could burp Elsa. “About to be way more tired than ever before, but it’s worth it.”

“Completely,” Stiles agreed, placing the bottle aside when Anna was done and mirroring Derek to burp her. He kissed Anna’s head as he pat her back, smiling. “I can't believe we have five kids now,” Stiles laughed softly. “I must be crazy cause I still want more in a few years.”

Derek laughed and leaned over to kiss him. “Brave words for a man who was cut open just a few days ago,” he said, raising Elsa up to pat and rub her back. “And I must be crazy, because I’m willing to have just as many as you want.”

“Yeah?” Stiles grinned, raising his brows. “What if I want like, twenty? I mean, we are gonna live for a long, long time. And I’m gonna be in my prime for baby making for a long while. I’m not sure I’m gonna want to stop,” he laughed. “Our pack is going to double in size.”

“Twenty might be a bit much, but I wouldn’t say no to ten or so.” Derek stroked a finger over one downy cheek and turned to nuzzle Elsa, drawing in her smell. “She’s perfect,” he whispered, kissing her before he eased her back down and offered the bottle again. “They both are.”

Stiles kissed Anna and held her close to his chest once she was done burping. “You think Elsa and Eva will be magical?” he asked quietly, watching Anna starting to nod off. Stiles knew that he wanted to carry on his emissary line, but he wasn't sure how he felt about their kids being in danger once they took their place in a pack if they were.

“It wouldn’t surprise me if they both were.” Derek watched Elsa finish her bottle. He set the bottle down on the coffee table and stood up, then looked at Stiles. “Do you need a hand getting up?”

“Yeah. Really shouldn't have put the kids on the couch earlier,” Stiles said and held a hand out for Derek’s. He held Anna close, tight against his chest so he wouldn't drop her when Derek helped him up. “So thankful for super-mate-healing-bond otherwise I’d be totally miserable right now.”

“And here I thought you didn’t appreciate being linked,” Derek teased as he helped Stiles up. “Weren’t you the one complaining about being edgy and horny on the full moon just last month? C’mon, let’s get you and the girls settled and I’ll come back in here and clean up.”

Stiles nudged Derek with his shoulder and gave him a smirk. “Give me a couple of weeks and you know I’ll be begging for cookies.” He walked to their bedroom and carefully put Anna onto the bed so he could undress. “And don't be complaining that you’re tired, because we’ll both be tired even if we want cookies.”

“I’ve already learned that you’re never too tired for cookies.” Derek placed Elsa on the bed beside Anna and reached out to pull Stiles in for a kiss. “And we really should come up with a new code.Tthe kids made us actually bake cookies last time we were talking about it, remember?”

Stiles laughed at the memory, kissing Derek back. “Mmmm, well, knitting doesn't sound so appealing. Have any other ideas for code words for me needing you to fuck my brains out? I’m not sure if they’d believe knitting.”

“How about pack business?”

“Sounds all official and important. I like it. Give me a couple of weeks of super-healing-time and I’ll be ready for some pack business.” He’d be needing a lot of pack business time, especially if they couldn't knot with needing to feed the babies and getting up often to tend to them.

Derek smiled and squeezed Stiles’ ass. “I’m sure there’ll be quite a bit of pack business to attend to once you’re up to it. Just be glad you don’t have a six week wait like most humans after childbirth.”

“Oh man. I’d go insane if I had to wait six weeks. I don't know how other humans do it, with the waiting.” Stiles turned his face in to scent Derek, nuzzling close and holding him a few more moments. “Help me undress before you go watch Pacific Rim with the kids?”

Derek groaned, but tugged Stiles’ shirt over his head all the same. “Think you’ll be up to a little preliminary pack business later tonight?” he asked, carefully pushing Stiles’ sweatpants down off his hips. He leaned in for a longer kiss as he shoved them down. “I want to suck you,” he whispered.

Stiles was willing himself not to get hard just thinking about Derek sucking him, given they hadn't had sex in over a week. “I’m willing to give it a shot, but if I pop a stitch I’m blaming you,” he chuckled. “You’ll have to shift and lick it closed for me unless you’re driving me back to the hospital to be sewn up again.”

“I can do that,” Derek agreed, kissing him a little deeper, hand stroking down over Stiles’ side to squeeze his ass. “And we’ll be careful. You’ll just have to lay back and let me get you off. That shouldn’t be too strenuous, right?”

“No, but amazing orgasms from your delicious mouth might be.” Stiles kissed him, sighing when he had to pull away, otherwise he’d beg for the blowjob now. “After we put everyone down to bed?” he asked, climbing into their bed next to the babies and cuddling close to them. “Maybe you can fuck my mouth after? That shouldn't be too strenuous either.”

“I think we’d be better off sticking to a handjob for the first couple days,” Derek replied. “You can suck me off once your stitches come out.”

Stiles pouted and gave Derek that puppy look he hadn't yet mastered but was doing his best Scott impression of. “I can just lay here and you can straddle my chest and go to town. No moving for me,” he suggested. “You still think that would be too much?”

Derek chuckled and leaned down to kiss him, lingering before he straightened up. “When your stitches come out,” he said again, smiling as the puppy eyes became even more pronounced. “You know, five years ago, that would’ve worked.”

Stiles narrowed his eyes at Derek then frowned. “Why isn’t it working now? I haven't lost my mojo. It should be working. You’ve never been able to resist me before now.” The majority of the time, Stiles always got his way, no matter what it was he wanted.

“I’m learning resistance. A few more years and I’ll be totally immune.”

“Mmm, well, if you’re so concerned I don't think we should do any preliminary pack business, since that’ll be more strenuous than the other suggestion. You know, muscles contracting from amazing orgasms and all.” Stiles pulled a sheet up over himself and circled an arm around their babies. “Two weeks and I should be ready.”

“Yeah, okay. Do you want me to sleep on the couch for a while? So you and the girls have room?”

“You can sleep here with us,” Stiles said, running his hand over them one at a time. “Or I can see if they’ll sleep in the nursery. They’re going to have to start sleeping in their crib at some point.” Even if Stiles would be fighting the need to watch over them while they slept.

“We can wait a few nights to move them. They’re used to us being near, and if Anna’s first shift happens in the middle of the night, they might need us.” Jess had been born as a puppy, and Jeff had shifted within hours, but so far, Anna was staying human. “Do you think she hasn’t shifted because Elsa’s human?”

“I think so,” Stiles said as he watched their babies. “Jeff and Jess knew that Eva was human the second they saw her. Maybe Anna knows that Elsa is human too and that’s why she hasn't shifted. Jeff and Jess shifted together all the time when they were pups.”

“Yeah, I know. You think Elsa will resent Anna for being different?”

Stiles thought about that for a moment. “She’ll probably be jealous sometimes, but I think having Eva will help her. She’ll have someone that’s human to relate to, even if it’s not Anna. They’re sisters. They’ll still love each other no matter what…”

“Did you ever wish you’d asked Scott for the bite?” Derek asked quietly as he watched Stiles and the babies.

“No,” Stiles said without hesitation, shaking his head. “Because then we never would have our family and I wouldn't be an emissary. None of this would’ve been possible if I’d become a werewolf. You can't be both a werewolf and an emissary… and I wouldn't give this up for anything.”

Derek smiled and kissed Stiles one more time, then left Stiles and the babies alone to nap. He spent the afternoon watching giant robots beat up monsters, then made supper and fed first the kids, then Stiles, before he finally managed to put everyone to bed. “They’re all asleep,” he said softly as he walked into the bedroom and closed the door behind him. “How are our girls?“

“Ready for another nap now that they’re fed,” Stiles chuckled, smiling up at Derek. “Anna had hiccups even after I burped her and -” Stiles pulled back the sheet to show Derek the small pup cuddled up against his chest with Elsa right beside her. “She squealed after she shifted and fussed a bit, but she calmed right down when I moved Elsa closer to her.”

“She’s beautiful,” Derek murmured, reaching out to stroke a hand lightly down her back. “Look at her coloring. Like your eyes.”

“Well Jeff and Jess are your color so it’s only fair that Anna gets to be different. She does have a human twin after all. Might as well lump in all the special in one pregnancy,” Stiles teased, smiling as he watched Derek pet Anna. “You wanna hold her?”

“I can wait until she wakes up for her next feeding.” Derek tugged his shirt off and stripped out of his pants, then climbed into bed on the other side of the babies, reaching over to take Stiles’ hand. “How are you feeling?”

Stiles turned his hand over to hold Derek’s back. “I feel good,” he assured him. “After all I’m not carrying two footballs inside of me anymore. I’m free from baby weight.” He gave Derek’s hand a squeeze. “I’m okay, really. Not in any pain. Remember I have super-healing.”

“Good.” Derek squeezed Stiles’ hand in return, breathing in the scents of baby and Stiles. “Do you really think it’s going to be two weeks before you’re up to pack business?”

“No,” Stiles said honestly. “I mean, I won't be able to have intercourse for a couple of weeks, but I think I’ll be good for other stuff. But you didn't want me to strain myself,” he reminded Derek. “And it’s pretty much up to the doctor when I get my stitches out.”

“Hoist by my own petard,” Derek said ruefully, shaking his head with a smile. He nuzzled against Elsa’s cheek and sighed. “It’s worth it, though.”

Stiles snorted and smiled. “I think my dick has a protest for that,” he joked. “But if it means the babies sleep here with us then I’m okay with that.” He wasn't sure what he’d do without them there and there was nowhere else they could have sex in the house without being heard by two werewolf children and a human one that was just as nosy as Stiles was at her age.

“We’ll keep them with us until you’re ready,” Derek promised, rising up on one elbow so he could lean across to kiss his mate. “You realize the rest of the kids are probably going to wind up here at some point tonight, don’t you?”

Stiles scrunched up his face at the news. “Is it too late to put the babies in their crib? You know there’s not going to be room for three more kids in our bed.”

“We’ll squeeze together and manage somehow,” Derek said with a smile.

As if on cue there was a quiet knock on their door before first a nose and then big eyes poked in through the crack to look into the room. “Daddy?” Eva whispered not-so-quietly. “Are you asleep?”

Derek smiled and held out his hand. “Come here, sweetheart.” He helped her up onto the bed when she padded over to it, tucking her in next to Anna. “Did you have a bad dream, or did you just want to see your sisters again?”

“I wanted to see my sisters,” she said and then gasped when she saw Anna was a puppy. “A puppy!” she whispered loudly and reached out to touch.

“Careful baby, she’s sleeping. You don't wanna wake her up or she’ll get cranky like you do when we wake you up in the morning.” Stiles smiled as he watched Eva pet Anna carefully.

“And cranky babies mean Dad and I don’t get sleep, so we can’t make you pancakes in the morning. You want to sleep in here?” Derek asked, kissing her cheek.

“Yes, Daddy. With you and Dad and my sisters!” She was petting Anna a little more enthusiastically now and Stiles reached out to calm her petting down so she wouldn't wake Anna up when Anna squeaked and wriggled around, nestling into Elsa. Just when Stiles was about to say something, two more heads poked into their room, hurrying over to the bed once they saw Eva was in with them.

“Where are earth are we going to put all of them,” Stiles joked and chuckled as Jess and Jeff climbed up onto the bed to join them.

“Maybe I could eat them up,” Derek growled, flashing eyes and fangs at the twins, but they just laughed and climbed up onto him, hugging him and squealing when he pretended to bite them. “What do you think, Stiles? Wouldn’t some nice juicy kids make a good meal?”

“Mmm, I think this little leg looks mighty tasty,” Stiles said and reached out to grab Jess’ leg and leaned over to nibble on it. She squealed and jerked around and Stiles had to let go of her unless he wanted a black eye from her getting too excited and accidentally kneeing him. “I think we should cook ‘em up for breakfast for getting out of bed.”

“That sounds good to me,” Derek agreed, growling and burying his face in Jeff’s neck, blowing raspberries against his skin until he shrieked with laughter. Derek immediately regretted that when Elsa woke up and started crying.

“Aww, baby, no.” Stiles pouted and reached out to touch her. “Jeff didn't mean to scare you,” he said softly and Anna immediately started whimpering and whining when Elsa didn't quiet down and go back to sleep. Stiles pushed himself to sit up and picked up Elsa, tucking her against his chest before scooping up Anna and holding her close to her sister, trying to get them to calm down again and go to sleep.

Derek scooted in a little bit, rolling Jeff off to his other side, then tucking Jess in along with him. “We’d better quiet down and be good, or Dad will make us all go sleep somewhere else,” he told them. “And I don’t have another bed to sleep in like you do!”

“Silly Daddy,” Eva giggled, reaching out on chubby hand to pat Anna’s neck. “You sleep here, with Dad!”

Stiles raised his brows at them. “No one is sleeping here if you all keep waking up your sisters. It’s sleepy time for everyone,” he reminded them, trying to soothe Elsa who was still whimpering and fussing, Anna echoing her distress in puppy whimpers. “Go back to sleep babies, your sisters and brother are just excited that you’re home.”

Derek reached over to stroke Anna’s fur then rub Elsa’s back. “It’s okay,” he told them softly. “We’re all going to go to sleep, and when you need us, your dad and I will be right here...”

“Preferably in the morning,” Stiles told them both, but knew that there was no way they would be sleeping through the night yet. After a few more moments Elsa started to quiet and drift back into sleep, Anna right along with her. Stiles placed first pup and then baby carefully back on the bed and waited for them to wake up for several minutes before he lay down again next to them. “No more noise or Daddy isn’t making his special pancakes in the morning,” he told their three other children.

Immediately, silence reigned in the room. “Works every time,” Derek said, leaning over two sleeping children and a puppy to kiss Stiles. “I’ll get up with them tonight. You need your sleep.”

“Okay,” Stiles yawned, holding Derek for a moment longer to give him a proper kiss. “I love you,” he whispered, holding Derek’s hand over the babies and Eva. Stiles always hated going to sleep, hated feeling like he was losing a moment, but he was tired and couldn't stay awake any longer. “Two weeks,” he mumbled. “But you better bet we’re doing something before then,” he said around another yawn.

“No argument here,” Derek told Stiles, stroking his thumb over Stiles’ hand. “We’ll make time for all sorts of pack business.” Derek smiled at him. “I love you. And I don’t care how many kids we have, we can all puppy-pile in bed.” Even if they ended up with twenty kids, Derek was perfectly fine with that.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope y'all enjoyed the fic! [Come say hi on Tumblr!](http://sterekbros.tumblr.com/)
> 
>  
> 
>   **Spoilers! Discussions of tags.**
> 
>  _Mpreg_ \- Eventually in the story there is the option of Mpreg and Stiles does get pregnant at the end of the fic, but his belly isn't present until the epilogue, where him and Derek do have pregnant sex on a full moon night. If you think this will hinder your reading, you will be able to skip the epilogue and still have a complete story :) The epilogue was just an added extra we wanted to do for ourselves.
> 
>  _Suicide_ \- Stiles talks about how he committed suicide by pills and drowning after his mother's death and was brought back and healed by his Emissary powers.
> 
>  _Sexual Assault_ \- Stiles gets groped and kissed by another werewolf against his will, but nothing else happens other than that. Said character is not seen again after this scene.
> 
>  _Character Death_ \- Scott dies at the beginning of this fic in combat.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Art for "Letters from Home"](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2768312) by [NateintheAttic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NateintheAttic/pseuds/NateintheAttic)




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